I took a month-long break from writing these every week, but after the events of this weekend I’ve realised I just can’t stay away from the global entertainment phenomenon that is Scottish football.
As well as being extremely busy, part of the motivation behind this hiatus of mine was the nonsense that followed Brendan Rodgers’ departure from Celtic to Leicester City, despite him saying that he didn’t see it as a stepping stone, and that it was his dream job. Whilst according to the average /soccer user, this cemented the Scottish Premiership’s status as a diddy league unworthy of following, it DID provide an opportunity to examine Celtic’s support’s journey through the 5 stages of grief. First there was denial, then anger, before depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance that Moussa Dembélé was right all along.
Elsewhere, it’s brown trousers time for fans of Hamilton, Dundee, and St Mirren; and the race for a top 6 place - and a chance at European football - is going to go down to the wire.
A timeline of all of the patter in the SPFL, and results from the last month in the Scottish Premiership ‘reported’ below, taking a more detailed look at this weekend’s fixtures, and results from the Scottish Cup, the Challenge Cup final, and the national team’s Euro 2020 qualifying games (as much as it pains me to do so).
I’m not going to go into copious detail with every result, because there’s a good 30-something games to discuss, but there will be at least highlights of every game, just a click away.

Wednesday 27/02/19


Hearts	1 - 2	Celtic

Neil Lennon’s first match as caretaker manager for Celtic was a visit to his previous team’s city rivals. He was greeted by two banners, one from the Green Brigade directed at Brendan Rodgers reading “You traded immortality for mediocrity. Never a Celt. Always a fraud.”, and one from Hearts fans reading “Brendan Rodgers is here for 10 in a row”.
Once again the fans were centre of attention at Tynecastle, with Celtic’s support lobbing a coin at Bobby Zlamal, and Hearts’ support producing the staunchest tribute act of 2019.
If there’s a moment in this season where Hibs and Celtic fans have been united in tweeting “inject this into my veins”, it will have been when Odsonne Edouard’s 92nd-minute winner against 10-man Hearts provoked this reaction on the touchline.
Highlights.


St Johnstone	1 - 2	Hibernian

The official SPFL YouTube channel’s description for the highlights of this match does it more justice than I ever could - “Florian Kamberi went down as if "hit by a 40-foot truck" to win the spot kick that set Hibernian on course for a third consecutive win”.
Meanwhile, the BBC still can’t differentiate between former Hibs forward Dominique Malonga and current loanee Stéphane Omeonga.
You can watch the aforementioned highlights here.


Aberdeen	0 - 2	Hamilton Academical

Since awful home performances from Aberdeen are no longer remarkable, this game should exclusively be remembered for George Oakley’s Marco van Basten-esque wondergoal, and little else.
Highlights.


Rangers	4 - 0	Dundee

A solid performance from Rangers who went into half-time 3-0 up against a struggling Rangers.
Highlights.


Kilmarnock	PSTP	Motherwell

This game was postponed on account of no-one, including the players, being able to see a thing. Sorry, Motherwell defender Charles Dunne.

Saturday 02/03/19

Scottish Premiership


St Mirren	1 - 0	Livingston

What a huge result this is for the Buddies, courtesy of an 89th minute goal from Ryan Flynn! This result put them one point behind Dundee.
Highlights.


Kilmarnock	0 - 0	Motherwell

Worth the wait, then. 8 games without a win for Kilmarnock at this point.
Highlights for the morbidly curious.

Scottish Cup - Quarter-finals


Hibernian	0 - 2	Celtic

Without meaning for this to turn into a Scottish Football Fan Trouble Roundup, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that a bottle of Buckfast, or Bucks Fizz if you’re the Mail, was thrown at Scott Sinclair whilst it was 0-0, in the first of two incidents of bampot behaviour at Easter Road within the next week.
Not sure it quite had the desired effect, mind, as shortly after two belters from James Forrest and Scott Brown did the business for Celtic.
Full highlights with commentary.

Sunday 03/03/19


Aberdeen	1 - 1	Rangers

Having been sent off in his previous three matches against Aberdeen, Alfredo Morelos was welcomed back to Pittodrie by a banner reading “Morelos tu madre es un colchón”, or in Scots: “Morelos yer maw’s a mattress”. The Daily Record, of course, seeing this as just as offensive as the fans who fling bottles and coins at players and managers.
Sam Cosgrove had the Dons ahead from the penalty spot, but was at fault as Joe Worrall snuck in the equaliser shortly after half-time, forcing a replay. Full highlights with commentary.


Dundee United	1 - 2	Inverness CT

Brilliant late drama as wee Aaron Doran headed in a goal in stoppage time to book Caley Thistle’s place in the semi-final, in a game which they dominated. After beautiful goal from Joe Chalmers put ICT ahead, United were equal through a contentious penalty converted by Nicky Clarke. Inverness had the ball in the net again before the winner, but Nathan Austin had been ruled offside. Overall, ICT worthy winners.
Full highlights.

Monday 04/03/19


Partick Thistle	1 - 1

A hilarious performance from Hearts on account of how predictable it was; totally dominant with no end product beyond Christophe Berra’s 12th-minute opener, which was cancelled out by Christie Elliot on the counter attack an hour later. Uche Ikpeazu almost scored one of the competition’s greatest ever goals before half-time, and if he had, that most likely would have been it for Partick. However, they managed to force the replay, along with Aberdeen and Rangers, although neither game could be broadcast, because UEFA want you to watch the Champions League.
Full highlights with commentary.

Friday 08/03/19


Hibernian	1 - 1	Rangers

Rangers fans retaliated to the Morelos banner they saw at Pittodrie by coming up with a Spanish banner of their own, reading “de asientos vacios a ovejas que abusan sexualmente Aberdeen FC”, or in English: “of empty seats for sheep who sexually abuse Aberdeen FC”.
With the spotlight on fan behaviour as much as ever before, weeks of incidents were capped off by a moronic Hibs fan running onto the pitch trying to start on James Tavernier, before shiteing it as soon as Tavernier stood up against him.
Rangers totally dominated, and Hibs could have been down to 10 men within as many minutes if Darren McGregor had been sent off for his elbow on Morelos. Morelos couldn’t take his chances, and Rangers couldn’t take their chance to close the gap on Celtic, with Florian Kamberi equalising with 75 minutes played. Darren McGregor was eventually sent-off after all, for a second yellow in stoppage time.
Highlights.

Saturday 09/03/19


Livingston	3 - 1	St Johnstone

Two teams who haven’t really got going in 2019, but fair play to Livingston for responding in such a way to going down after Joe Shaughnessy’s early opener.
Highlights.


Celtic	0 - 0	Aberdeen

Aberdeen’s Scott McKenna may have been linked with Celtic in the summer, but before this game he announced he’d signed a deal with Trump International instead. A bold choice when you consider how popular Trump is in Aberdeen (not very) and also the world (not very).
This fixture is normally a bit of a goal-fest, with the last match between the two sides being a 3-4 Celtic win, but I put a bet on both teams to score, so it’s the first goalless draw since 1994.
Highlights.


Motherwell	3 - 0	Hamilton Academical

The two previous Lanarkshire derbies have been fiercely competitive, with Hamilton victorious when visiting Fir Park, and Motherwell taking the 3 points from the Hope CBD.
This game, however, was all but over in 10 minutes, with a David Turnbull brace putting daylight between the two teams, before Jake Hastie finished Accies off 25 minutes later.
Highlights.

Monday 11/03/19


St Mirren	0 - 1	Kilmarnock

Sickener for St Mirren, but an 87th minute goal from Liam Millar has ended Kilmarnock’s rotten run of 8 games without a win.
Highlights.

Tuesday 12/03/19 - Quarter-final replays


Rangers	0 - 2	Aberdeen

In part three of the epic saga, Aberdeen fans somehow managed to smuggle a blow-up mattress into Ibrox before this match.; yet, despite his best efforts to play as dirty as possible, Morelos managed to break his personal best, and go 2 games in a row without being sent-off against Aberdeen this season.
Game plan executed to perfection for Aberdeen as Niall McGinn capitalised on a dodgy Glen Kamara pass, and Conor McLennan rounded the result off an hour later.
Highlights.


Hearts	2 - 1

Shortly after Hearts meandered to a 1-1 draw with Thistle in the original fixture, their reserve team pumped Thistle’s 9-1, as if to rub salt into the wound.
Hearts went behind to a tap-in from Scott McDonald, but goals from Uche Ikpeazu and Sean Clare were the difference in the end.
Highlights.

Saturday 16/03/19


Hamilton Academical	1 - 0	Hearts

Sad news for Scottish football, after it was revealed that the Hope CBD Stadium, so-called after a cannabis oil company purchased the naming rights to New Douglas Park, would be renamed after just 6 months to the even more eccentric “Fountain of Youth Stadium”. This all comes after they were randomly disrespected by Lord Sugar on Twitter. Tough times to be an Accies fan for sure.
All of this was not enough to prevent Accies from getting one over Hearts, though, with Aaron McGowan’s goal the difference between the two sides.
This result also validates the first words in four months from 22 year old stroke victim Darren Thompson - “Hearts are shite.”
Highlights.


Aberdeen	1 - 1	Livingston

Another astonishingly insipid home performance from Aberdeen and possibly the coldest I’ve ever been at a football match.
Highlights.


Hibernian	2 - 0	Motherwell

Unfortunately ‘due to technical issues’ Hibs were unable to serve chips at Easter Road for this game.. Annoyingly, neither of Marc McNulty or David Gray’s goals were dinked over the keeper, as Hibs put some much-needed distance between themselves and an in-form Motherwell side.
Highlights.


Rangers	1 - 1	Kilmarnock

Before this match Rangers fans took to the offices of BBC Scotland in protest (I’m assuming?) against the unfair treatment they get on Sportscene.
Kilmarnock went ahead through Conor McAleny, who replaced an injured Eamonn Brophy, but Alfredo Morelos was able to equalise. Neither side will be entirely content with a draw, I feel.
Highlights.

Sunday 17/03/19


Dundee	0 - 1	Celtic

If you’re not willing to wait 96 minutes for goals, there was at least some entertainment in this game, as a man jumped down off one of the stands to chase after his tricolour that had just been confiscated by a steward.
If you do like waiting 96 minutes for your goals, then you were in luck, as that’s how long it took Odsonne Edouard to break the deadlock. No damage yet to Celtic’s plot armour.
Highlights.

Thursday 21/03/19

European Championship Qualifying


Kazakhstan	3 - 0	Scotland

All in all a very bad week for the Scottish men’s national football team. First we get absolutely done by the Northern Irish FA on twitter, and then we go on to get absolutely humiliated by Kazakhstan in our first qualifier. God help us.
Alex McLeish did remark that we started brightly, which is funny considering that we were 2-0 down within 10 minutes. There’s also this weird interview with Graeme Jones where he explains why the squad decided not to try to adjust to the different time-zones. Not sure the priorities are quite right in the Scotland camp.
The only highlight of the game as far as I’m concerned is when Sky lost pictures from Astana, but if you really want to see us get absolutely outclassed, then you can do so here.

