What to Do If Someone You Care About Has a Gambling Addiction

what to do if someone has a gambling addiction

what to do if someone has a gambling addiction - win

Alcohol recovery without AA

recoverywithoutAA is a platform for people struggling with substance and alcohol abuse to come together to discuss their experiences, and strategies for recovery and healing, without the use of Alcohol Anonymous or other 12 Step programmes. This is an inclusive, supportive place to find help *without* being told all your problems will be fixed by just 'going to a meeting'.
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The Sacred Grove and Grod's Law: How Path of Exile's fundamental itemization design conflicts with its own crafting system

Edit: Actual TL;DR - There is none. It's a complicated issue and I'm hoping you will take the time to read the post if you want to engage in the discussion. That's why the post is tagged 'discussion'.
I made a lengthy comment after reading this post yesterday. What a crazy helmet! But it was the top comment chain in that thread that caught my attention, particularly this comment:
Annoyance leads to a group that is willing to put up with it getting all the rewards but hating the game because it's annoying and a second group that doesn't put up with it but hates that they're missing out on the stuff the first group is getting. Everyone loses.
My thoughts on this subject probably merit its own discussion thread, so here it is.
This reminds me of Grod's Law:
Grod's Law: You cannot and should not balance bad mechanics by making them annoying to use
Years ago on the Giant in the Playground forums (a community for the D&D 3.5 edition tabletop roleplaying game), an argument broke out when a user recommended balancing the absurd power of magic using classes by making them meticulously track their material components for each spell.
For those unaware, material costs for spells that didn't have an explicit monetary cost listed were generally just flavorful; holdovers from Gary Gygax's day at the helm, basically little Easter eggs in the game. Like Detect Thoughts required you to use 2 copper pieces to cast, e.g. 'penny for your thoughts?', and Fireball required you to use bat guano (known to be high in sulfur content) and saltpeter (chemically combined they create an exothermic reaction IRL).
Anyway, your wizard or whatever was expected to buy a spell component pouch for a few gold and that pouch was assumed to have all the basic material components they'd need for most spells in limitless quantity. Spells in D&D can be incredibly powerful and versatile in their use, and the most powerful builds in the game all involve casting magic. Well, this user suggested balancing those spells by making wizards have to spend time gathering their individual material components. Want to cast Fireball? Spend a few days scraping bat shit off the cave floor, etc.
The problem with this rationale is that it doesn't really solve any problems. Wizards are still just as powerful, but now the player has to go out of their way, detracting from the campaign and story, so they can scrape their spell juice off the dungeon floor. Grod argued the following:

Tie this back into PoE already!

Yes, sorry. Thanks for putting up with my rambling.
I kinda feel like harvest is like this - A terrible implementation of a mechanic that GGG (i.e. Chris Wilson) hates (i.e. thinks is 'bad' for the game). It highlights a massive problem with itemization and crafting in this game.
Way too much character power is tied up in gear as compared to skills and passives. And Harvest crafts are so powerful because other crafting tools in PoE are are way too random, but the power creep in items over the years has made it way too appealing (various influence mods for example). Crafting most items is a gamble, plain and simple. Gambling is just not appealing to many people, and it can get expensive very fast. It's layers upon layers of RNG for even the chance of getting a decent item, some of which can be build-enabling, and there are very few deterministic methods of getting what you want. It's far easier to just buy a powerful item like that from someone else. Of course, that can't be done for SSF players, but even in trade league it can be problematic when GGG balances the game around meta-builds (supply and demand means you might not get to enjoy playing your build because upgrades are too expensive).
GGG wants the game to be like this. They want you to engage in the skinner box of gambling RNG they've designed. Harvest just doesn't jive with how they want you to build your character, but it's immensely popular for anyone who hates gambling and wants to build their character in a predictable and targeted way. Their solution was to leave it in the game but make it as cumbersome and obnoxious to engage with as possible, so it becomes a massive opportunity cost to do so.
You find a grove in a map. Cue 20 to 30 minutes of reviewing your stash and gear for possible upgrades and reviewing craft options for valuable ones that might be sold on TFT, etc. It completely disrupts the flow of the game and you can barely save enough valuable crafts for one or two side builds. When you finally do get one of the few good craft options, you might not even have something to use it on! Ultimately it's far more time-efficient to sell your good crafts (using 3rd party mechanisms, of course) and just keep playing the game.

How does this affect me, SaneExile?

