You guys were super helpful to me, so hopefully this helps someone else out down the line!!
We (boyfriend and I) booked a package through Southwest vacations, originally staying Sunday through Thursday and flying out on Friday but we stayed the extra two nights and flew out on Sunday in order to meet up with some friends. Originally we had a king room at MGM booked, but changed over to a king balcony suite at the Signature at MGM for the extra space/whirlpool tub.
The vast majority of our gambling was $0.25-$1 blackjack on the video poker machines - we didn't lost much money, and had drinks given to us pretty frequently at most casinos.
Sunday we flew in and got to the Signature at about 10:30am, we were able to upgrade to a 28th floor strip view suite for an extra $10 a night - we had originally been offered a 37th floor strip view suite for $30 a night, but went with the slightly cheaper option. Luckily our room was ready and we were able to take our bags upstairs right away. We headed to Planet Hollywood and grabbed lunch at Earl of Sandwich, walked around the shops then explored Paris and a bit of Bellagio and gambled a bit before heading black to the hotel to get ready for dinner. We took a lyft down to the Palms and did dinner at Alize - we had a groupon for the tasting menu at $200 rather than the original $350ish, but the meal was so incredible I'd probably be willing to pay full price. Originally we had plans to go down a floor to hang out at Ghostbar for a bit, but we were both so full and tired neither of us really felt like drinking. We gambled a bit before lyfting back to the Signature, then changed and hung out at MGM's casino for a bit before heading to sleep.
Monday we each used a free breakfast buffet reward from MyVegas at MGM, then lyfted down to Fashion Show and explored Encore/Wynn/Venetian for a while. We had a buy one get one free Bellagio lunch buffet reward as well, which we redeemed right at about 2:45 so we could get the perks of the dinner buffet offerings that were brought out at 3. Later on we checked out NYNY then took the free tram between ExcalibuMandalay Bay/Luxor and explored and gambled a bit while watching the CFB playoff. Again, we gambled a bit at MGM and made it to Emeril's JUST in time to grab a late night happy hour snack - the sign said 9:30-close, when we got there at about 9:40 the bartenders took our order right away as the kitchen was in the process of closing up. The apps were good, unfortunately we never made it back for oyster happy hour.
Tuesday we did an early lunch at Nacho Daddy (giant plate for about $20, easily fed both of us!) and explored and gambled around Aria/Cosmopolitan/Bellagio. We had a Groupon for a prix fixe menu at Koi at Planet Hollywood which turned out to be a great deal, and we hung out in the lounge for happy hour for a bit before that. We booked KA tickets a few days before flying out through the M Life site, which was an amazing show for a great deal.
Wednesday we used a buy one get one free MGM breakfast buffet MyVegas reward, then lyfted out to SilverCar and picked up a car for the day. We're both only 22 so we really struggled finding a decently priced car, luckily a
Vegas redditor recommeneded SilverCar. Cost for the day was $39 and $12 in taxes/fees, and $5+gas. We drive to Hoover Dam/Lake Mead and then Red Rock. Since we had the car we decided to stop at In n Out, then headed up to Stratosphere for happy hour at sunset - neither of us really enjoyed the drinks or the view from the SkyLounge, but we had been spoiled at the Palms a few nights before. We also popped into Westgate, Circus Circus, Lucky Dragon and Rio before heading to the Welcome to Vegas sign and dropping the car off. My boyfriend is a pilot so we popped into the airport observation lot for a half hour or so - unplanned but incredibly cool!! We lyfted down to Caesars, went through the shops then explored and gambled and watched a few fountain shows before heading to bed.
Thursday was kind of rainy and windy, so we slept in and then headed to Aria and each used a free lunch buffet reward. We both thought this was by far the best buffet (and it cost less points than the Bellagio rewards!), and it's definitely on the top of our list to go to again. We lyfted down to Fremont and spent the afternoon/early evening exploring all of the casinos and watching the light shows, then did dinner at Hugo's Cellar at Four Queens. Hugo's was recommended by family friends, we both thought it was OK but not great. We sat down at some penny video poker machines at the Fremont Casino, which happened to be right next to the bar and wound up with about 8 drinks each in an hour or so span. We lyfted back to the Signature and headed to sleep.