Saturday 23/03/19

Scottish Challenge Cup


Connah’s Quay Nomads	1 - 3	Ross County

After a player of the round performance from Ross Stewart gave us the most Scottish photoshoot ever - without featuring a kilt or bagpipes - and helped Ross County into the Challenge Cup final, the country of Scotland could put their international misery behind them for a day to watch a Welsh team almost win the final of a Scottish cup competition.
The Nomads went ahead thanks to Michael Bakare 20 minutes in; it took until the 75th minute for County to turn it around. A quickfire double from Josh Mullin gave the Staggies the lead, before Jamie Lindsay secured what may not be Ross County’s last silverware of the season - they look likely to return to the Premiership as Champions.
Highlights.

Sunday 24/03/19


San Marino	0 - 2	Scotland

Where were you when Scotland went 70 minutes without scoring in San Marino? Would you like to experience it all over again? From Kenny McLean’s 4th minute opener, Johnny Russell’s almost-disappointing second goal, and that one moment where they got round the keeper and we actually thought they might score - relive it all here!
Finally, we continue with some action that actually happened this week.

Wednesday 27/03/19


St Johnstone	1 - 0	St Mirren

In the context of the whole season this doesn’t look like a bad result at all, but St Mirren will feel this is an awful point or three to drop.
The Buddies had the chance to go a goal ahead, but Simeon Jackson opted to try a weird panenka along the ground from his spot-kick, which Zander Clark had no trouble with. I mean it’s not as if it could all come down to one goal or one point for St Mirren at the end of the season, anyway.
Shortly after, Chris Kane put St Johnstone ahead by pouncing on a defensive error. Had Jackson’s penalty gone in, and the score remained the same, St Mirren would have been off the bottom before their must-win match against Dundee. They’ll be without Ethan Erhahon for that match after he was given a straight red for a poor tackle late in the match. Architects of their own downfall in this match, St Mirren.
Highlights.

Friday 29/03/19


Livingston	1 - 2	Hibernian

Livingston won’t have any worries of relegation, which is a miracle in itself considering how poor value they looked at the very beginning of the season. Meanwhile Hibs will have known that they could easily fall out of the top 6 with any missteps at this crucial point in the season.
Craig Halkett missed this match through an injury sustained prior to the game, and it was announced today he’d be leaving Livingston for Hearts at the end of the season - with this I reckon he’ll make the Scotland squad for the next series of international games.
In the end, goals from Paul Hanlon and Mark McNulty killed the game off in the space of 5 minutes, and Ryan Hardie’s late penalty was only a consolation for Livingston.
Highlights.

Saturday 30/03/19


St Mirren	2 - 1	Dundee

St Mirren may have been their own worst enemy in the middle of the week, but what a performance and result this is for them - and one which could well be fatal for Dundee.
Dundee went ahead after just 22 seconds through Ethan Robson, which could easily have destroyed any hopes St Mirren had of taking something out of the game, but Danny Mullen scored his third goal of the season - his third against Dundee - to reignite the Buddies’ hopes just 11 minutes later.
The winning goal came courtesy of speccy tube Brad Lyons, affording him the opportunity to premiere his speccy tube celebration in Saturday’s best exhibition of patter.
St Mirren leapfrog Dundee, and are looking much more likely to increase that gap at the moment than Dundee are to close it.
Highlights.


Motherwell	3 - 0	St Johnstone

This result confirms St Johnstone’s bottom 6 placement, and keeps Motherwell’s alive by a sliver.
Chris Cadden returning to the Motherwell bench will be a cause for optimism, and Motherwell looked improved when he came on, with Elliot Frear’s opener occurring 6 minutes after his substitution into the game, and David Turnbull doubling the lead 10 minutes later. Liam Craig had an early penalty saved for St Johnstone, and Richard Tait added a third to complete Saints’ capitulation in stoppage time.
Highlights.


Hearts	2 - 1	Aberdeen

Aberdeen remained without Shay Logan through injury, although he did pull on a kit for his stag do.
They went ahead thanks to Connor McLennan in the first half, but came out after the interval with apparently very little idea of how to play football. Sean Clare and Uche Ikpeazu got on the scoresheet to complete the Hearts comeback.
How it feels to be an Aberdeen fan right now can be summarised by Derek McInnes’ decision in the 86th minute to bring on centre-back Michael Devlin for our only dangerous attacker, Connor McLennan, in a Steven Caulker-esque move. I despair.
Highlights.


Kilmarnock	5 - 0	Hamilton

One of the most notable differences between Brian Rice’s Accies and his predecessor Martin Canning’s side is that Rice has set up much less defensively. As such, his side have been on the end of some right pumpings.
Highly-rated left-back prospect Greg Taylor scored his first ever goal for Kilmarnock, before a second half rout saw four other players on the scoresheet - Conor McAleny, Youssouf Mulumbu, Chris Burke, and Mikael Ndjoli.
This result means that Kilmarnock overtake Aberdeen into third, and will look to hold on to this European place. The job Steve Clarke has done is pretty incredible. Hamilton will be looking cautiously at St Mirren and Dundee beneath them.
Highlights.

Sunday 31/03/19


Celtic	2 - 1	Rangers

You already know how this one went down.
One man whose name shot up in the estimations of 95% of /soccer yesterday is a certain Scott Brown. The events of this match almost entirely revolved around him.
After Odsonne Édouard opened the scoring, the first notable incident involving Brown was the Celtic captain baiting Alfredo Morelos into elbowing him in the face, and laughing at him as he walked off back down the tunnel.
Ryan Kent levelled magically for Rangers, and Celtic too went down to 10 men after Dedryck Boyata went off-injured after their third sub.
When James Tavernier nonchalantly enabled James Forrest’s 86th-minute winner, Brown’s gameplaying saw him get punched in the face by Ryan Kent, which seems to have made both players more of a hero to each side.
Andy Halliday was then sent-off after trying to brawl in the tunnel, just before Brown gave a brilliant post-match interview where he claims not to remember what happened with Kent, and that the post-match scuffle with Halliday was just the Rangers man coming over to congratulate him.
All things considered, a good day for shithousing.
Highlights.
So after all that, the table looks as follows:

Table

Pos	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	Pts	Form
1	Celtic	31	23	4	4	69	17	+52	73	W W D W W
2	Rangers	31	17	9	5	67	24	+43	60	L D D W W
3	Kilmarnock	31	15	9	7	44	28	+16	54	W D W D L
4	Aberdeen	31	15	7	9	47	36	+11	52	L D D L W
5	Hearts	31	15	5	11	37	36	+1	50	W L W L D
6	Hibernian	31	13	9	9	47	33	+14	48	W W D W W
7	Motherwell	31	13	4	14	36	41	-5	43	W L W D L
8	St Johnstone	31	12	5	14	30	42	-12	41	L W L L L
9	Livingston	31	10	8	13	33	33	0	38	L D W L W
10	Hamilton Academical	31	7	3	20	20	66	-46	24	L W L W L
11	St Mirren	31	5	5	21	23	58	-35	20	W L W D D
12	Dundee	31	4	6	21	25	64	-39	18	L L L L L

Championship Round
Relegation Round
That was a lot so thanks for giving it a read. See yous next Monday for more of the same!
^{Check out /ScottishFootball for good patter and discussion of the SPFL}
^{Last week’s matches were rounded up}^here
^{● data from}^{soccerway.com}
^{● thanks mods for}^2soccer2bot ^{but it’s still broken}

Match Thread: Liverpool vs. Arsenal

Match Thread: Barclays Premier League - Chelsea FC vs. Swansea City FC [15:00 BST / 09:00 CDT / 10:00 EDT / 01:00 SEP 14 AEST]

Feminist Feary Pt 3: Conclusion

	Match Day 3
	Liverpool vs Arsenal
Kick-off:	Sunday, 2nd September 2012 13:30 BST (10:30pm Sydney, 5:30am West Coast, 8:30am East Coast, 8:30pm Singapore, 1)
Location:	Anfield, Liverpool
Referee:	Howard Webb. Matches: 1, Red 0, Yellow 3.
Television:	Fox Sports 1 (Australia), Highlights BBC UK, Sky Sports UK

Site	Links
LiveTV	Site
atdhe	Streams
FirstRow	check homepage
real-tv	Streams
vipbox	check homepage
rojadirecta	check homepage



	Liverpool
Manager	Brendan Rodgers
Formation	4-3-3
Injured	Lucas, Cole
Doubtful
EPL Form	LD

No.	Position	Player
25	GK	Pepe Reina
2	DF	Glen Johnson
3	DF	José Enrique
5	DF	Daniel Agger
37	DF	Martin Škrtel
4	MF	Nuri Şahin
24	MF	Joe Allen
8	MF	Steven Gerrard (C)
31	MF	Raheem Sterling
7	FW	Luis Suárez
29	FW	Fabio Borini

No.	Position	Player
1	GK	Brad Jones
14	MF	Jordan Henderson
16	DF	Sebastián Coates
19	MF	Stewart Downing
33	MF	Jonjo Shelvey
34	DF	Martin Kelly
23	DF	Jamie Carragher (VC)



	Arsenal
Manager	Arsene Wenger
Formation	4-3-3
Injured	Frimpong, Rosicki, Sagna, Wilshere
Doubtful	Szczesny
EPL Form	DD

No.	Position	Player
24	GK	Vito Mannone
25	DF	Carl Jenkinson
4	DF	Per Mertesacker
5	DF	Thomas Vermaelen (C)
28	DF	Kieran Gibbs
19	MF	Santi Cazorla
8	MF	Mikel Arteta (VC)
2	MF	Abou Diaby
15	FW	Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
9	FW	Lukas Podolski
12	FW	Olivier Giroud

No.	Position	Player
59	GK	Damian Martinez
6	DF	Laurent Koscielny
11	DF	André Santos
16	MF	Aaron Ramsey
22	MF	Francis Coquelin
27	FW	Gervinho
14	FW	Theo Walcott


Liverpool		Arsenal
0	Score	2
19(4)	Shots (on Goal)	11(5)
12	Fouls	7
10	Corner Kicks	2
3	Offsides	1
55%	Time of Possession	45%
2	Yellow Cards	2
0	Red Cards	0
3	Saves	4

Min
1'	Kick Off
6'	Yellow Card	Mertesacker (Arsenal)
26'	Yellow Card	Arteta (Arsenal)
31'	GOAL	Podolski - Arsenal
45'	Half Time
45'	Kick Off
47'	Yellow Card	Skrtel (Liverpool)
54'	Substitution	Borini off, Downing on (Liverpool)
65'	Substitution	Sahin off, Shelvey on (Liverpool)
67'	GOAL	Cazorla (Arsenal)
90'	Full Time	Arsenal win 2-0

#	Pos.	Name	Club
00	GK	Thibaut Courtois	Chelsea FC
02	DF	Branislav Ivanovic	Chelsea FC
24	DF	Gary Cahill	Chelsea FC
26	DF	John Terry	Chelsea FC	©
28	DF	Cesar Azpilicueta	Chelsea FC
21	MF	Nemanja Matic	Chelsea FC
04	MF	Cesc Fàbregas	Chelsea FC
14	MF	Andre Schurrle	Chelsea FC
08	MF	Oscar	Chelsea FC
10	MF	Eden Hazard	Chelsea FC
19	FW	Diego Costa	Chelsea FC

#	Pos.	Name	Club
01	GK	Petr Cech	Chelsea FC
03	DF	Filipe Luis	Chelsea FC
05	DF	Kurt Zouma	Chelsea FC
07	MF	Ramires	Chelsea FC
17	MF	Mohamed Salah	Chelsea FC
18	FW	Loïc Remy	Chelsea FC
22	MF	Willian	Chelsea FC