The system affects the game exactly how Grod proposes:
The inappropriate powergamer figures out how to circumvent the restriction. His power remains the same.
PoE isn't a collaborative tabletop game like D&D, so "inappropriate powergamer" is, well, an inappropriate name for this group. Optimizing gameplay in PoE is perfectly reasonable and encouraged. But people who trade crafts in large volume on TFT or are in massive guilds throwing around thousands of exalts are not your average optimizer, and are not affected by this cumbersome barrier to entry. They find the optimal solution and just incorporate it into their gameplay and profit off it massively.
The reasonable player either figures out how to circumvent the restriction (rendering it moot), avoids the class (turning it into a ban) or suffers through it. His power remains the same and/or his enjoyment goes down.
Reasonable player -> average PoE player. The distinction between these two groups can get fuzzy, but it's hard to argue that someone playing 40 hours per week and someone playing 10 hours per week can achieve the same levels of effectiveness. Practice makes perfect, and practice takes time. Those in large communities are, likewise, not really playing the same game as the solo players (e.g. aura-bots, trade groups, etc.). For some, efficiency is measured in chaos per hour. For a few, it can be exalts per hour. This group is very much the former.
The new player avoids the class or suffers through it. His enjoyment goes down.
Class -> game mechanic. In this case, I'm sure a lot of people just pretend the Sacred Grove doesn't exist. Harvest is a thing that other people do. And if they do choose to engage with it, its cumbersomeness and complexity means their overall enjoyment of PoE is diminished. I couldn't even begin to explain the system to someone new to the game, at least in a reasonable manner that doesn't sound like a college economics lecture.

Conclusions

So, average people either suffer through harvest's implementation because it's so damn useful, or they avoid it and suffer FOMO or other gambling-induced psychological issues because the power-players in the community are cranking out incredibly OP gear on the trading market. Lose-Lose. This isn't unique to harvest, it's just the most obvious with this crafting system in the game. Crafting in general is fucked up, when you really consider how it's designed to prey on gambling addiction.
This might not be a problem in the short term (obviously you don't need the helmet posted above to make specters work), but in the long term it throws off the balance of the game through power creep. The Raise Specters gem was meganerfed this league, but it's definitely still playable, and with items like this, it's not even that much weaker than before. Essentially, the power of the skill was offloaded from the gem to PoE's itemization system, and the barrier to OPness is that much higher. The rich get richer and the average market has one less meta build.
GGG really fucked up Harvest, but it's only because Harvest highlighted just how fucked up crafting in this game is. Super powerful crafts have always been something only the PoE rich engage with regularly and with any significant profit. Harvest, for its league at least, let more casual players engage with that system. And the power creep ended up being so massive that they hamstrung it every chance they got.
Ultimately, GGG's implementation ends up hurting the whole game because of Grod's Law - the benefits of it are minimized while the annoyance is maximized. It's possible we can benefit from some stopgap solutions, like more horticrafting station space, tradeable crafts (like beasts), etc., but many of these come with their own host of issues. They're just bandaids on the crafting mechanic as a whole, which is a product of the itemization design.
TL;DR, thanks for coming to my TEDTalk. General disclaimer that this is my personal opinion of the state of the game, one that I've put way too much time into. It's still fun in a lot of ways, but the more I play the more I see problematic design features creeping their way into the game.
Edit: Well this took off. I've been trying to address arguments from you all as best I can, but there's one I noticed in particular keeps coming up and I think my main post didn't clarify my stance as well as it could've:
I'm not against the idea of RNG. Randomness in itself is not a problem for this genre or most games in general. I am however very much against the argument that, 'well the entire game is randomness so more randomness is fine.' I've tried to address that in this comment, which I'll link instead of reiterating.
submitted by ecstatic1 to pathofexile [link] [comments]

Lockdown 3.0 Things to do, plus help and support.