Friday we grabbed lunch at Taco Bell so we could officially say we had eaten there, then explored the middle part of the strip (Ballys/Harrahs/Linq/Flamingo) that we hadn't gotten to yet. We wound up with awesome 5th row center section seats for the early show of Zumanity by checking with the box office about a half an hour before the show started, I think the original price would have been nearly $400 after tax and fees and I paid around $170. I would definitely recommend a seat near center stage since so much happens right up front. After that, our friends got in and got settled, then we gambled at MGM and headed down to Bellagio for the fountains and more gambling. My female friend and I were wandering around the slot machines near Hyde while the guys were playing video games, we were approached by someone working the door and let in free of charge in front of the line. We stayed for about ten minutes to see what was happening then left because it was decently crowded and we wanted to get back out to the guys. Late night dinner at Taco Bell finished off our night.
Saturday we once again did breakfast at the MGM buffet, per request of our friends - I definitely wouldn't recommend paying weekend prices unless you're wanting to drink shitty mimosas for two hours straight. For the $55ish we paid for the two of us I definitely wouldn't say it was worth it at all. We then headed to Pro Gun Club a little ways outside of Vegas - specifically chosen because my boyfriend and I are both experienced shooters and I wanted the chance to shoot a 50 cal, but one of our friends had never shot a gun and wanted to be able to shoot a 9mm. My boyfriend was there once before and the staff has been amazing both times - the outdoor range is great. By the time we got back it was nearly dark, so we walked from MGM up the strip to see some more of the strip at night, popped into the In n Out at the LINQ, hung out in different casinos here and there until 7 when we watched the Mirage volcano, then went through the Venetian some more. We took a lyft back to the hotel )damn near impossible to finally get a driver that showed up within five minutes for some reason), got ready and then we hung out at the MGM casino while our friends went to a show that wasn't of any interest to us.
Sunday we checked out of our hotel, checked our bags with the bellhop and grabbed lunch at Earl of Sandwich and hit up the sports book at Planet Hollywood to put some last minute bets down since we realized we could mail the tickets in if we won. We headed to the airport at about 2 even though our flight wasn't until 4:45 thinking that it was going to be insanely busy based on how crazy checkout had been in the morning, but we were dropped off by Lyft and made it to the terminal within 15 minutes. We watched as much of the Packers game as we could and played some last minute video blackjack before finally getting on our flight (delayed by an hour, almost missed our transfer to another plane in Phoenix but luckily they held the plane for us.
We definitely didn't NEED seven nights, but I'm glad we had the time to get out off of the strip for two full days. We got through just about everything we wanted to and didn't feel rushed. Next time we're back we'll probably just stay 3-4 days since we now know what we like and where we'll want to go back.
We actually grabbed a $1 chip from each casino we went into (other than those on Fremont street - we couldn't just get one from the cashiers or one of the dealers, we were told that we had to actually sit down and play which we weren't planning on doing at each casino) and wound up with 30 total, so we covered a lot of ground!
General takeaways -
-MyVegas saved us a TON of money - six free buffets (and a few random non-MGM rewards that we actually didn't wind up using due to the restrictions on when they could be used). I will absolutely keep playing for whenever we go next! We tried to leave slots running on our phones in the background whenever we were watching TV or something, and I played a bit of blackjack most days. We didn't learn about it until about 2 months before we came, and we each wound up with about 50-60k in loyalty points with very minimal effort.
-Lyft was insanely cheap with $5 off each ride - we spent about $50 total for 10 rides (including one to the airport gate, two to Fremont, two to Silvercar which is past the airport) compared to one $25 Uber to get us from the airport to the Signature.
-People aren't kidding when they say wear comfy shoes - I wore my comfiest pair of boots on Monday and wound up with a horrid blister that I didn't know was forming. Monday night through Thursday was hell for me because I had a quarter sized blister on the bottom of my foot - thank god for the $9 pads I was able to grab at CVS
-I do pole/aerial silks so I was insanely excited for Cirque shows, my boyfriend not so much - we both LOVED KA, I loved Zumanity and he at least semi-enjoyed it. Definitely give them a shot!
-Groupon saved us quite a bit of money on dinners as well, and we had a few others lined up for food/drinks/entertainment that we knew we could purchase if we wanted to use them.
-Silvercar is in fact legit, and you will wind up with a Silver Audi - any time we travel to a city with a Silvercar kiosk, we'll actively be seeking them out.
-We learned that rooms at the Signature can be rented on airbnb, which we definitely did not know before hand - just generally looking at prices the rooms on airbnb seemed like an awesome deal and we'll definitely check into that next time we come.
Once again, thanks for all of your help - we saved a ton of money and got so many good recommendations from you all!!
So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show. http://imgur.com/a/HoFUm Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
http://imgur.com/a/dygil The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find
bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
It says RESTAURANT - LOUNGE - PAWN SHOP.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet
Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean like.........man.