#	Pos.	Name	Club
01	GK	Fabianski	Swansea City FC
03	DF	Taylor	Swansea City FC
06	DF	Williams	Swansea City FC	©
22	DF	Rangel	Swansea City FC
02	DF	Amat	Swansea City FC
15	MF	Routledge	Swansea City FC
08	MF	Shelvey	Swansea City FC
23	MF	Sigurdsson	Swansea City FC
04	MF	Ki Sung-yueng	Swansea City FC
12	FW	Dyer	Swansea City FC
18	FW	Gomis	Swansea City FC

#	Pos.	Name	Club
10	FW	Bony	Swansea City FC
11	FW	Emnes	Swansea City FC
14	MF	Carroll	Swansea City FC
19	DF	Tiendalli	Swansea City FC
20	MF	Montero	Swansea City FC
25	GK	Tremmel	Swansea City FC
33	DF	Fernández	Swansea City FC

Conclusion...
So, after such a long rant you might be asking; "How can I possibly say that I am a feminist, to some extent?" To which I would say (which I was going to explain, before you so rudely interrupted with your disingenuous question): Well, I do agree with the basic core principle of feminism and I do think it points out issues that we would otherwise have little knowledge off. I believe that as a lense (while it can only reveal part of the truth) it can still provide a unique insight on some issues that another perspective might miss. I would like feminism to survive in some form and I do think social sciences can be a benefit for finding the truth and developing measures to benefit society. The problem is that the underlying ideology is causing far more problems than it is solving and I do think it is dangerous. It is held up by bad readings of science, that are parroted in the media. Left to its own devices, it is exactly the kind of ideology that both encourages true believers and an us vs them mentality. It bares all the hallmarks of an ideology that will encourage purity spirals (who is the most virtuous by their oppression) and will trend toward death and destruction. I want to make it clear. I am not fearful, I don't think we have "to act before they get the chance to pull it off" or anything. I just think that unvetted, this is the sort of conclusion it would spiral toward. Thankfully, I think that it is losing steam as an ideology and is in it's death throws. At this point, there is enough resistance against it that in order to get to that point they would still need to get into a position of political power and the system would have to allow for authoritarian control. I want to like Feminism but (as long as it subscribes to Patriarchy and Intersectionality), I can spare no quarter. Allow me to demonstrate why I think it is this kind of ideology. So if we look at how propaganda has been used (effectively) before. Let's start by taking a real world example of propaganda that led to genocide:

There were two primary types of portrayal of the Jews that were oddly at contrast, but aimed at achieving the same objective. Jews were either portrayed as seedy, degenerate, ugly, masses associated with vermin, or they were portrayed as greedy, fat, and unpleasant elements who sided with the enemy.
By picking only relatively unpleasant looking Jewish attributes, and by choosing to portray Jews in only an unpleasant manner, the Nazis applied Selection Bias to elicit several other cascading biases. By taking advantage of the Negativity Bias inherent human nature, wherein we pay more attention to negative images, the Nazis succeeded in associating Jews with those unpleasant mental images. This created a Clustering Illusion, where people were conditioned to see unpleasantness in the Jewish population when there was none present. This, in turn, created an environment of Self-Serving Bias of behavioural confirmation, where all responsibility for the success of Nazi Germany was claimed by the Germans, and the blame for all failures were laid on the Jewish population.

I will be combining this with the 10 stages of genocide, and how I think it is relevant. I know this isn't perfect, and it doesn't necessarily follow this structure exactly. Not to mention, just because I think this rhetoric is similar to rhetoric that has led to mass death before it doesn't mean I think this is actually what is happening now. I just think it's a similar tribal mind set to previous hateful ideologies. So individual (feminist) idealist just think they are working toward a better society, but it is an ideology ripe for abuse and it will attract opportunists looking to consolidate power. This is not me saying that feminists are bad people. In fact, I think they're quite empathetic and most follow this ideology out of desire to help the world, not hate on men. What they don't realise is the ideology is inherently against men. Also, empathy is not all good as Feminism claims. Where I have already demonstrated that we have our biases, our empathy is also selective and sometimes when we empathise we can miss the bigger picture (and stop reasoning objectively), and fail to show compassion to other's suffering that doesn't fit within our empathetic framework. This is no one's fault, this is like all emotions. For instance, people may react more favourably to a friend saying something than someone they dislike or don't know. It's because there are people who we are more willing to afford empathy to based on our own mind sets. I'm not saying empathy is inherently dangerous, but it isn't inherently good either and can be used to justify evil actions. So this is not hating on feminists, but it is attempting to point out why the underlying ideology of patriarchy/intersectionality is a dangerous mind set (and empathy doesn't guard against that). So let's start with the framing of the other, we have some weird dichotomous theories going on at the moment:
1) White males are the dangers we don't see at home (and are the majority of extremists):

Crimes like these are happening in a broader context of white male extremists committing far-right attacks. A new report from the Anti-Defamation League finds: “In 2018, domestic extremists killed at least 50 people in the US, a sharp increase from the 37 extremist-related murders documented in 2017.” That makes last year “the fourth-deadliest year on record for domestic extremist-related killings since 1970”. What’s more, “every single extremist killing – from Pittsburgh to Parkland – had a link to right-wing extremism.”’

I have issue with the ADL report, it is very loose as to what it defines as right wing (the key word in this statement is link). This is hyperbolic and impossible to determine, often we can point to things we see as right wing (even though we're all less familiar with other people's opinions than we think). Let's take a few individuals that make up part of that fifty: Scott Paul Beierle - shot up a yoga studio - no clear right wing motive, Jeremy Shaw - plot to take over a home - no clear right wing motive, Richard Starry - shot and killed four relatives at a local nursing centre then killed himself- no clear right wing motive. Also the breakdown of mass shootings (percentage wise) is similar to the ethnic breakdown of people (percentage wise) by population. Here's a picture of all the mass shooters in 2019. So here's the rub with this type of ideology. I would go into more detail, but even if the above were true white people by demographic of population are not more likely to commit a mass shooting, there is just more of them. This is referenced in the report itself: "Ideological motives appear to have played a primary or secondary role in 19 of the 50 extremist murders (38%) in 2018". So when they say "right-wing", how would this logic relate to some shooters that could be argued to be "left-wing extremists". Is it a direct link, like Willem Van Spronsen who had a manifesto detailing his left-wing views, or does it happen to be along the same vein as the Dayton Ohio shooter, who people say is a left wing extremist just because he happens to have leftist views on his Twitter feed, which is less clear. I don't trust either side to give a fair breakdown. Even if it were true, just because a group is over represented in violence doesn't mean that the majority of that group commits violence. This is an ecological fallacy. But the point is, it ends in white men being feared, this is the clustering effect mentioned above. This is driven by articles like this: [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8].
2) White males (men) are incompetent/weak/emotionally inferioLazy etc:

So on this, International Women's Day, let's do some score taking. What are the ladies winning at? A lot, it seems.

So (I say so a lot), I have already put emphasis on the changing social dynamics between perceptions of men and women and have demonstrated the differences between them. I don't think I need to go into too much detail. This is where the dichotomy comes in, but they achieve the same results. Men have to be stopped because they are dangerous have formed a Patriarchy to oppress women, which has lead to war but they're also extremely incompetent and women would do everything better. It seems contradictory, but it isn't that. They actually compliment each other, as even though men have oppressed women (and continue to do so), they have still managed to fuck it up so much that we need to stop them before they destroy everything. The end result is the same. Here's some articles (and they are just sexist, even if the author doesn't realise it): Men are lazy, the men at the top are mediocre due to their "socialised" traits being seen as better due to "socialisation" (it's not that traits like industriousness and disagreeableness are highly linked to success in both men and women, no./s), how women would stop war if they ruled the world, how the term mansplaining isn't sexist as men are more competitive and aggressive (men are like this to each other as well, as demonstrated above) in their ideals through "socialisation" and are privileged along the oppressed/oppressor dynamic, women are smarter than men, women are the superior gender. It goes on and on and on. This is modern day propaganda, it fits the definition perfectly. The only differences I can see is that this works from social determinism (where previous ideologies spread from biological determinism) and it's target is Cis White Heterosexual Men. Easy to miss if you're not following it, but pervasive enough that people will repeat these talking points without realising. This is how the most effective propaganda works. Fear and tribalism, constant exposure and suppression of other ideas. This time it's being done through labelling anyone who disagrees as sexist. Now I have explained the basis for my thoughts, I will now explain how we have taken steps toward that point (at least the first six stages):
1) Classification - The implementation of Patriarchy the "Us vs Them". White men have built these power structures and are excluding women. The patriarchy supports men more and is responsible for violence and death (especially against women and minorities). This must be stopped.
2) Symbolisation - Mansplaining, manspreading, criminality, men are inherently misandrist and violent (or socialised to be). The symbolism is the masculine traits. They're codified as part of the problem because some individuals take those traits too far.
3) Discrimination - This adds to the propaganda and adds to the rhetoric and if anyone were to disagree with these discriminatory practices, it is only because they are against women and insecure about losing their privileges (which the vast majority of men don't even recognise, and the ones at the top probably don't care. They're already in power), rather than people being concerned about the possible social, economic and moral implications of doing so. I mentioned affirmative action, there's also diversity quotas in offices and the recent push for white people to resign from the Democrat party (where, to be fair, this rhetoric is rampant with Democrat leaders) [1][2].
4) Dehumanisation - This is there. Sexism is portrayed as this great evil that only men are guilty for. And you can't be racist toward white people as a black person either. The evil is reserved for the oppressor group, and it is their actions that have created the horrors in the (western and wider) world that we see today. This creates a Self-Serving bias where all the bad actions of men are considered a part of patriarchy and so must be addressed but all bad actions by women are as a result of patriarchy and the way to addressing them is by focusing on the bad actions of men. Violent women just have internalised misogyny. All responsibility for the success of Women is claimed by the Feminism, and the blame for all failures are due to the male dominated Patriarchy. Sound familiar? At this stage as well, you have dehumanisation of anyone who even moderately fits these (perceived or otherwise) unfavourable characteristics. The wrong targets can and will be attacked, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or people who they've previously heralded, they recently went on an attack against Obama in the debates. Or "fascist sympathisers" who somehow support fascist and bigoted principles even though they are Vietnamese and Gay. The dehumanisation always spreads, and always escalates.
5) Organisation - Can't prove this one. I doubt I'd be able to even if it was true. I would bet money there are some opportunists out there waiting to make this a reality though, but these would be so few and far between.
6) Polarisation - Demonstrated already, hate spreads and it becomes more and more acceptable to hate white men. This is as far as we've got, I doubt it will go further. Whilst I believe feminism has power, it would actually need to get official government power before it would even get past this point and just because an ideology trends toward extreme action, it doesn't mean it will get therr. I guess I'm trying to say, I'm not scared of feminism but accusations of it being a ideology prone toward mass death do hold some weight. This is my summary:
Feminism does have some basis in truth but this is irrelevant - this ignores why extreme rhetoric is dangerous in the first place. (The truth of it is irrelevant, but the framing of the truth isn't). The reason why generalisations are extreme is not because they are inherently untrue (they usually are) but because they ignore other (true) variables (in other words, individual differences) in defence of this higher truth. All in the name of creating a utopian society (dismantling Patriarchy will ensure equality for women/minorities). This encourages a pathological fixation on it, where people who feel like their life is out of control will use this to try and resolve their issues (and gravitate toward more extreme measures in taking control). It all becomes about defeating the patriarchy, and any measure is good because of how ubiquitous it is in society. But what happens when their ideas of dismantling oppression don't work (which they won't if they're wrong in their assumptions about Patriarchy). What happens when we don't get more women in STEM? Where is the end point? If it's due to oppression, then what methods would eventually be justified in stopping it? Would it be because men are refusing to relinquish power? Will Feminism at this point stop, or would it double down and push harder? I believe that this is the exact kind of rhetoric that trends more towards extremism overtime as people get more desperate and confident that their actions are correct. There is no easy fix to the issues facing men, women or any minority today. Modern day Feminism is in a poor state to resolve them. Its manipulative rhetoric that radicalises people (who are likely struggling with mental health issues, because it is the perfect ideology to play on our negative emotions -using negativity bias, and half-truths). It turns their own pain against them. It doesn't matter if this is being done on purpose or not, in my opinion the end result will be the same (if left to progress to its logical conclusion). Feminism is what I would call a new age religion (Communism/Nazism being other examples), which doesn't rely on theism but has it's own moral structures in place. This has convinced me that the religious mode of thought is innate within humanity. You can get rid of the religion, but you can't get rid of the thought process that led us to these conclusions in the first place. It's devil is the Patriarchy, it's original sin is toxic masculinity, the holy scriptures are works by Bell Hooks, Judith Butler, Germaine Greer etc, it's heretics are anyone with the "white male" perspective. (I'm not religious but) I actually prefer theistic religion. Religion had many problems, but at least it had rules of how decent humans should treat each other (well toward women and minorities it does, but does not extend this courtesy to proponents outside its belief structure). There is no escape from the outrage mob, a person can apologise but they will still be dragged through the coals. And this is its most egregious flaw, it has all the framework of religion but does not have the path to redemption to temper it. Where does that end?
That's it, if you've made it this far... Well done! Let me know what you think. Am I right/wrong? What am I missing? Feel free to insult me, but I feel the need to give a fair warning... It might hurt my feelings. Please leave thoughts and comments below. All are welcome here.