Disclaimer I want to thank everyone for the gilds, replies and suggestions. I just do not have time to reply to everyone, but I am reading everything. I am not sure how much bigger the thread can be, I already typed this but it vanished so I think I'm at the limit. I will try to keep updating, but I don't expect the thread to be up top for much longer and will likely vanish soon, so if you need anything save it.
Yes, it's hard, it sucks, it's depressing. It is something we all have to do if you want to see this virus go. Everyone knows the deal, too many think they're the exception but no one is. However, staying home is hard so maybe I can help at least one or two people with some incentives. I'll try to give links to some things that can help cure the boredom, and some support if you need it.
Most of this might be obvious to some, some might not even have internet and of course, money is a big issue, so I'll try to give some suggestions:
For streaming and on demand things such as Netflix et al, don't forget you can subscribe for free for your first month. This goes for most things in the list. If you are worried about putting in your payment details and forgetting to cancel a month later, don't worry! You can sign up and immediately cancel and you still get your free month!
For people who don't have a smart TV, you can buy a cheap Amazon Fire TV stick or a Roku box. The Fire stick can go as low as £20 often for 1080p. It will drop to £30 for 4k.
I picked up a 4k Roku device for £18 on Amazon once. It's fast and snappy. currently it's going for £33 for the 4k version. Having both, there is little difference between the devices. NowTV also do their own roku powered device.
Subscription based streaming sites that all offer 2-4 weeks free for first timers
  • Netflix *According to comments the second month is free.
  • Amazon Prime You can either get Amazon video on its own, or take prime with other benefits. I strongly urge those who use Amazon for buying off their store front to use [https://smile.amazon.co.uk/] as there is literally no difference except everything you buy amazon donates to a charity of your choice.
  • Now TV (I believe it's 7 days)
  • Disney+
  • Britbox
  • Amazon channels. I believe you can get all these individually but Amazon offers them as channels bound to your prime account, and they are again either free for a couple weeks (again, take them, cancel instantly) or very cheap. I recently subscribed to Starzplay for £1 for 3 months. It has some good shows on it like Fringe, doom patrol. It also has channels like Curiosity stream and shudder
If you have not subscribed to the any of the above, you can get a few months of free TV by signing up and cancelling instantly. I suggest waiting at least 5 minutes just to let it go through the system.
Some tips for Now TV. IF you already have a subscription, I've noticed you can get it cheaper by cancelling. When you cancel they will beg you to stay. Select "I can not afford it this month" and they should beg again, telling you what shows they have. If you say you still want to cancel, they'll beg one last time and offer you the subscription for cheaper. This won't work every month, but I've noticed they'll always offer it the first time, then again after a couple months. If you're subscribed to both films and entertainment do the most expensive one as it may not work both times (but it might!). You can also pick up passes from storefronts a lot cheaper sometimes, before I could pick one up on Amazon for £3 but, they seem to have cracked down on it. If you shop around (or if anyone knows of a legitimate store please let me know) you might be able to pick it up cheaper. Lastly, check their website and under your account they should have an "offers for you" section.
Completely free TV
If you do have a smart TV and/or device, there are some good free streaming apps. One I really love is called PlutoTV. I know this is on both Roku and the fire stick, as well as Ps4/Ps5 and xbox.
Pluto offers a bunch of live channels and now an on demand section, all for free. It has adverts but they are actually short (shorter than regular TV and fewer of them). Some of the channels are just streaming certain shows like Mythbusters 24/7 or Dog the bounty hunter, but it has a lot of old movie channels as well as 24/7 kickboxing and MMA. It also has a 24/7 poker channel I quite like.
Another one I like is Rakuten Viki however, I haven't watched it for a while as my fire stick is only 1080p and I have too many other devices attached. I believe it is on Roku but you have to jump through some hoops and have an account. The last I checked on the fire stick you did not. Viki offers a metric ton of Asian shows, mainly from Japan and South Korea but it does have chinese, Malaysian etc. It has subtitles. Some Japanese shows are hysterical, albeit weird.
Roku also do their own channels with free shows if you own a device.
For those who don't have a smart TV or a Streaming device, you can set up your own computer as a dedicated streaming device with Plex. It's been a while since I used it but I believe it now also offers free movies and TV.
Anime
If you are into Anime there is
The first 2 are free to watch, or offer premium without ads which you can have a trial with. Crunchyroll is the better of the two with more original choice for Japanese voice and subs, while Funimation has more Dubs. I don't believe HiDive is free to watch but you do get a 2 week trial. These are more exclusives than the previous two.
PC Centric software
If you are a gamer or like Audiobooks or anything that uses computers for things like music making, programming or graphic design
Humble Bundle offers, as per the name, bundles. A long running site that got bought out by IGN. It offers both single items and bundles you can buy individually/as a pack while also offering a separate monthly subscription for around £8-9. The subscription gives you 12 games on average per month. That's the simplest explanation but it changes somewhat as sometimes you get to pick 10 out of 14 games, or get all 12.
Humble bundle offers more than just games though. Every Tuesday they bring a new bundle of games, while Thursday (I "think) a new bundle of books. They very often have books from the Black Library giving you a ton of Warhammer books. Sometimes it's standard E-books, other times it's audiobooks. A few times a year they do bundles for graphic design, a typical bundle would include programs like Paintshop Pro Corel Painter etc, They usually go for £0.76 for tier 1 up to around £18 for tier 3, which would include 4-6 full titles with 10+ addons. They also often have Music making bundles or video editing software as well as Programming or video game development.