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and
chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
http://imgur.com/a/GOiCB It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT!
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
"No"
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and
chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed.
fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show. Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see
Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show. Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call
foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
ITS EXACTLY LIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
http://imgur.com/a/LGhDj I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show. Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
Me: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ID?
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
Me: it was that OR GET RUN DOWN BY SOME JACKASS ON A GODDAMN SCOOTER GOING FULL SPEED DRIVING LIKE A....
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
Me: LUNATIC!
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"
I finished all of the classes I need for my major a semester early, so I'm done with college. I'm working a full time job as a Special Education Assistant at a local elementary school, so I still get spring break, which naturally meant a Vegas trip. My friends’ reactions varied from “weren’t you just there?!?” to “how many times have you been there?” (5, not that I’m counting), to “of course you are.” (Un)fortunately all of my buddies from college had spring break a week before mine, so I had an excuse for a solo trip.
I really enjoy solo trips. I love the freedom that comes with them, and being able to call the shots however I want without having to worry about anyone else. I like meeting people, doing my own thing, and being able to follow my whims. That said, in a crazy turn of events, I was able to coordinate a meeting with a girl I’d matched with on Tinder (hereafter referred to as Cinderella). I matched with her a year ago during a layover at O’Hare on my way back from Japan, and we’ve talked off and on. Her spring break lined up with mine, and I jokingly invited her. She actually took e seriously, and by that point I couldn’t back out, so it was on. I flew out to the desert on Sunday and came back Thursday evening, whereas I got her to fly out Tuesday and leave Thursday morning, leaving me ample time for gambling on both ends.
I budgeted my usual $100 a day for gambling, for a $500 bankroll. I’ve been refining my money management system to ensure that I keep enough in the kitty to keep gambling and keep coming to Vegas. The gist of it is that I bring a fresh $100 bill with me each day, and keep whatever I have left at the end of the day for next time. I try to protect my winnings by cashing out my initial buy in if I double it, pocketing that for the next trip, and playing only the amount of my initial buy in, hopefully with many more pocketed chips. I really have to stick to this and a preset loss limit because I’m operating on a loss limit.
I booked a flight on Allegiant, direct from Colorado Springs for $76 one way. I was hoping the flight back would go down, but it never did, so I ended up paying $170 for the flight back. Not too bad considering I had three nights comped at the Golden Gate and I didn’t have to pay for a shuttle from DIA (I just gave my buddy some whiskey for the trouble of driving me).
I maxed out my comped room offer at the Golden Gate, booking for three nights from Sunday-Tuesday. I stayed at Harrah's Wednesday, since I like to take the strip in for one day (after I get the gambling out of my system), and also because I wanted to give Tinderella the full Vegas experience for her first time.
As per usual, I fit my grossly overpacked bag under the seat as a "personal item" in order to avoid paying the exorbitant bag fees. It's a point of pride for me to be able to stick it to the airlines and efficiently pack 4 days worth of things into a small grocery bag. In a related matter of principle, my signature shooters of rum made the trip to COS with me.
A friend and his partner picked me up from the airport and we went to Pho Kim Long. It was my first time eating Vietnamese, and I really enjoyed it. I sampled some pho, grilled chicken, milk tea, and an eggplant dish. It was all so good, and I was so starving, that I forgot to document any of it.
I checked into my room at the Golden Gate, and dropped my bags off. As per usual, the room was loud and I could hear people walking in the halls, and the shower has two temperatures: freezing or scorching. Oh well, free is free.
I went down to the players club to redeem my Allegiant match play (2 $25 chips if you show a confirmation number within 24 hours of landing). I was pleasantly surprised to see the same lady who helped me last time. She remembered me and said it was great to see me again and we chatted while she redeemed my offers. It felt pretty good to have someone remember me in Vegas, although it did make me feel slightly degenerate at the same time (not that that makes me feel bad; it’s a point of pride). In addition to my room, I also had $10 of free slot play and $15 of food credit at DuPar's. Who says gambling can't pay off?
SUNDAY
I went to Binion's to play some Bonus Poker, which was more like Boner Poker. I got boned for $60 without hitting anything particularly noteworthy. The scattered straights and flushes that I hit weren't enough to bring me positive, and I was chasing my losses the whole time. I got $5 free play and a $10 food credit for the cafe on my Motherlode spins.