January Transfer Megathread

Hey all, u/shoecat again with this winter’s transfer megathread. Same deal as the summer thread, still copying the same format (thanks to lgfualol and company).

New Contracts

First Team

Player	Position	Length	Info

None so far

Professional Contracts Signed (Youth)

Player	Position	Info

Players In - Permanent

Player	Position	Age	Nation	From	Fee	Contract	Info
Adrien Silva	CM	28	Portugal	Sporting	£22m	?	? (this was a bizarre transfer, so it's hard to find a good source on it)
Fousseni Diabate	Striker	22	Mali	Gazelec Ajaccio	£2m	4 and a half years	Info

Players In - Loan

Player	Age	Position	From	Length	Info

None so far

Players In - Returning from Loan

Player	Age	Position	From	Loan Length	Info
Harvey Barnes	20	CM	Barnsley	1 year - Recalled	Link

Players Out - Permanent

Player	Age	Position	To	Fee	Info

None so far

Players Out - Loan

Player	Age	Position	To	Length	Info
Ahmed Musa	25	Striker	CSKA Moscow	Until end of Season	[Link](https://www.lcfc.com/news/605466/cska-moscow-loan-for-ahmed-musa/press-release
Leo Ulloa	31	Striker	Brighton and Hove Albion	Until end of Season	Link

Players Out - Released By Club

Player	Age	Position	Senior Apps

Transfer Speculation!

I’m going to do my best to stick to good sources, but call me out if I post something from a shifty place and I’ll take it down or find it from a better source

December 28th and prior

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	We will just have to wait and see if Puel was able to “seduce” Mahrez or not, but Arsenal seem to be, as ever, readying an improved bid on the winger.	Link
Andre Almeida	With Simpson out for at least 5 weeks, the Portugal and Benfica right back would be a perfect signing to make.	Link
Islam Slimani	It’s the Daily Mail reporting so take this as you will, but they believe that Newcastle will make a move for Slimani in January.	Link
Yohan Benalouane	There are reportedly “a number of Italian teams” interested in Bena. I say let him go.	Link

December 31st (Happy New Year foxes!)

Player	Rumour	Source
Glen Johnson	The out of favor Stoke right back has been linked with us as possible back up for Danny Simpson. What does this mean for Almeida? I guess we will wait and see.	Link

January 2nd

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Chelsea are apparently considering the Algerian as they prepare to fight for second place	Link
Jonny Castro	Leicester are looking at the Celta Vigo and Spanish u21 right back as an option.	Link
Islam Slimani	Watford are "confident" in being able to beat Newcastle in the race for the Algerian striker. Turkish side Besitkas also are interested in the striker.	Link 1 Link 2
Kieran Trippier	BBC Radio Leicester say Leicester City have inquired about the Spurs right back	u/highelf04

January 3rd

Player	Rumour	Source
Islam Slimani	Newcastle have reportedly requested Slimani join on a loan	Clubcall
Daniel Opare	As the hunt continues, Leicester eye the Augsburg and Ghana right back while Simpson recovers from injury	Clubcall READBundesliga Mercury
Hatem Ben Arfa	According to his lawyer, Ben Arfa is happy to wait around until summer to move from PSG	Mercury Sport Witness
Andre Almeida	Benfica are reportedly demanding €15m for the right back as they look to find a replacement, should he leave	Sport Witness

January 4th

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Puel says that Mahrez is happy to stay. I could bleach my hair and pray to Mecca if he stays	Mercury
Wilfred Ndidi	I feel like I might as well not post this, but an unnamed source claims that an unnamed club have made a concrete offer for the Nigerian, but he is believed to be happy and not expected to move.	All Nigeria Soccer
Islam Slimani	Besiktas are set to ready a bid for the Algerian striker after selling Cenk Tosun to Everton	Mercury
Ahmed Musa	Turkish side Buraspor are reportedly interested in the Nigerian striker, and I'm sure he would be interested in finding some minutes before the World Cup.	All Nigeria Soccer

January 5th

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Liverpool have contacted Leicester and stated that they are not interested in Mahrez	u/fksari
Fousseni Diabate	Leicester have started talks over the 22 year old Mali striker.	Mercury

January 10th

Player	Rumour	Source
Leo Ulloa, Daniel Amartey	Seems Villa want to get a loan deal for Ulloa and Amartey	Mercury
Michael Tweed	The non league youngster is turning heads with the likes of Leicester and Villa watching. He is a midfielder who breaks up play and launches attacks from deep.	Coventry Telegraph
Riyad Mahrez	Death, taxes, rumours of Mahrez going to Arsenal each and every transfer window.	Arsenalfc Blog
Fousseni Diabate	The Malian forward/wingeattacking midfielder has all but been confirmed. French media report around 2 million euroson a 4 and a half year deal for the 22 year old.	Mercury

Sorry I've haven't been as on top of this as I was in the summer. Thank you to everyone posting things in the comments, you are the real MVPs! I'll try to be more active with this for the rest of the window.

January 12th

Player	Rumour	Source
Jamie Vardy	United are reportedly looking to give Lukaku competition. Seems doubtful though.	Sportsmole

January 15th

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Puel has said that Mahrez is not leaving this window, and that he could be worth over £100 million in the summer, if he were to leave	ESPN FC Vital Football
Bouna Sarr	Puel is reportedly interested in the Marseilles right winger, who can also fill in at right back, in an attempt to strengthen the right flank.	Sports Mole
Ahmed Musa	West Brom are looking to sign the Nigerian strikewinger this January in an attempt to strengthen their attack.	Read West Brom

January 23rd

Player	Rumour	Source
Almamy Toure	Leicester are interested in the young Monaco right back if the deal with Bouna Sarr doesn't go through	Mercury
Islam Slimani	Chelsea have reportedly made an inquiry about Slimani, and they may be interested in a loan deal	Mercury
Boubakary Soumare	The Lille midfielder is turning heads, including Leicester, Manchester City, and Everton. He has been dubbed the "new Paul Pogba"	Mercury
Yohan Benalouane	Rennes are interested in signing the defender according to reports in France	Mercury

January 30th

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Doubtful. City have yet to place a bid but there are reports of a potential 60 million bid coming. Leicester have reportedly told City that it would take something "mind blowing" to sign everyone's favourite Algerian.	Mercury Guardian
Islam Slimani	Newcastle are reportedly in for Slimani, but it seems Leicester are more interested in sending him abroad with Monaco showing interest as well.	This Is Futbol
Andy King	King is the man of the moment apparently, with Middlesbrough, Sunderland, Sheffield United and Bristol City all eyeing the midfielder on a loan deal.	Daily Mail

Sky Bet Transfer Odds

I thought it might be interesting to keep tabs on Leicester's odds on signing people, so below I'm including a table to show the Sky Bet transfer specials that we are a part of.
Last Update:
30/1/18

Players In

Player	Position	Age	Current Team	Leicester's Odds	Change	Favorites	Change
Andre Schuerrle	Striker	27	Borussia Dortmund	25/1	-	Borussia Dortmund - 4/7	Up from 4/11
Steven N’Zonzi	Defencive Midfield	29	Sevilla	33/1	Up from 25/1	Sevilla - 1/7	Down from 1/3
Wilfried Zaha	Right Wing	25	Crystal Palace	33/1	Up from 28/1	Crystal Palace - 1/40	Down from 1/25

Players Out

Player	Position	Age	Odds to Stay	Change	Favorites to Sign (excluding Leicester)	Change
Jamie Vardy	Striker	30	1/33	Down from 1/10	Everton - 10/1	Up from 7/1
Riyad Mahrez	Right Wing	26	5/6	Up from 1/5	Manchester City - 10/11	Down from 9/2
Islam Slimani	Striker	29	4/7	Down from 8/11	Monaco - 7/2	Up from 5/2

Let me know any updates I can make and the like. Thanks!

[Pre Match Thread] Manchester City Vs. Arsenal

Manchester CityVS Arsenal
My first time doing this so excuse me my inevitable mistakes and PM me so I can fix.

MATCH INFO

Competition: Barclays Premier League (League Table)
Venue: Etihad Stadium
Kick off: 16:00 local time
Referee: Mike Dean
TV times: Find your television station here

League form

Manchester City go into today's game boasting the 2^nd best form in the league with 14 points out of a possible 18, only the Saints have performed better over the past 6 games. Arsenal on the other hand are close behind with 13 out of a possible 18, but it's on the road were recently Arsenal haven't looked like their usual impressive selves, only being able to amass 7 points from their last 6 league games. Meanwhile at home City have only lost once this season with a shock defeat to Stoke 3 games deep into the league. So this is a game with a team with a recently shaky away record visiting the fortress that is the Etihad with City proving virtually unstoppable. But this is the Premier League, form very rarely matters.
: W W W D W D
: W D W W L W
Previous league meetings: 1-1 2-0 6-3 1-1 2-2 0-0
Manchester City are unbeaten in their last 6 league games against Arsenal, although they did lose in the Community Shield to Arsenal at Wembley back in August 3-0. Pellegrini defended that loss by stating that he believed the lack of several first team members due to injury and lack of fitness had a negative effect on the Citizens. In September, Arsenal managed to hold the defending champions to a 2-2 draw at the Emirates which Wenger believes proves the Gunners can match Manchester City on the same pitch, but playing at the Etihad stadium is not an easy task as we'll see below.