The bundles change often, they usually have around 11 bundles at a time that last for 20 days. Sometimes it's trash but they do often have some very good deals.
Fanatical offers the same as humble bundle except usually not as high quality, but sometimes they do have some incredible deals, and they are very very cheap.
Both humble and fanatical are safe, trusted and been around a long time, and they are NOT grey market key sites. They work with the publishers and developers. You can buy games both old and new for a lot cheaper than you would most other places. Unless it states otherwise, keys are usually for steam.
**BOTH HB and Fanatical (HB much more common) offer free games fairly often. The catch is linking your steam account to them (at least HB). It is safe however.
IndieGala is another site like above. Except, these are much much lower quality. However, they offer a metric ton of free games. Quality is low but it is legitimate, and a lot of free stuff.
Game Store Fronts
  • Steam This one is so obvious I didn't add it, but apparently many want me to. It is the best out there, and you can find almost everything, with fantastic deals.
  • Greenmangaming offers games cheaply. Again, not a grey market site (which are legal but unethical) and they sometimes do bundles.
  • GoG (Good old games) is a DRM free site run by CDPR, the makers of the Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk. They offer you games quite cheap and not needing DRM (such as Steam, Uplay etc which is less invasive versions of dodgy DRM from the olden days).
  • Epic Games Despite the controversy whether you care about their rivalry with valve, they offer free games ever week. Without ever having bought anything I have gained over 170 games. literally. Good games for the most part. They often give you £10 coupons as well.
  • Twitch Everyone knows twitch, but if you don't, it's a streaming service for watching gamers and girls with low cut tops accidentally bending over in front of the game. However, if you're signed up to prime, you get free games each month (and randomly between the set bunch).
  • Playstation Store Currently has January sales. Currently the free games for PS+ are for PS4: Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Greedfall. For the Ps5 it is Maneater
  • Games with Gold Bleed 2 and the King of Fighters XIII is available until Janurary 15th whilst little Nightmares is available until January 31st.
Gaming Subscriptions
Like the TV versions, you can sign up to these for a free trial (or very cheap). If you do sign up to only one at a time, it should keep you busy for a few months
  • Xbox Game Pass You can do this on both/either an Xbox or PC. If you sign up to the regular one, you can get a month (maybe three!) for £1. After you have done that, you can sign up to the premium version for 3 months at £1 a month. Most people know game pass, but you can download a large selection of games for free. The premium version gives you games with gold, allowing you to keep the games forever (but can only play with a subscription)
  • Ubisoft+ I'm not 100% sure if you get a trial or not. This allows a large collection of Ubisoft titles to play for £12.99 a month. Quite expensive but good if you like Ubisoft titles I guess.
  • EA Play EA's version. Goes by a ton of names I think, EA Access, EA Play, Origin Access etc etc. There's a couple of versions of this, and it is across all platforms (PS4/5, Xbox, PC) but not sure about the switch. I "think" the premium allows you to play on all platforms, while the cheaper one on a single platform, but I may be mistaken.
  • PS Now a once terrible service that is now actually very good. Allows you to download some Ps4 games to your PS4/5 and lets you stream a massive amount of Ps2/3/4 to your PC or playstation.
There's more like nvidia's service but you need the Shield device which is quite expensive. I'll leave it at that.
Audiobooks & Ebooks
  • Audible Not sure what the current deal is but if you are a prime member you can sign up for a trial and get a free Audiobook each month for 3 months. Some warhammer books are 48 hours long, 3 of those gives you a good 100+ hours of listening!
  • Comixology Another Amazon company, but lets you download some free comics I believe.
  • Marvel Unlimited No experience with this. ItFuckingWont wanted me to add it. A subscription service for Marvel.
Education
  • Sign Language BSL here No experience myself, suggested by n21brown and asked for a few times. Didn't know SL was so popular! Listed as "Pay what you can"
  • BBC's Bitesize here is apparently good for home learning. Again, no personal experience.
If you need some spare change
Okay, I don't generally bother with it, but maybe some of this could be useful to you. These are NOT a quick way to make a fortune. These are small things you can do over time for a bit of pocket change
  • If you have prime you can get a FREE FIVE POUND GIFT CARD by literally just streaming a song from Amazon music (which is included in prime) here is the details According to the comments it's only for select people, but it's worth trying If the link doesn't work for you just google "Amazon £5 coupon music"
  • Now, these sorts of sites have been around for years, I haven't used any other than talkInsights which I must have signed up to 10-15 years ago. Basically they send you surveys and you answer them. They are confidential and don't ask for personal details in the survey. You need 2000 points and you get £20. During the pandemic they've slowed down but I probably get around £40 a year. Not much I know, but it's an email followed by a quick survey ticking boxes. Depending on your answer sometimes you get screened out, I'm not telling you to lie but just be consistent with your answers and you should be able to work out how to not get screened. Some emails are only worth 20 points, others 200. It's slow to get to the 2000 but very quick to just answer a few questions.
  • Apparently beermoneyuk is a good sub to make some pocket change with.