Down to my last $40 for the day less than 30 minutes into the night, I was pretty frustrated. Since it was already late, I decided to play aggressive and try to turn it around. I went to the Golden Gate and bought into blackjack with all of my bankroll for the night a little after midnight.
I wasn't having much luck, even though everyone at the table besides me seemed to be winning. I was down to my last $25, so I went all in with my match play. I’m a (single) red chip player, so betting green is huge for me. At a quarter of my bankroll, and all that I have left, I’m freaking out. I can barely stand to look up, and I see an Ace. I try to stay calm and not get ahead of myself, and then the second card comes: Jack! I hit a blackjack for a sweet $75 payout that brought me right back to where I'd started for the day. I pocketed 2 greens and kept playing with the remaining $50. I worked up the courage to put down my second match play after steadily increasing my chip count and pocketing a couple more greens. On the second big matchplay hand, my 17 beat a dealer bust. I pocketed another $50 and kept playing.
At this point, my bankroll management strategy is really coming into play. I’m fairly steadily pocketing greens, (and $5 worth of 50¢ chips from blackjacks). I was tipping generously, betting a dollar for the dealer every few hands. It was a good table, with a fun lesbian couple (who played with horrible strategy, splitting 10s and staying on 14s, to name a few… luckily I don’t mind how others play, because in the long run it events out) and some nice guys who came in later.
I got a pair of aces, which I split only to get 2 more aces and learn that you aren't allowed to resplit aces. My 2 12s lost to a dealer 17 which was painful, but I can't complain too much after paying for my flight with the match play alone.
A new dealer came in after a while and all of my friends left, so I was playing heads up. I wasn't feeling it, so after I lost $25 I colored up and walked away with $250 at 4:30am. It was a huge relief to lock in half of my bankroll as a guaranteed return the first night, especially after being down so fast. I was so wired after playing for 4+ hours and increasing my buy in 8x that I couldn't sleep, so I called both of my parents before they went to work and texted my degenerate cousin the great news.
$100 in, $250 out (+$150) +$150 on the trip
MONDAY I slept until noon and took it easy after waking up. I went to Mermaid's for some quick drink service to start the day, and turned $5 into $20 on a vintage nickel WoF multireel. Unfortunately the luck didn't continue, and I donked it (and $60) off at Boner Poker. I hit a few full houses/flushes/straights, but it wasn't enough to get me above water. I hit four to a royal twice, but couldn’t finish it either time.
Had lunch at Binion's, using my $10 voucher to get pancakes, scrambled eggs, and wheat toast. At least I got something (a $100 brunch) out of all the Boner Poker losses.
I bought into $3 craps at the Fremont for $21. I've been cutting my teeth at $1 craps at the Wildwood Casino out in Colorado, so I was excited to give it a shot in Vegas. I lucked out and ran my $21 up to $50. I should've pressed harder since two shooters had rolls of 26 and 27, but at least I left with something.
I went to the D for some horses and cocktails. I bought in for $30 and was hammered by the end. I had enough wins to keep me there for a few hours, including a nice 105 payout on 4-5. I called it an early night and went to bed around midnight since I was so drunk and because I'd lost all my money.
$100 in, $0 out (-$100) +$50 on the trip
TUESDAY I woke up with a nice hangover from all of the Whiskey Cokes I'd drank at the Derby the previous night, so I did the only thing to do in that situation: mimosas and a greasy burger (after buying overpriced Advil at the ABC store). I went to Flippin' Good Burgers and got my usual, the Farm Burger. It's one of all time favorite burgers and I love getting it every time! I can't recommend them enough.
I donked off $40 on Boner Poker at Binion’s and some random slots, and blew $10 at 25¢ roulette at the El Cortez. I was chasing a 20 (not sure why, I just had a hunch... Maybe Nate is rubbing off on me) and didn't hit it, so I lost after treading water for a while. After losing all this before lunch, I decided to add a discretionary $20 more to my kitty for the day.
My tinderella got in about 2:30 in the afternoon, at which point I was playing craps. I made her wait until the roll was done to go meet her, like the true degenerate I am. She wasn't happy that I made her wait with all of her bags, but I can't say that I regret my choices. After she dropped her stuff off, we went to Binion’s where I used a $10 coupon to pay for my guilty pleasure of country fried steak and eggs. I picked up the rest of the tab with comp dollars, which was pretty satisfying for a low roller like me.
After lunch, Tinderella wanted to play blackjack, so naturally I obliged. Bought in for $30 at the GG and was able to run it up to $50. She was gambling with scared money (she bought in for $5…) and didn't really enjoy it, but that didn't stop me.