Last corresponding meeting

The last time Arsenal visited the Etihad they were the subject to a 6-3 humiliating loss at the hands of Manchester City. Wenger believes this result will have no effect on today's game;

It [6-3] was not at all [a reflection of the game], if you look at the chances on both sides. They scored some of the goals in the last 20 minutes, when we were down to 10 men and had to go forward. We missed chances over there. Every game is different though. If you play 10 times against the same team, 10 times it will be different. So let’s just focus on the performance of the day. - Wenger


Man. City	6-3	Arsenal
'13 1-0 Aguero		'31 1-1 Walcott
'38 2-1 Negredo
'50 3-1 Fernandinho
		'63 3-2 Walcott
'65 4-2 Silva
'87 5-2 Fernandinho		'94 5-3 Mertesacker
'95 6-3 Toure (p)

^Thanks ^to ^FredSports ^for ^the ^GIFS. ^{^RIP}

Team News

- Arsenal are likely to be boosting in attack this game with the return of Walcott and Ozil after coming off the bench in the second half against Stoke City in their 3-0 win last game. It is also being reported that Gibbs is likely to make his return against City. Chambers has recovered from his illness and could also feature. According to this tweet, Wenger has named new signing Krystian Bielik in the squad.
Arsenal will definitely be without; Welbeck (thigh), Debuchy (shoulder), Arteta (ankle), Gnabry (knee), and Diaby (diabism). And luckily for Manchester City fans they will be pleased to know that they will be protected from any obscenity from Wilshere this game with the Englishman also reported to be out with an ankle injury.
- Manchester City will have Aguero and Kompany back fit and possibly playing today with them both making the substitutes bench against Everton in their 1-1 draw at Goodison. Dzeko has also been declared fit by Pellegrini.
Former Gunner Nasri is out with a calf injury suffered in training this week and is expected to be out for 3-4 weeks. Yaya Toure will also miss the game today due to international duty with the Ivory Coast.

Starting 11

- Hart, Zabaleta, Kompany (C), Demichelis, Clichy, Fernandinho, Fernando, Navas, Silva, Milner, Aguero.
Subs - Caballero, Mangala, Sagna, Kolarov, Lampard, Jovetic, Dzeko
- Ospina, Bellerin, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal, Coquelin, Ramsey, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Cazorla, Alexis, Giroud
Subs - Szczesny, Gibbs, Chambers, Flamini, Rosicky, Ozil, Walcott

The managers speak

Wenger:

"You have many games when you know you will be judged on your potential," he said. "Manchester City is one of them. Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool are other games that people have a close eye on to judge your potential. "The history will not play a big part in this game. It's the performance of the day that will play the biggest part and the only important part. "I believe we have consistency. Last year, we did not win the championship only for that reason. We did not perform in the top games away from home. "I believe we have the potential now to be much more stable and to show that we can do it." "For many years [our record in the biggest games] was our strength and, in the last two years, it is true that it has been a weakness. I think we are mature enough now to rectify it."

Pellegrini on Sanchez:

"I think Alexis is a very good player," the City manager said of his Chilean compatriot, who scored twice against Stoke City last weekend to take his tally of Barclays Premier League goals to 12. "He is having a very good season in England. It is not easy for a player in his first season here to score so many goals. "Alexis is repeating what he did in the last two seasons at Barcelona and scoring a lot of goals. "I am very happy for him because he is a young player and very enthusiastic player and improving."

Match Stats from Opta

The last seven Barclays Premier League games between Manchester City and Arsenal at the Etihad Stadium have seen 28 goals scored.
Alexis Sanchez has been involved in more goals (19 – 12 goals and seven assists) than any other player in the Premier League this season.
There have been six red cards in the last nine Premier League matches between these two sides.
Arsenal’s away form this season is patchy with four wins, four defeats and three draws in their 11 Premier League road trips.
In contrast, City’s home form under Manuel Pellegrini has been impressive with 25 wins from 29 Premier League games under his stewardship at the Etihad Stadium (W25 D2 L2).
Arsenal are the only team to score three goals at the Etihad in a Premier League game during Manuel Pellegrini’s reign – but this was in a 3-6 defeat.
Only Chelsea (11) have won more Premier League games away at Manchester City than Arsenal (10).
Manchester City are unbeaten in their last 12 Premier League matches (W9 D3 L0).
Only West Ham (14) have scored more headed goals than the Gunners this season (8).
Manchester City have conceded at least two goals in each of their last two Premier League home games. They haven’t shipped two or more goals in three consecutive home Premier League games since October 2002.

Betting odds:
Manchester City 5/6, Draw 11/4, Arsenal 10/3.
/Gunners
/MCFC
BBC preview
Sky Sports preview
Independent preview
Telegraph preview
FourFourTwo preview
Premier league preview

Transfer deadline day thread (updates inside)

Live Chat

Come and join us:
[http://live-news.appspot.com/]
we are all sitting in helicopters following the news

Rumors

Kun to Spurs (Mirror)
LLorente to Spurs (Goal)
Torres to Chelsea (BBC, Mirror)
Liverpool linked to Young, Carroll, Adam (Soccernet, Guardian)

Completed Transfers

Player	From	To	Price
Paulo Da Silva	Sunderland	Zaragoza
Paul Konchesky	Liverpool	Forrest	Loan
Adriano Basso	Free	Wolves	-
Andy Reid	Sunderland	Blackpool	-
Jacob Mellis	Chelsea	Barnsley	Loan
David Gonzalez	Man City	Leeds	Loan
Obafemi Martins	Rubin Kazan	Birmingham	Loan
Cameron Stewart	Man Utd	Hull	-
Connor Thomas	Coventry	Liverpool	Loan to Buy
Castaignos	Feyenoord	Inter	-
Andy Carroll	Newcastle	Liverpool	35M+
Luis Suarez	Ajax	Liverpool	24M
El Hadji Diouf	Blackburn	Rangers	-
Stephen Ireland	Aston Villa	Newcastle	Loan
Ruben Rochina	Barcelona	Blackburn	Unk.
Giuseppe Mascara	Catania	Napoli	-
Xisco	Newcastle	Deportivo
Tuncay	Stoke	Wolfsburg
Daniel Sturidge	Chelsea	Bolton
Fernando Torress	Liverpool	Chelsea	50M
Giovanni dos Santos	Tottenham	Racing Santander	Loan
Eidur Gudjohnsen	Stoke	Fulham	Loan
David Luiz	Benfica	Chelsea	22M+

News

Time	Headline	Source
8am	Zaragoza have signed defender Paulo da Silva from Sunderland	Goal
9am	Paul Konchesky has been loaned from Liverpool to Nottingham Forrest	LFC
10am	All the live blogs and Twitter exploded with the reddit thread about Torres image removal on LFC. We are famous!	Everywhere
1050	Guardian live blog reports Warnock loan move from Aston Villa to Liverpool near completion	Guardian
1055	Stephen Ireland loan move to Newcastle complete	Soccernet
1100	"club sources" tell Soccernet that no new offer for Torres has been tabled	Soccernet
1100	"Looks like Aston Villa are getting closer to announcing capture of Borussia Monchengladbach's Michael Bradley"	BBC
1135	Charlton have signed Fredrico Bessone on loan from Leeds (yawn)	Soccernet
1135	Lots of rumor that Liverpool definitely bid 30M for Carroll this morning
1137	25M pound Andy Carroll bid from LFC has been confirmed on Sky	Sky News
1140	LFC official on Torres and Suarez (Suarez official, Torres no comment	LFC
1141	Harry Rednapp tells Sky that Kranjcar and Woodgate will not be leaving	Sky
1145	Villa say Young is not for sale, not even for 20M+	Guardian
1230	Newcastle have delayed their press conference. Speculation on Carroll news	Soccernet
1230	Nicola Legrottaglie has just signed a contract with Milan	Soccernet
1230	Various on Twitter claim Torres deal is now done	Twitter
1235	Bolton set to sign Sturridge from Chelsea (no LFC?)	Sky
1240	Twitter rumors from what some say is inside Liverpool say Comolli and team targetting 'at least two' transfers to be completed today	Twitter
1240	Fernando Torres has left Melwood in a helicopter	Mirror
1240	Reports that Newcastle snubbed the 25M pound offer from LFC for Carroll	Mirror
1240	Torres to Chelsea by end of today just dropped to $1.05 on betting sites I checked
1240	"Various reports suggesting that Liverpool have also failed in a bid for Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez. All quiet on the Charlie Adam front."	BBC
1240	Other transfer betting odds: Carroll to Liverpool - $1.20, Charlie Adam to LFC - $1.50, Kun to Chelsea - $2 (?), Young to LFC - $2	Betting
1243	Picture of Torres arriving at Melwood	Soccernet
1245	Still over 10 hours to go in this window. Setting up to be a cracker. If you aren't familiar with it, a lot of deals get done very late in the day	note
1246	Real Madrid are rejecting loan bids for Benzema (from Juventus and others)	Soccernet
1250	Tottenham have bid for Forlan	Marca (spanish)
0100	The LFC Carroll bid has either been rejected or is in negotiations, depending on who you read
0100	Apparently Tottenham are determined to land a striker today. Bids for Kun, Llorente and now Forlan	multiple
0100	Obafemi Martins has been granted a work permit to move to Birmingham, which likely means that Zigic will be on his way out today	Mirror
0100	BBC rightly reports that a lot of other transfers are waiting on Liverpool - ie. Torres deal then the LFC deals, then other deals at other clubs	BBC
0110	"Aston Villa boss Gerard Houllier has revealed US midfielder Michael Bradley is undergoing a medical"	BBC
0112	For Liverpool fans - image from Melwood press room wall
0151	So much for that - Aguero just did a press conference where he signed a contract extension	Marca
0200	Ok - time for a pause. Only four deals actually confirmed atm and two are loan deals. It is going to be a busy evening. 9 hours to go!	.
0227	According to Balague Torres is still in Liverpool with negotiations ongoing	Twitter
0230	Newcastle have cancelled their press conference - suggests Carroll to LFC deal is still in neg
0230	I have setup a live chat here with Twitter accounts RSS feeds linked to it
0300	The Times are reporting that LFC and Newcastle have agreed a 35M pound deal for Andy Carroll	The Times (sub)
0430	Not much to report atm. Charlie Adam to ManU odds have plummeted - otherwise waiting on Carroll and Torress before other deals start happening
0445	Liverpool have signed Conor Thomas from Coventry	LFC
0500	Feyenoord have agreed to sell Castaignos to Inter	Club
0526	Liverpool confirm Andy Carroll offer has been accepted	LFC
0533	Charlie Adam is on his way to Liverpool
0614	The David Luiz deal from Benfica to Chelsea is back on. Club have accepted offer
0700	Liverpool made a 20M pound bid for Micah Richard. City declined
0726	Liverpool have accepted a bid from Chelsea for Fernando Torres	LFC
0753	Liverpool complete signing of Luis Suarez	LFC
0806	Diouf to Rangers, Ireland to Newcastle
0810	Lots of updates in the completed transfers above
0813	Daniel Sturidge moves to Bolton on loan from Chelsea
0945	1 hour and 45 minutes to go. Which means Harry is probably only arriving to his office now
0950	Deadline day is never over until its over (unless you are Arsenal) and rumors are LFC are still working the phones and preparing a bid for Ashley Young
1020	Giovanni dos Santos has moved on loan to Racing Santander	BBC
1025	Somehow Sean Wright-Phillips will remain at City	Guardian
1030	Newcastle have had a 10M pound bid for N'Zogbia turned down	Sky News
1030	Eidur Gudjohnsen has moved on loan to Fulham	Sky Sports
1040	Everton have turned down an offer from Spurs for captain Phil Neville	Guardian
1045	Depending on what order the transfers are processed in - the British transfer record may have been broken twice today
1055	Andy Carroll is a Liverpool player. He has signed a 5 and a half year contract	BBC
1055	Fernando Torres is a Chelsea player	SSN
1055	David Luiz is a Chelsea player	SSN
1100	TRANSFER WINDOW CLOSED
1100	Note: Player registrations will likely still be announced after the window, so it isn't over yet

(thread limit reached!)