  • There is also matched betting. I have never done this, I don't have the patience but from what I've read, it's legitimate, it works and you can make a fair amount of cash from it so long as you do it correctly, and there's a ton of guides. I mention this because people stuck at home could get into it and as long as you're careful (I.E not entering in the wrong numbers) it's risk free AND it pisses off the betting shops. It seems people in comments have had success with it. Disclaimer A couple have complained about gambling. This arguably is not gambling. If you are susceptible to addiction do not do it. However, it's argued that there is no fun or buzz in this, and it's a very tedious and time consuming thing. Others argue you can't make the same money anymore (People were making thousands, now only hundreds if that). It's risk free providing you know what you're doing, the risks are user error, such as entering the wrong numbers. Someone pointed out that due to the lockdown, bets could potentially be cancelled due to sport stopping. So use on a side of caution. We're (mainly) adults so I'll leave it up just because this doesn't have the excitement of regular gambling.
  • Microsoft Rewards This is an easy way to make pocket change doing very little. Most people have a MS account. The rewards program offers you numerous ways to grab points, by playing free to play games, answering small questions (you don't even need to answer most of the time, just open the link and shut it) and by using bing and searching on it. I've gotten 20k points JUST by answering questions over a couple months. There are many rewards but you can grab a £5 gift card for 6k for example, or a month of game pass (and AFAIK you can make points playing the games)
  • Google rewards Someone mentioned this in the comments. I have not used it, so can not give any input on it. Sounds similar to TalkInsights which I linked. Google states "Complete short surveys while standing in line, or waiting for a subway. Get rewarded with Google Play or PayPal credit for each one you complete. Topics include everything from opinion polls, to hotel reviews, to merchant satisfaction surveys. We’ll notify you when a survey is waiting."
That's it for now. I will try to update as I go along. A long post but I hope that it can help some of you with finding something good to do that's free, cheap or a bargain. I do suggest getting prime, especially since you get free music, free delivery, free TV and music and free video games each month. In fact, there's a ton of perks and I feel I've gotten way over the cost investment.
Hope it helps someone at least
PartTimeCrazy said if you bought an Apple product you get 3 free months of Apple Arcade and Apple TV free for a year
fakehunted is upset I didn't mention wanking. Tesco have 225 sheets of Tissue for £0.75!
tale_lost suggested Project Gutenberg for a collection of free E-Books
Learning Language
Unfortunately, I don't have time to check every link listed so I will link the comments:
Togtogtog Gives a lot of links for Spanish
Board & Tabletop games
Corporal_Anaesthetic has made a list of Board games
ilyemco suggested these
HEALTH
I'm not a doctor! But if you're a smoker, something I strongly suggest is to quit. I struggled for years but in the first lockdown I quit, technically. I haven't had a cigarette since, however, I do that silly thing millennials do. I vape, but, it made quitting extremely easy. I would not have been able to do it if it wasn't for 88Vape They sell extremely cheap liquids at £1 each. You can find these in B&M but you can pick up 25 for £20 or buy your own mix.
Vitamin D deficiency has been said to be a big problem for the virus. I'd suggest (again, not a doctor!) that you pick some up. Tesco do a 3 for 2 deal. So you can pick up 270 tablets for £7.
If you are vulnerable you MIGHT be able to phone tesco and get put on their delivery saver list (currently it's paused but phoning may help. At the very least they might give you a priority slot. I did this for my mum, we didn't shop at Tesco but I phoned for her, and they put her on with no hassle, so she can always get a delivery.
HELP & ADVICE
The lockdown Rules.
Reasons to leave home include:
  • Work or volunteering where it is "unreasonable" to work from home. This includes work in someone else's home, such as that carried out by social workers, nannies, cleaners and tradespeople
  • Education, training, childcare and medical appointments and emergencies
  • Exercise outdoors (limited to once a day). This includes meeting one other person from another household in an open public space to exercise
  • Shopping for essentials such as food and medicine
  • Communal religious worship
  • Meeting your support or childcare bubble. Children can also move between separated parents Activities related to moving house
I want to add, if you are in danger you are also allowed (and must!) to get away from the situation for some reason, BBC seems to have missed this very important thing (or I am blind)
Support
FOR THOSE SHIELDING YOU CAN CONTACT THE ROYAL VOLUNTARY SERVICE. These people helped my mother with picking up her medicine from the chemist. They were very helpful and went out their way to keep in touch and do it immediately. (It's the only experience I have with them though)
_riotingpacifist wanted these links added, but I simply just don't have the time to vet and check all the suggestions here, so I will link as is:
Update:
Digital Art
These are Free
  • Krita Arguably the best in my opinion. It has a load of options, brushes and a decent UI. It works fantastic with a tablet.
  • Gimp This is a decent program but last I used, the UI was a pain, and it isn't so user friendly while misses features, but it works, and it is possible to do some incredible creations on it.
  • Medibang Paint This is slightly geared towards Comics and Manga. I really enjoy using this with my drawing Tablet. As far as I know, it also for regular tablets for Android/Ipad and is free.
You can pick up a drawing tablet on Amazon quite cheap these days! Small ones that are just a black slate such as the wacom ones are good but takes some practice to get use to, but very worth it if you can't afford a dedicated drawing tablet with a screen.
Office suit software
A couple of free applications for word processing, spreadsheets etc.
  • LibreOffice This has most the average user would need to write their own books or to work from home. There's not a huge amount of difference between the two I'm linking (since I last used anyway) so it's more for preference.
  • Open Office You can pick this up here and again, like above it's just preference.
Music Making
I'm going to direct to matthewharris806 for some links as all the programs I've used like Reason are expensive, or cheaper stuff in bundles such as Magix software.
Games development
D_Dad_Default gives some links for that here
submitted by MrSoapbox to unitedkingdom [link] [comments]