We headed to the Fremont for craps, but she didn't want to play. We can't all be degenerates. I bought in for $30 and played for a while and could tell she was getting bored. I told her (in between rolls of course) that she's welcome to leave any time, and she was gone before the next shooter sevened out. I stayed for a while, and with the help of a hot shooter was able to cash out for $100.
I went to GG for $25 worth of BJ before bed, content that I'd locked in $100 on the day. I played for a good 2 hours on my $25 buy in before losing it, so I was happy. I had a massive hand where I split 2s, resplit, and doubled a 9 against a dealer 4. This took all of my money on the table, so the guy next to me (who was so drunk off of two Coronas that he couldn't add up his cards or figure out what his total was with aces) spotted me $5. Luckily I won, and had a massive $40 payout, and gave him his red back as well as betting a dealer tip for him. I was tipping the dealer very generously, and helped her color up her tokes to a a green.
Finally content with the gambling, I went up to the room to find Tinderella asleep. When she woke up she said "you weren't kidding about being a degenerate gambler." I can't say I didn't give her fair warning, so I didn't feel too bad. We had a good time and went to bed.
$120 in, $100 out (-$20) +$30 on the trip
WEDNESDAY While I was packing, I ripped my Bucee’s cooler bag, so I had to buy a souvenir Las Vegas bag. Started the day off with breakfast at DuPar’s so I could use my $15 voucher. I got a bacon avocado omelette with jack cheese and a blueberry muffin. It was delicious, as were the pancakes that I stole a bite of. Played a little blackjack and I ran $30 up to $50.
I had a Groupon at Banger Brewing, so we headed there next. $19 for a flight of 4 beers, two half-pint pours, and a one liter growler to go was a steal. I wasn’t a huge fan of the El Heffe (Jalapeño and pepper beer, although it was exactly as described). I loved the Morning Joe (coffee kolsch) however, and took my pour and growler of that. It tasted just like a frappucino without being overly sweet, and was a very unique taste.
We checked out of the Golden Gate and took the Deuce to the Strip. A guy struck up conversation with me, and we talked the whole way about solar energy. Before I got off, we exchanged numbers and he told me that, as far as he was concerned, I'd "aced the interview" and he'd "call within the month with a job offer for me" that will "pay 6 figures." I'm obviously skeptical, but it made for an entertaining ride and it was a nice confidence boost to know that I can ace an interview hammered.
Once we got to the Strip we watched the Bellagio fountains and then went to Harrah’s to check in. I paid the extra $7 to upgrade to a strip view, and the jury’s still out on if it was worth it. The room was surprisingly nice, especially after the comped nights at the Golden Gate.
We got a half hour in at the pool before it closed (which was long enough for my fair skin to get sunburned, don’t worry), freshened up, and walked to Ra for dinner.
We got lost in the mall looking for it, but we finally found it and it was delicious! Tinderella insisted on paying for dinner, and I gladly took her up on it. The sushi was incredible! The specialty rolls on happy hour were a delight, and the Viva Las Vegas roll was my favorite.
By the time we finished dinner, it was dark out and surprisingly chilly with the wind. We stopped at H&M where I found a sweater that was 50% off the clearance price, effectively making a $28 sweater $6.49. My frugality thoroughly satisfied, we walked back to the Linq Promenade for some cupcakes and Happy Half Hour on the High Roller.
I bought a cinnamon cupcake from the Cupcake ATM. It saved the wait of standing in line, and it was a pretty cool experience. The frosting was delectable, but the cupcake itself was a little dry and left something to be desired.
We redeemed a Living Social deal for the High Roller (thanks Tinderella), and were in the car within 5 minutes. As we know by now, I’m a value hunter, and even though I didn’t pay for the ride, I wasn’t going to leave any money on the table. I went in with a goal: 10+ drinks in 30 minutes. I started strong with some Jack and Cokes, and was 3 deep by the time we were a quarter of the way up. I switched to a Jack and club for a palette cleanser, and then downed two more Jack and Cokes by the time we reached the top. Once we got to the top, the car did a shot together which put me at 7. I eased up a bit, nursing another Jack and Coke on the way down (8). When we neared the bottom, I switched to a Bud Light (9). I hid it on the rail and ordered another one (10) for last call, and when the bartender told us that we could only bring one drink off, I took a big gulp and stealthily snuck one in my pocket. I made it off, and felt so accomplished!