Match Thread: Brighton & Hove Albion vs. Leeds United [Championship]

BRIGHTON 4-0 LEEDS UNITED
Competition: Sky Bet Championship
Kick Off Times: 19:45 GMT, 20:45 CET, 14:45 EST
Venue: American Express Community Stadium, Brighton
Referee: Peter Bankes
TV: Live on Sky Sports 1. Streams can be found on soccerstreams subreddit.
Line-ups:
BRIGHTON:
Stockdale; Bruno, Goldson , Dunk (goal 37), Rosenior ; Knockaert, Stephens, Kayal ( off 75), Murphy; Hemed(goals 17, 27) ( off 75), Baldock ( off 73)
Brighton subs: Mäenpää, Greer, Calderon, Wilson ( on 75), Zamora, Sidwell ( on 75), Skalak ( on 73)
LEEDS:
Silvestri; Wootton ( off 45), Bamba, Cooper (og 21), Taylor; Bridcutt, Diagouraga ( off 83) , Coyle , Cook, Mowatt; Doukara ( off 73)
Leeds subs: Antenucci, Murphy ( on 83), Carayol ( on 45), Erwin ( on 73), Adeyemi, Berardi, Peacock-Farrell
MATCH FACTS [BBC]
Brighton are unbeaten in four at home to Leeds, winning two (D2).
The Seagulls scored four goals against Bristol City last time out, which was the first time they have scored more than three goals in a league game since February 2015 (against Birmingham City). Leeds, on the other hand, have scored just four goals in their past seven Championship fixtures.
Lewis Cook scored his first league goal for Leeds in midweek, on what was his 66th appearance for the club.
Leeds haven't lost three consecutive away games against Brighton since March 1984.
PREVIEW
Brighton continue to chase promotion and a win against Leeds will take them one point off 3rd place Middlesbrough, who will have two games in hand at the end of play, and one point off 2nd place Hull who will have one game in hand. Simply, if they want to fulfil their early season hopes of automatic promotion a win is necessary as Burnley, Hull, and Middlesbrough are looking strong.
Leeds, meanwhile, really don't have much to play for realistically - a familiar position. 9 points above the relegation zone, 17 points off the play-off positions, a win would see them move one place up the table and avoiding relegation by a comfortable margin again becomes the aim for a Leeds side who can beat anyone on their day. The problem is, they don't have a lot of those good days.
My prediction: No win for Leeds since the 23rd of January against Bristol City, a promising display against Boro last week but we are very inconsistent. 2-0 to Brighton.
MATCH EVENTS
0' Brighton get us going. Murphy swings in an early cross but Taylor heads away.
3' Both teams finding their feet and trading possession in the early stages.
4' Mowatt makes a run down the left and feeds it into Doukara who is inside the box, he takes an heavy touch and is nudged over as he goes shoulder-to-shoulder with Dunk, the ref waves away the weak appeal for a penalty.
5' Brighton work a short corner routine and eventually send it into the box where it's cleared for another corner. Dunk tries to get to the ball and Bamba clears it.
6' Leeds win a free kick 30 yards from box as Coyle is brought down. Rosenior, surprisingly, is booked early on.
7' Mowatt hits the wall with the free kick and it goes out for a corner. Disappointing effort, but the first shot on goal today.
12' Rosenior raises a high boot on the touchline and appears to catch the top of Coyle's head, as the Leeds man goes down clutching his head. The ref thinks nothing of it.
16' PENALTY TO BRIGHTON Wootton brings down Rosenior as he makes his way into the box. Stupid decision, clear penalty.
17' GOAL Brighton take the lead - Hemed clips in the penalty confidently. 1-0.
19' Bamba now brings down Knockaert on the edge of the Leeds box. Free kick to Brighton.
20' Brighton work a short free kick routine, it almost goes wrong but Kayal gets a strike away at goal from the edge and Silvestri gets to his side to tip it around the post. It goes out for a corner kick but the corner is delivered as an inswinger and it goes out before coming back in.
21' GOAL Brighton double their lead. Bamba gives the ball away 30 yards out and Baldock feeds Stephens, who bobbles it into the net via a deflection off Cooper. Leeds are in trouble, it's 2-0.
24' Both goals pretty much out of nowhere, nothing was happening in the game before that spell. Possession reads 50-50, but Leeds aren't doing much with their half.
25' CHANCE! Murphy is played through and has a left-footed effort at goal, Silvestri saves and holds it at the second attempt.
26' Leeds do something! A cross is played in towards Mowatt who started the move, and who can't reach it, it's cleared to the edge and Diagouraga slices a shot wide.
27' GOAL It's three. Hemed wins the ball on the edge of the box and powers through before sliding it through the legs of Silvestri.
28' This is embarrassing.
30' Almost four as Hemed and Knockaert combine on the right, the latter floats it in but Baldock can't quite reach the ball.
32' Mowatt puts in a late, frustrated challenge on Hemed, there is a bit of handbags from 9-10 players before it calms down. Mowatt is booked for his troubles. Baldock is also booked for his reaction to the foul.
36' Brighton, with a comfortable cushion, are just keeping the ball and trying to draw Leeds out and tire them out.
37' GOAL Corner for Brighton, ball comes in, free header in the box for Lewis Dunk. Too easy. 4-0.
39' Kayal gets in a tangle with Taylor and the referee appeared to get his book out and then put it back in his pocket.
44' Brighton have complete control of this game. Leeds do not look interested.
45' Three additional minutes.
45+2' Brighton are knocking the ball around their defence to olé's from the home fans. Leeds don't bother chasing it.
HALF TIME: BRIGHTON 4-0 LEEDS UNITED
An embarrassing first half for Leeds, and an extraordinary one for Brighton. Every single goal was unnecessary and due to defensive errors. Leeds are lackadaisical and are not even putting up a fight, they wouldn't win against a Conference side playing like this. It's a shame, and hopefully Evans gets into them at half time. Meanwhile, for Chris Hughton, it's "more of the same, lads". I'll give Brighton some credit, they have knocked it around nicely in their passing style, but they've been allowed to do so. They have exploited Leeds' defensive errors ruthlessly. 4-0, this game is over.
Half time stats: http://i.imgur.com/L9MbH9q.png
Half time sub: Carayol Wootton
45' The game restarts.
46' It could have been five straightaway. Murphy sends the ball in just behind Hemed and Baldock and it flicks off Baldock's heel before going out for a goal kick.
48' Cook shows some rare Leeds intent by shimmying past a couple of players and winning a free kick 30 yards out.
51' Mowatt has a free kick to the right of the area and it gets a deflection before going out for a corner, Brighton can get it away for a counter attack but it's promptly ended by Cooper who commits a foul. The ref decides not to book him, after already booking Rosenior for an arguably softer challenge.
54' Leeds do foray forward, have some decent play and get a corner but it comes to nothing.
57' Leeds getting frustrated by Brighton keeping the ball well and Coyle goes into the book for a foul near the left touchline about 35 yards out.
59' Now Goldson is booked for a foul on Cook as he drives towards the defence. Encouraging play from the Leeds man, an improved display by the side in the second half though we were okay in the first 15 of the first half too, and we know what happened there.
60' Mowatt blazes the free kick for the aforementioned challenge high and wide.
62' Mowatt gets into the box and nutmegs a defender but another defender nudges it to the edge of the box, Mowatt retrieves and feeds Coyle who sends it in but it's headed out for a corner kick. It comes to nothing, but in the next phase of play Cook has a shot from outside the box. IT'S ON TARGET!! Stockdale with his first touch of the ball after over an hour.
65' Brilliant by Carayol who beats a couple and drives into the heart of the box, he lays it off to Doukara who should at least hit the target but curls it wide.
67' Cooper puts in a brutal tackle on Hemed and, after escaping a booking earlier, is now booked.
68' Credit to the travelling Leeds fans who are singing loudly despite the scoreline, as they always do. Great support on a Monday night.
70' Coyle has a shot on the edge of the box, it's blocked, he catches the second ball with a fierce volley, nice height & power but lacked the accuracy.
71' Apparently David Stockdale's dad is in the Leeds end, he'll be hoping his son does him about four favours.
73' Baldock is replaced by Jiri Skalak. For Leeds, Doukara is replaced by Lee Erwin.
75' Not much going on, but more subs. Wilson and Sidwell replace Hemed and Kayal
81' Game seems to be fizzling out, if there's another goal it looks like it will be Brighton. Not enough creativity or effort from Leeds, though it is improved on the shocking first half.
83' Murphy becomes Leeds' final sub, entering the field in place of Diagouraga.
85' CHANCE! Skalak is played through, some Leeds disbelief that the offside flag wasn't raised. Maybe he had too much time but he stutters and sends the shot wide.
89' Knockaert has an effort but Bamba manages to get a block in. The home side are very comfortable.
90' Three minutes of added time. Leeds just want to go home.
90+2' A frustrated kick out on Knockaert by Charlie Taylor on the right touchline, as there is some showboating from the winger. He's booked eventually after a minor scrap, cynical challenge.
90+3' That's time up as the free kick comes to nothing.
FULL TIME: BRIGHTON 4-0 LEEDS UNITED
Brighton looked comfortable for the full 90 and move one point behind Hull and Boro - they're still in the promotion conversation. Leeds were the architects of their own downfall and must improve if they want to beat Preston next time out. An improved second half display but lacked the creativity to get past Stockdale.
MAN OF THE MATCH: TOMAR HEMED
Two goals, and a Panenka penalty to boot from a confident striker.