A Practical Guide to 💎🙌

TLDR; taking on huge risk and betting everything makes you more prone to paper handing your position at the slightest red. Be smart about your position and your profits. 🦍🦍 💪💪, GME 🚀 🚀 🚀
Alright retards, put on your helmet and take that crayon out of your nose because it's time to get serious.
Diamond handing is important. It's been the most important part of our strategy, no doubt. The concept's easy, but this volatility is enough to age us all 40 years. Not everyone, especially the newer people, are capable of stomaching these drops, so I'd like to offer a more practical (more realistic maybe) guide to diamond handing. At the very least, this guide will help you be more confident in your positions and greatly decreasing your odds of being a little bitch that sells at the first sign of red.
​
If you're just joining us now and bought any of the hyped stocks at current prices or higher:
  1. Educate yourself. You bought a stock, which is ownership of a company. Understand the fundamentals behind what your company. DD is not something WSB is lacking in. You have a searchbar. You have eyes. (I mean, unless you don't. That's cool too. Have someone read you DD out loud like a bedtime story. :) ) I really like this DD on Gamestop if you want to learn some more about Gamestop. I don't know (and don't care) about any of the other stocks, so you're on your own. Educate yourself on the company you own a portion of and you'll be less prone to paper hand.
  2. Don't sell at a loss. It's just retarded. Fear is one of the worst human emotions and you'll never make money in the market if you're scared of a little red. So if you can't stand that you're down 10% on a stock that swings 50% a day, why did you buy it in the first place? Similarly, if you're down 50% on a stock, it makes no sense to sell it when it pretty much can only go up from there. This isn't to say that stop loss isn't important but I feel like I'll do more harm by trying to explain to you retards on when to use it. So for now, while the hype is still there, just hold.
  3. Only invest what you can afford to lose. Don't overleverage. Don't use margin. Seriously, if you're struggling to put food on the table and your last $10 are in AMC like a retard, this game really isn't for you. The reason is that you're so scared for your money that you will make the worst possible decisions at the worst time and lose that money. Don't underestimate fear and desperation. This isn't just a get rich quick scheme.
  4. When you're up bigly, congratulations! You win. Follow the advice for OGs.
​
If you're an OG and bought Gamestop when it was double digits:
  1. Congratulations you big chad! :)
  2. Consider taking a little bit of profit. If you bought Gamestop at like $12, you are up bigly, no doubt, but it can be extremely nerve wrecking to watch your portfolio erase three years of your Wendy's salary in an hour and so you can be prone to paper handing. It will really be much easier if you sell a tiny portion of your shares to at least cover the initial deposit. That way, if Gamestop goes down to $0 (when hell freezes over, but you never know), you at least break even. It'll be easier to sleep at night. I mean, even Deepfuckingvalue does it. Be smart about it.
​
Anyway, it's hard to diamond hand consistently if you have trouble sleeping at night due to how overleveraged you are. It's like a diet fad. The chad that limits himself by 100 calories but sticks to it consistently will do better than the retard trying to fast 72 hours when he's never gone 30 minutes without a sugar donut.
Be realistic and take care of yourself. It's far easier to stay consistent by doing that.
If anybody has any questions on Gamestop, stocks, or options, feel free to ask in the comments. My DMs are open too if you're shy 😳 👉👈.
​
Positions: A fuckton of GME, bought both at $14 and at $300. I buy every dip and hold, I've sold my entire portfolio to feed my GME gambling addiction but I've also sold 8% of my shares to cover my initial investment so it truly doesn't matter anymore if it goes tits up.
Not investment advice. I have one braincell.
submitted by itsleis to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