With my buzz coming on strong, it was time for some gambling. I walked all the way to Hooter’s to sign up for the card and get $15 of match play and $10 free play. I won $12.50 on Boner Poker, which I then lost (plus another $50) on $3 blackjack. The game was so painful I don’t know why I stayed. Past a point, it was like schadenfreude. I kept buying in thinking it would turn around, only to get beat by one or two. The final hand, on which I bet $10, I got a 20 vs a dealer 3. I breathe a sigh of relief, which is intensified when the dealer flips a 10. Guess what comes next: an 8, for a dealer 21. I had a hard time shaking the loss off, not because I lost $50 (I do that all the time), but because it was at Hooter’s. Anywhere else I wouldn’t have minded, but it just felt so dirty.
Tinderella had a flight at 5am, so I stayed up with her and walked her down to the cab, and then crashed.
$100 in, $0 out (-$100) -$70 on the trip
THURSDAY I woke up at 7:45 to pee and felt like absolute death, so I was dreading my 9:15 alarm. I went back to sleep, and miraculously felt fine when I woke up, even beating the alarm by 2 minutes! My stomach didn't feel too great, but after a shower and granola bar I was good to go. I felt like a professional tetris player as I packed my personal item, which had now expanded to include my newly purchased sweater.
I checked out and cracked open the Banger growler that I'd put on ice the night before. I can't say that a liter of beer was what my body wanted after a night of heavy drinking, but I'm a man of principle and I refuse to waste beer, so I did what I needed to do. I cracked my Morning Joe open and started walking North on the Strip. A coffee kolsch was close enough to breakfast for me.
I got on the Deuce with a good buzz going, and walked to Binion's. I played Boner Poker one last time and was up $10 for the first time all trip, but it quickly went back down to $20, at which point I cashed out and called it even. Having earned 5 points, I spun the wheel and got $5 of free play, which I donated back to Boner Poker.
I decided to hit craps hard at the Fremont, buying in for $30. I ran it up to $60 in short order, but then lost it after pressing aggressively. I bought in for $25 more. I was up and down, but finally down to my last $2. I threw it on C and E and was ready to walk away when a 3 hit. The bet stayed on for the next roll (at which point I was tempted to take it off, but I didn’t), and what comes out but a yo? I parlayed my winnings into some place bets and come bets with odds, and ran it up to $81. I colored up and was going to walk with $80, but I decided to throw one more dollar yo on my way out. Guess what hits... another 11! I walked out with $95.
My flight home left at 5:47 and it was already 2pm. On the way to GG for my last blackjack buy in of the trip, I walked across the street from the Fremont to do the free spin at 4Queens. I watched in awe as 3 clubs lined up and the 4Queens hit the payline! I got $25 of free play.
I decided to press up to 50¢ 9/6 Jacks or Better in the hopes of hitting something decent, or at the very least extracting some of the cash value. Instead, I hit literally nothing in all 10 spins, cementing that it was not to be a VP trip. I was gonna try $5 more of quarters, but the bill got stuck. After an attendant came over and I got it back, I tried again only to get the same error. I took it as a sign and left to the Golden Gate.
I bought in for $50 at a table with some fellow Midwesterners (from Wisconsin). I played aggressive since I only had 30 minutes until I should leave for my flight, and I was able to color up to a black. I played my remaining $25 down and walked with $100.
Because I'd gambled so late, I missed the WAX and had to take a Lyft to McCarran. It was $30 and I had perfect timing; by the time I got through security, boarding had begun but I didn't have to rush. No stress of missing the flight, and no wasted time not gambling... Well worth the $30.
The flight was hotter than the 7th circle of hell, and ironically the warmest I was the whole trip since it was so windy every day. The air was a sweet relief, as was the water I'd filled my growler with. Uneventful flight, minus my failed attempt to eat a melted chocolate bar. I typed up the bulk of this TR and basked in the glory of my first winning trip, and tried to ignore the two-part hangover already setting in. The Vegas hangover is hard enough, so it sure didn't help to feel the Long Islands wearing off...
$100 in, $190 out (+$90) +$20 on the trip
TOTAL: $520 in, $540 out +$20 on the trip
I had an awesome trip, and am very happy to have my first WINNING TRIP even if it was only $20! I got a lot of value out of it, and think that four nights was the perfect duration for Spring Break. I got some good gambling and drinking in, but I’m definitely ready to be home and go back to healthy eating and working out. I don’t have the next trip planned, but I’m hoping to come out later in the summer, perhaps for a shorter duration so I could have a higher daily bankroll.
I hope you enjoyed reading my TR! Thanks for taking the time to read through my low-roller account!
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