[QUALITY POST] So You Have Decided to Hate Ed Sheeran: A Guide for Popheadians

VICE Broadly Creators Garage i-D Amuse Motherboard Munchies Noisey Tonic Thump Impact VICE Sports Waypoint VICELAND VICE News VICE Video LATEST
Paul Thomas Anderson on Perfectionism and Making 'Phantom Thread'
When Social Media Snooping On a Crush Becomes a Problem
The Culture Minister's New App Is Going Really Well
10 Questions You Always Wanted to Ask a Pizza Delivery Guy So You Have Decided to Hate Ed Sheeran: A Guide for Americans His inoffensiveness is what makes him offensive. Or: is it the fact he actually seems really, really sound?
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TWEET Joel Golby Joel Golby
Jan 31 2018, 4:45pm
Ed Sheeran in 2015. Photo: The Photo Access / Alamy Stock Photo
Ed Sheeran is the world’s biggest pop star, and he sucks. America is now waking up to this fact because this weekend Ed won the Grammy for Best Pop Solo Performance for "Shape of You" – over "Praying", Kesha's song about overcoming sexual abuse – but didn't even show up to collect his award, and then did a cat picture on Instagram to celebrate his eventual double-win.
Look, here’s the cat picture:
That's annoying, isn’t it? But not all the way annoying. And therein lies Sheeran's particular allure. He falters along this blurry grey line where he is always straddling two states of being: at once charming and un-charming, a banger machine and anti-music, good at pop and bad at it, annoying and irresistible, horny and homely, a pop star and not.
We have known of The Duality of Sheeran in the UK for years, and it's now time for America to stop being quite so charmed by him and see through his many faces and, through that window, find themselves in a dark little pit of something stronger, something else. Welcome, America, welcome. Come on in, the water is lovely.
IS ED SHEERAN A BAD DICKHEAD? AN ARGUMENT FOR THE DEFENCE Ed Sheeran is not, I’m afraid, a bad dickhead. He actually seems fundamentally quite decent and sound. I bet he’s absolutely fine to have a pint with. Like: fine. Not good, but fine. No awkward pauses. Gets the rounds in. Brings back two packets of nuts for the table. Doesn’t have any loud opinions about real ale or "commercial lager". Decent enough at pool to not be a hindrance when you play doubles against two salty old lads who’ve insistently put a 20p piece down when it was your turn to play and said that, actually, the rule in this place is that it's winner-stays-on. You and Ed Sheeran leave the pub in different directions with a dry over-the-jacket-shoulders-hug and an empty promise of Yeah, We Should Do This Again Some Time.
Is Ed Sheeran a bad dickhead? No. He is not a bad dickhead. Are you going to text him for another pint some time? You're not. You've got other friends, better friends. He has his whole… his whole music thing, going. He’s probably busy, isn’t he. He’s probably got friends, right? Better friends. So let’s just leave it.
WATCH:
IS ED SHEERAN A BAD DICKHEAD? A MUCH, MUCH, MUCH, MUCH, MUCH LONGER AND MORE CONVINCING COUNTER-ARGUMENT I'm going to have to break this down into the four sub-truths about Ed Sheeran that make him so largely hated by everyone who does not fiercely love him (it is difficult to be Sheeran agnostic: you either adore him with the power of a thousand suns, or you think he’s horrendous. There’s no middle ground, here. It’s like Marmite grew out a messy bowl cut and started singing at your wedding), thusly:
ED SHEERAN’S STAUNCH REFUSAL TO GLO UP
My dude is about as rich as it is possible to be from music alone (Forbes says he’s worth $37 million (£26 million), and literally any time he wants £15 million more he can just release an album or do a tour or whatever) and yet, despite that, he really very genuinely has the vibe that if his black jeans fade he will just scribble over them with a Sharpie while still wearing them, or that he just has a vague odour of damp laundry to him, or that he had a whole argument with his mum last time his mum's friend was having a wedding because he tried to wear the same trodden-down Etnies he always wears along with his suit, and when he got there he met up with some old college mates and they nicked a jug of scrumpy that was being saved for the reception and drank it, and Ed’s mum had to apologise to the bride because she was crying about the missing scrumpy.
This is it: the man is a multi-millionaire but he looks like your mate’s younger brother who broke his bed once so slept for three months across two beanbags squished in the middle and pressed into a fitted sheet. Ed Sheeran can sleep under absolutely any circumstances, I’m sure of it. I feel like I could blow Ed Sheeran's mind by slowly talking him through the concept of nail clippers. There is no way Ed Sheeran doesn't have a "formal hoodie". No other pop star alive has such a "if you spray enough Lynx on you, you don’t really need a full shower" vibe as Ed Sheeran. He is a human wallet chain.
IMAGINE THIS BRIEF SCENE:
You’re at your mate’s house and you are all smoking weed. It’s one of those halcyon days between lower sixth and upper: you’re all 17, your mums have left to go to work, you have a perfect endless summer against you, the sun outside is technicolor-bright and the wind is softly rippling the closed curtains against your back. Close your eyes and imagine yourself back there: that acrid, sharp smoky smell on the air again; a wet roach being passed around; one of your mates is cueing up a funny video he saw on YouTube. This is before you saw and became bored of every meme in the seconds after it formed. This was before you went to Instagram to get memes to send to your Twitter friends who sent them on to their Facebook friends. There was no meme hierarchy, no urgency. Only fun. On the screen, a dog leaps on a trampoline. You all laugh. "I haven’t seen that one before," you say. "That’s amazing." Hold the feeling.
Ed Sheeran’s there, isn’t he? Ed Sheeran’s there, with his legs folded underneath him on the bed. Ed Sheeran is wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt with a short-sleeved T-shirt over the top of it. Ed Sheeran has a single leather thong necklace tight around his neck. You don’t know where Ed Sheeran came from, or how and when he infiltrated your friendship group, but here he is, drinking flat supermarket-brand cola straight from a two-litre bottle, just a split-second of backwash, every single time he swigs. "Hey mate," Ed Sheeran says to you. "Here, mate," Sheeran says. "Pass the Dutch."
Ed Sheeran holds his hands out to you in a pinch gesture, and a thought crosses your mind. Make Sheeran do something gross for weed. And that’s how you all end up with shaky BlackBerry camera footage of Ed Sheeran licking a toilet bowl, crying, and saying, "Come on, guys!" before being allowed three small tokes on the communal joint. You can imagine it, can’t you? You can imagine that entire thing. This is the biggest pop star on the planet right now.
ED SHEERAN’S "SHAPE OF YOU" IS A GOOD SONG
Listen, OK, fine, I'll say it: "Shape of You" slaps. It slaps. I’m sorry about this. I’m sorry to admit this. It’s a good song! We wouldn’t be talking about him if he didn’t do enough good songs to get famous! But at the start of the year it was fucking everywhere, the same way his big fuzzy orange face (*1) on the cover of + was everywhere for an entire year when that came out; the same way there has not now been a single wedding since B.E. (Before Ed) that did not feature that fucking song about falling into your loving arms. Ed Sheeran is everywhere, he is everything, his ubiquity becomes an assault on the senses, and worst still he knows this. Look at this excerpt from a Guardian interview with him from last March:
He talks about how 2017 is going to be his year, how happy and settled he is with his girlfriend, Cherry Seaborn, an old school friend; how all the artists he sees as competition – “Adele, Beyoncé, Taylor, Drake, the Weeknd, Bruno” – have already put albums out, so ÷ has “kind of a clear lane”. When I ask how he would feel if it did well, but sold less than its predecessor, 2014’s 14m-shifting x, he says: “I’ll bet you anything now it won’t. I don’t think there’s any possibility it will. The next album, I promise you, will sell less, but this album will sell more. I don’t think I’ll have a year like this again.”
His ubiquity is, worst of all the things, incredibly calculated and cynical – he plays the music industry like a fun game that he just happens to be exceedingly, effortlessly good at, and he does it while acting and dressing like the meek lad who fits you for kit every time you play paintball.
HE DOESN’T EVEN ACT FAMOUS IT DRIVES ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NUTS
Every time I have seen footage of Ed Sheeran playing live – which has always been in the middle, unannounced, of something I did want to watch, like when he did the Olympics closing ceremony in a hoodie or when he turned up at [insert name of literally any awards ceremony in the last five years] – he’s always played with a sort of inverted stage presence, like a busker who sings the words "thank you" when you drop them 50p instead of just saying nothing. He is literally that kid from every town in the UK who got a loop pedal and beatboxes in the centre of town every Saturday so he can pay his mum rent, but on this timeline he is our most famous pop export.
That annoys me. As an expression of British pop, Ed Sheeran – Lad From Halls Who Electrocuted Himself Making Toast, Never To Be Seen Again Beyond Fresher’s Week – is the pinnacle of it. And he still looks like he woke up from a cider-and-watching-Blackadder party where he fell asleep and got drawn on with felt-tips and had to do his entire shift at Asda in a big fleece so no one clocked he was still drunk.
READ:
I’M STRUGGLING TO JUSTIFY WHY I DESPISE HIM BEYOND: THE FACT HE SEEMS EXTREMELY SOUND IS ACTUALLY WHAT MAKES HIM IRRITATING? GOD, I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA, DO I Sheeran is just: he’s just that quite forgettable lad from your year at school who nobody really knows the surname of, or who his mates are, or where he goes at lunch ("Where does Ed go at lunch?" – everyone at Ed Sheeran’s school, at some point), and then despite all this, despite all this, he makes absolutely irresistible bangers that your body cannot help itself from liking. You cannot not pop a shoulder to "Shape of You". You cannot not feel weird and gooey while holding hands and listening to "Thinking Out Loud". But the kid who made these songs is also the lad who stood at the front of the tuck shop line, begging everyone for their spare change so he could buy some Nik Naks.
He’s just fine, isn’t he. He’s just the male Ellie Goulding: there, yes, and recognisable on the radio, but you’re not going to go out of your way to enjoy it. He did that annoying Game of Thrones scene and there’s something very fragile and irritating about some of the depths in his voice, and his songs are catchy but not likeable, and he sometimes says some very cocky things, but I say cocky things sometimes and I’ve never made £30 million even once in my life, and that’s it: that’s what’s annoying about him. That you cannot put your finger about what is annoying about him. He’s that feeling of plunging your hands into cold oily dishwater. He’s a bus parked in traffic that refuses to open its door for you. Ed Sheeran is that grim empty feeling you get after spending £7 on a Pret lunch you didn’t even like. He’s just there. Being so inoffensive it is offensive.
Welcome to this feeling, America. We have been struggling with it for years.
@joelgolby
(*1) NOT a ginger thing! His face is literally orange and fuzzy! Look at the album cover! I hate it with my life! I have seen it one-hundred million times!
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32:13 A Wrongful Murder Conviction and 18-Year Fight for Justice: The Fairbanks Four
FILM Paul Thomas Anderson on Perfectionism and Making 'Phantom Thread' "At a certain point, my attention span runs out. I don't exactly have the temperament."
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TWEET Oliver Lunn Oliver Lunn
Feb 1 2018, 8:22pm
Phantom Thread
Consider this: Joaquin Phoenix humping a sandcastle in The Master. Or this: frogs falling from the sky in Magnolia. Or perhaps, cast your mind over Marky Mark’s 13-inch fake schlong in Boogie Nights. You never know what Paul Thomas Anderson is going to do next. You only know that the images he creates will be forever carved into your brain.
I had no idea what to expect from Phantom Thread, Anderson’s new movie about a dressmaker in 1950s London. The trailer made it look like a sniffy BBC costume drama your parents might watch on Sunday night, all perfect postures and drab colours.
This was all the more surprising because his last film, Inherent Vice, was a stoner comedy set in 1970s LA. He’s said before that he’d hate to repeat himself – "I don’t wanna go back, that would be fucking horrible – which helps explain his leap from offbeat rom-com Punch-Drunk Love to There Will Be Blood and everything since.
In Phantom Thread’s twisted tale of a fucked-up relationship, Day-Lewis plays a dapper dressmaker called Reynolds Woodcock. He’s a complete control freak, as particular about the stitches on his dresses as his elaborate breakfast orders. Naturally, he’s not so great in relationships. He starts seeing a Belgian waitress who becomes his model and muse. One morning, in full controlling-dickhead mode, Woodcock snaps at the girl for buttering her toast too loudly: "I can’t begin my day with a confrontation."