The Break Up of Alex & Sofia: A Psychoanalysis

got asked to make this it’s own post, so i did. For reference, keep in mind I’m 28F (so split between them age wise) and was an athlete in undergrad though not in a sport anyone cared about cause who tf cares about track
Friendship break ups are really hard, especially for women in their 20’s.
For women, that time period is usually the first times they’re actually enabled to make our own decisions, including through sexual empowerment. Freedom from your parents. Your female friendships are often therapeutic in this setting, as they’re the first people who really “understand” you. ESPECIALLY if you’re at a school with casual hook up culture, female friendships can especially protect you from being drugged while you navigate the novelty of casual sex under various substance influence.
At least from the outside perspective, this is how it seems: disclaimer this is psychoanalytical af no I don’t think I’m “definitely” right
However, sports psychology is poor. Sports psychology for women even more so.
Female sports don’t command money (in part because we engrain that in our culture)
For a female athlete in college, you’re raised on a pedestal by other collegiate members (“narps”)
Then, you leave college and are pretty much on a level playing field, because that national prestige or ability to remain an athlete and be profitable isnt as realistic or available for women (yet?/it probably shouldn’t be a huge goal to play a game for a living just saying. The other work environments and hours shouldn’t be so shitty that’s the only version of happiness you can imagine but i digress)
Alex happened to leave college and be an athlete’s girlfriend. An athlete within baseball, whose wives’ club mentality is one of the most misogynistic (my brother went back to back to back national championship games in baseball in college. The fan base is incredibly white as it relates to America’s pastime and racism). I’ve posted before about the overlaps in barstools culture with this.
Alex had fuel coming in from needing to be better than her ex. She has fuel in general, as most athletes do, from needing to be better than XYZ. Track is actually helpful in that regard because it’s always racing against yourself, ultimately. Your own PRs. But for soccer, what happens when you no longer have a field to play on? Who are your new opponents? Where is your team?
Sofia and Alex’s friendship came at the cusp of their combined lowest mental points. On a time when they were essentially on their own. They had had to be solo and strong because of their circumstances, mentally and fiscally to an extent (even if they ultimately had parental support or pressure to fall back on). In the process of building CHD, they built each other up, and used their tragedies and lack of caring about other’s mentalities to show it was profitable, smart, and powerful to be a sexually empowered female in a male world.
That’s what so many of us wanted. (Literally the Tyra Banks meme “we were all rooting for you!” Comes to mind) especially for collegiate aged women, sexual empowerment and discussion is NEW and still very culturally based. Women can be sexual but only privately versus men can discuss sexual conquests openly and aren’t thought poorly of if it doesn’t work out with a partner. You don’t assume something is “wrong” with them. You don’t remind them “their clock is ticking”. Hypersexuality is part response to purity culture and likely a response to a heavy atmosphere of sexual trauma and being casual towards it is destigmatizing it inwardly.
But money corrupts.
Power corrupts more so.
Combine both with Alex internalizing that the brand that gave her so much power and happiness and joy to work, during a dark period of her life, as a tangible result of how she was better (than her exes, everyone that’s wronged her, etc) as potentially being taken away from her by sofia (in the deal on the rooftop), versus by Dave (who was very manipulative in his “I keep 100% of the IP and all of your stories and all of YOUR content”) and this is where the break down in how they responded comes in:
Can we blame her? Isnt that a facet of current sporting culture? Do you actually expect someone who has grown up in the wings of the public eye, whose parental role models were in sporting culture, to not embrace that spotlight? Particularly when her ex who caused her pain has that spotlight and is somebody’s version of a sex symbol? Why can’t she want it for herself?
Alex ALSO has mental health issues, and the combination of living and working with someone else struggling with something so heavy and not having a medically appropriate background to know how to help was likely incredibly toxic for their friendship.
I’m sure it made some great content, but it was clear they didn’t embody or encourage healthy behavior.
Their own healing is going to be subjective. It’s not going to coincide. It’s not going to operate on the same scales or in the same direction and they’ll need different things. Such as separation when one person no longer serves you.
My therapist reminded me “just because someone was a good friend to you at one point in your life doesn’t mean they still are”
To her, it’s the same thing. Especially if she had frequent ghost writers. It was never her content to begin with. Which, ultimately, makes her just a sex symbol for a male dominated gaze who may very well be financially compensated adequately (NOW) but is ultimately manipulated for the entertainment of others. If that’s your whole life, and what you’ve always done... who are you?
Like with child stars or actors in general, you feed off energy i imagine. Extroverted people are almost more vulnerable to social coercion than others. To me, this enables them to be more susceptible to thriving off external validation and avoid the reality of who they are and that they don’t like themselves internally/struggle with who they are as a person (or just don’t know who they are without XYZ existing. If you’ve always been in sports, especially one single sport, your identity is tied to that. You don’t have the time or energy to question who you are. It takes years after graduating or being removed from that atmosphere to do so.) Alex now has money, time, and comes from rich white privilege. She likely will never have people who tell her it’s okay to struggle, because it seems like her family and general friend group is the “everything is fine. Here’s some money. Look! You can travel. You turned out okay”
I’m sure she’ll have a time period later in life where she has this recognition.
However, the CHD brand was built around the symbolism of a female friendship.
Of female empowerment in a patriarchal world.
The sexual empowerment worked because, at the end of the day, you had this community of people who understood you were just trying to figure out yourself and willing to laugh with you at your negativity. Not laughing at you. A community of people who were able to embrace, applaud, and financially reward you for sexual prowess when you’ve been told to dim it your entire life “to be taken seriously”. A community who LIKED the self deprecation because it was RELATABLE because we likely ALL have or know someone with sexual trauma related to drinking/college culture and dating is hard and flaunted like you’re always supposed to be in a relationship, especially if you’re attractive 🙄
Abiding to the influencer brand of how CHD has gone since “the break up” and how Alex has people like Tana—who exploit their childhood abuse, not so they can learn how to be healthier and live happier lifestyles or draw attention to substance abuse, but so they can continue to party in LA with idiotic “celebs” whose only contribution to the community positively is through money. Who go riot malls for YouTube material. Who are stuck in their own cycles of abuse and unhealthy behavior but vlog about the glamour and think “talking about it” is the same thing as “healing” because they won’t go to actual therapy even though they can afford it now. Who don’t realize they’re desensitizing themselves to the trauma by letting random men they barely know choke them out versus addressing how fucked up it was that they were raped as a child, or that their parents couldn’t protect them, or that they needed validation or father figures and only got it from their peers and just wanted an escape from reality and now need one ALL THE TIME. Who dont realize those people they think embrace them won’t embrace them when they’re sober and actually healthy, because it reminds them of how they’re not. But it’s scary to recognize that and you internalize it as not being loveable versus being brought up in unhealthy environments and not knowing better.
Maybe with time, Alex will look back and realize the strength of female friendships lies in being there for each other in darkest times because humanity definitely doesn’t have your back.
In the USA, 1 in 5 women are or will be attempted to be raped in their lifetime, over 80% have been sexually harassed.
And yet, prostitution is not legal. Birth control is not freely accessible. Universal healthcare and comprehensive sexual education is not nationally mandated so a lot of people may never realize just how fucked up their circumstances are. Education is often unaffordable and inaccessible for those who most need it. Sexual harassment is so normalized that we voted in a president despite him being a rapist pedophile. And 55% of white women tried to vote him in again. The visual leader of the Barstool brand endorsed him openly.
Sofia wanting to distance herself from a brand and drinking culture, at a company currently breaking into alcohol and gambling exploitation, on the basis that the majority of their fan base may not have done it otherwise, but will because they now have access to it (like with how Juuls target teenagers with flavoring and people who wouldn’t have normally smoked have nicotine addictions now) as well as FINALLY being paid adequately, YET was labeled as “greedy” mainly because Alex stayed instead of trusting Sofia and sticking with her.
We normalize competition in the sense that most people are competing for just the right to live, for acknowledgment that the things they went through matters. It’s why working classes are currently pitted against each other and conservative Republicans think progressive policies are sure to doom the USA because Fox News says so. So instead of making our citizens stronger overall, we keep half of them convinced that healthcare should be debated, an educated population isnt good on a global scale, and that change ISNT possible even though societies are supposed to adapt that’s literally how progress works. We have research that shows us why we should do it and instead capitalism made education so elite that we distrust intelligence or condemn it as “liberal education”.
So do I blame Alex for her inability to recognize that when she thought she was going to lose the brand that made that feasible for her? Maybe not.
Do I think Sofia got fucked mentally, friendship-wise, and culturally and Alex enabled and fed into it? Absolutely.
Even if CHD was always the “Mean Girls” mentality and didn’t ever really offer advice, Alex embodied “Regina George” and Sofia was “Cady Heron” in its time.
Good female friendships are awesome, and hard to come by in a world that makes it so and makes you convinced you have to somehow compete for these men when the bar is on the actual ground for chivalry and women just want men who won’t scream or yell at them, will communicate, and will explore sexually in the bedroom without stigmatizing them or making them feel bad for their bodies.
Shout out to anyone who read my dissertation.
I’ve been in quarantine on a farm working remote contracts for almost a year now. I’ve also watched a lot of LOTR in the past week and barstool and Dave is going a very “Sauron” way and Alex embodies “saruman” vibes to me, for another allusion.
submitted by survivalmodez to CallHerDaddy [link] [comments]