If that sounds like a dreary drama about an impossible misogynist, believe me, it’s not. There are heaps of hilarious outbursts from Woodcock, and lines you’d never hear in a more hoity-toity drama. Take Woodcock’s offence at the word "chic". "Chic! Whoever invented that ought to be spanked in public. I don't even know what that word means! What is that word? Fucking chic!" The movie is punctuated by these eruptions. It’s intense and unpredictable, like a grenade thrown towards the conformity of British cinema.
When I sit down with Anderson in a hotel in central London, I ask him about this latest sharp turn. His eyes widen the moment I mention the word "risk". "Yeah. You're challenging yourself [as a filmmaker], mixing it up," he explains. But why this story? Why London's couture world of the 1950s? It all began when Anderson started reading about fashion designers from that era, like Balenciaga and Dior. "They were super obsessive personalities," he says, "super controlling, completely preoccupied with their work." This is Day-Lewis’s character in a nutshell.
You wonder how anyone could date someone that controlling. I ask Anderson if he was interested in how someone with such faulty emotional wiring can sustain a relationship. "No. What was more interesting was when somebody is that controlling of their life, and what happens when something is out of their control – like an illness comes along – and what it does to them, and what does this weakness reveal in them? What Woodcock is really after is somebody to punch him in the face."
I’m curious about possible parallels between Anderson and Woodcock. Can the filmmaker see himself in the dressmaker? "At a certain point my attention span runs out, I’m kind of a little bit impatient. I don’t exactly have the temperament." So the charge of "control freak" is a fair one? "Oh, for sure, but on a scale of 1 to 10 I’m probably hovering somewhere around 5. On an occasional day a proper 10. I mean, nobody likes it when a director doesn’t make decisions. There have been a couple of times where I’ve tried that and everybody gets really irritated. They’re like, 'Right, just fucking tell us what you like, because I don’t wanna have to guess.'"
I bring up the fact that there’s a slew of film nerds on YouTube who pore over his signature style, dissecting everything from his trademark whip-pans to his frames within frames. Again, "meticulous" comes to mind. I ask him if he’s conscious of his signature. "It has to come from whatever the story is," he says. "With There Will Be Blood you could have an epicness, because you’re outside and you’re following this large-scale story." Whereas the camerawork in Phantom Thread – which Anderson had a hand in – is more subtle. What happened to his beloved whip-pans, dolly shots, and high-wire visuals? "There’s physically no room to whip the camera around," he explains. "You’re shooting in a Georgian townhouse. So unless you want to start doing horseshit crane shots up through the floor and stuff like that, then the style comes out of the story and the characters."
This story’s setting couldn’t be more different, I agree, but Day-Lewis’s dressmaker does share some DNA with other Anderson characters. Not least There Will Be Blood’s Daniel Plainview, the actor’s other monomaniac male in pursuit of perfection. Both are flawed males, both the very picture of toxic masculinity. Sure, they’re not quite in the same league as Magnolia’s Frank TJ Mackey (“Respect the cock! And tame the cunt!”), but their masculinity is clearly insidious in relation to those around them. What draws Anderson to these antiheroes? "They’re funny usually. That kind of lends itself to humour, when somebody is like that."
Anderson talks about Day-Lewis on set as if he didn’t meet the actor, but rather Reynolds Woodcock. Was it different to the experience of working with him on There Will Be Blood? "Well, it’s the difference between working with Daniel Plainview and working with Reynolds Woodcock," he says, again as if the actor was in character 24/7 (something he’s famous for). "Plainview is a little bit easier to hang out with; he just wanted to get what was in the ground out; Reynolds is really obsessed with his wallpaper and chairs and things like that."
Paul Thomas Anderson. Image: VICE During the Boogie Nights-era, Anderson would eat pizza in interviews and talk non-stop about movies like he’d drunk ten cups of coffee. Talking to him now, at 47, he’s more reserved, with grey hair and four kids. But he still oozes that fresh-out-of-film-school hunger to knock you sideways in the cinema. He still can’t wait to dive headfirst into something totally different.
And the films themselves? His recent ones have been the most divisive of his career. The Master was a two-and-a-half-hour film loosely based on the early days of Scientology that Entertainment Weekly, in an article entitled Why I Fell Out Of Love With Paul Thomas Anderson, said "lacks a character we care about". Then there was Inherent Vice, an adaptation of the notoriously hard-to-adapt author Thomas Pynchon, that reportedly got walkouts because of its freewheeling narrative.
I loved those movies for their zero-fucks attitude to plot. If anything, my early apprehension about Phantom Thread was that it seemed like safe subject matter. I mean: to go from the sleazy setting of the porn industry, or the potheads of 70s Venice Beach, to this? A film set in polite society?
But here’s the thing: it’s easy to label Phantom Thread as the work of a more "mature" filmmaker, with the glory days of caffeinated whip-pans and coke-fuelled narratives behind him. To be sure, the film's style is more laid-back, the camerawork less energetic. Could it be that the former enfant terrible is slowing down? Speaking to him, I don't get that impression at all. It's not because he’s older and more reserved now, but because, he tells me, this story and this style just happened to be "getting me off" at that time. In other words, his taste is always changing.
I wonder what’s getting him off now. "It’d be nice to do something a bit more fidgety again, I suppose. No more English drawing rooms for me for a while," he laughs.
While English drawing rooms might be old hat, it would be great to see Anderson turn his head to the seedier side of Britain. I’d love to see him, say, make a "kitchen sink" movie in London, again putting the genre’s tired tropes through the PTA blender. And as if reading my mind as I’m leaving, he says: "I did have an idea the other day of wanting to do something in London again, because I really enjoyed my time here and I feel like there’s still more to do."
@OliverLunn
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FILM Paul Thomas Anderson on Perfectionism and Making 'Phantom Thread' DATING When Social Media Snooping On a Crush Becomes a Problem It's impossible to avoid, because it's all we've ever known. But you need to know where to draw the line.
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TWEET ByMegan Nolanillustrated byErin Aniker
Feb 1 2018, 8:02pm
I can pinpoint the exact moment I realised that social media snooping had become the single largest problem in my relationship. Five years ago I was sitting in an apartment I shared with my then-boyfriend, a bottle of wine and four episodes of Gossip Girl deep into a solo Friday night while he partied with his friends. I smoked anxiously as I scrolled through his tagged pictures, trying to see what the party was like, which women were there, if he had slept with any of them.
When I ran out of pictures of that night I just kept going, further back into the recesses of his past, the country he used to live in, the house he had shared with his girlfriend there. I had seen the pictures before, countless times, but I kept scrolling, eager to find the one that hurt the most. It was a sun-dappled photo a friend of theirs had taken in Montreal, both of them laughing at the camera, beautiful and cool. I pulled up a picture of he and I together, and flicked back and forth between the picture of them and the picture of us. Back and forth, back and forth, trying to decipher which picture looked better, which couple was happier, which face was objectively prettier – hers or mine?
I am, at 27, of that generation which was submerged for the first time in the muck of social media while still puzzling out puberty. I was 13 when I first posted on a music forum, when they were largely populated by boys incessantly demanding "Hu here is horny??" after paying perfunctory lip service to a Korn song.
When we were 14, my school was swept by MSN fever. We conducted entire torrid romantic trajectories without ever leaving our bedrooms. It suited me perfectly: a fat, not-quite-pretty, bookish nerd who nevertheless had pretensions of cool, mainly due to the fact I read the NME.
MSN, Bebo and MySpace all meant I could impress my selected targets by name-dropping bands and films, and gathering their admiration the old fashioned way – pretending to like exactly what they liked. A few years later, I lost my virginity to an electronic musician I met on MySpace. My teen romances were, all in all, Extremely Online.
WATCH:
I never had a relationship or even a crush before social media. It was second nature to me to stalk the objects of my affection until I knew every cultural product they liked, had seen every photograph of them. It all felt normal at the time, because I didn’t know anything else. It’s only now that I see how strange it was that we all entered this great unknown, no precedent or consideration for what it all might mean – no idea that simultaneously getting to know a real person and their other, online self could be so disquieting.
Where do you draw the line with snooping on your significant other's online life? Do you scroll through their Twitter (tweets AND replies, why is she responding to his jokes all the time)? How many times a week do you look at their Instagram? Do you check who's liked each selfie (that clapped bloke from her office who’s always commenting heart-eyes emojis)? What about pictures they’re tagged in? What about the friends who posted the pictures they’re tagged in? What about finding the hashtag for a wedding he and his ex-girlfriend may have attended seven years ago? What about following the NGO where she works because sometimes they post candids from the office? Totally fake, not-real, personal examples there, which I use only to illustrate how quickly innocently snooping on someone can descend into a shame spiral.
Deep-dive snooping, drawing hysterical conclusions about your lover’s arm being around a friend, obsessing over their exes – not only is this behaviour a form of psychic self-harm, it has the same seedy feel of reading someone’s diary without permission, the same dread of certainty that nothing good will come of it.
Of course, some innocent snooping is only natural. That beginning part of an immense crush is so powerful that it can literally knock thoughts out of your stupid head. When I have a full blown crush on someone I forget what they look like. The intensity of it is so potent that when I close my eyes and try to recall their face, the features shift around, Picasso-like, and my mind can’t put them back together. It can feel really romantic and fun to sit there with a dopey smile mooning at an album of over-exposed pictures of their Christmas work-do from three years ago, a little dopamine surge to see you through until your next date. It’s fine to want to admire and get to know them.
The problem is when we go from wanting to know a person, to wanting to know them entirely; for there to be no part of themselves they have not revealed; when we want to exhaust their private reserves; when we want to consume them. This is what we do when we insist on knowing those parts of a person’s life which they have not decided to share with us. A key part of desire is the other person’s mystery, but we are compelled to try to destroy the very thing which excites us, the unknowable in them.
Social media tends to distill us all into easily absorbed images, and it's only when we occasionally experience ourselves from the outside that we can see how uncanny it is, this self of yours that looks and speaks and behaves like you and yet does not live your life. I remember roaring with laughter after bumping into my ex a few months after moving to London. "I’ve been stalking your Instagram – you look so happy over there!" he said, and the idea that anyone could have thought this when I was almost dizzy with sadness seemed ludicrous to me. But of course he had – I had as good as told him so, even if I didn’t mean to.
I often experience profound disturbance when I unexpectedly see a picture of an ex on Instagram; I think because it’s so jarringly intimate and so alienating at the same time. Here I am, the images say, and you don’t know me at all. I keep wondering when I will get used to it, when it will all stop seeming so strange. I wonder if I will unlearn this way of seeing, and then I remember that I never knew a different one.
@mmegannnolan
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TWEET Simon Childs Simon Childs
Feb 1 2018, 7:48pm
Matt Hancock MP
Culture Minister Matt Hancock has released an app to help his local constituents keep up to date with new pictures of him smiling while standing next to people. It's obviously supposed to be a forward-thinking attempt at 2.0 democracy, but it's basically it’s like a Facebook/Insta feed from one politician, with some opportunities for users to comment.
Within certain limits, of course:
Users are loving the opportunity to be themselves and share their views:
Some say the government is useless. I say to them: good luck getting anyone to believe you now they've provided us with an innovate new wanking platform.
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