Some observations on WSB and the future of trading

Hello autists. I'm sitting here in my retard palace reflecting on how my idea of the market has changed since I dove into this sub right around the beginning of last year. I first visited WSB a couple years ago but was quickly overwhelmed with all the abbreviations and inside jokes. At the time I dismissed it as a nihilistic financial-prank hellhole where people with nothing to lose YOLO'd their money away and that it was encouraged and that everyone was just trying to throw away their money. While that does happen obviously, I think there's a much bigger macro-vision of this sub that is changing things forever in the market.
In my opinion, nothing demonstrates this macro-vision better than the narrative surrounding GME. To have a talking head that my dad would watch when I was a kid continue to reference this sub on TV and say that we're in control is insane. At the same time, this exposure could be a death sentence. We are in a precarious situation now where the volume of users here really makes us a stupidly strong retail entity if we all choose to rally behind something. It's cool, but it's also a liability. The number of braindead questions that have flooded the daily threads since the GME rally began has been immense, and that's only counting the comments that made it through whatever automatic filters the mods set up here. Because of this volume, it's going to increase our exposure to the media exponentially. There have already been tons of articles written about WSB, but none of them have gotten to the point of putting on the blame for something financially devastating. With the influence we have over the market (at least when there's an agreed upon general sentiment here) it's only a matter of time until we upset the wrong suit on Wall Street and they try to see what they can do to fuck up the operation here.
I hope it doesn't come to that because I really do think the camaraderie here is something special. On first visit it seemed like a mean, uninviting place, but what I've realized is that people do look out for each other here. When someone does something 'retarded' like take every cent to their name and put it into weeklies, they get called retarded (because they are), but they'll also get comments like 'no one has ever lost money taking a profit' when it's time to go. There's a bond over degenerate lack-of-financial-responsibility, but it's all in the name of pursuing financial independence in a brute-force manner and attempting to stand up to a system that has never shown much care for those not deemed worthy to be a part of it.
I know there's a flip side to all of this. There's the idea of gambling addiction, the idea that you see a lot more people post about their wins than losses, confirmation bias, and that a lot of people won't make it out the other end with a profit, but that goes for most systems in life. It still feels great to see someone here find the life they never thought they could have, buy that car, provide for that family member, etc. And maybe it doesn't last or they test their luck and lose their gains, but no one ever said we weren't retarded.
Point is...All eyes are on us, especially after all the TSLA gains last year. We will see how the GME chapter unfolds this year, but it is undeniable that the media exposure and influence this sub holds is only going to increase, and with that there's a lot to consider amongst ourselves as to what the primary tone and function of this space is. To not anticipate hordes of normies and suited wall-streeters continuing to infiltrate the space is to underestimate the growth that will take place whether we want it to or not. I believe, when we look back on it in the future, that this chapter of WSB began last year around the crash in March, but there's no denying it's a new chapter nonetheless. It's only gonna get crazier.
WSB to the moon.
submitted by stopearthmachine to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

A Little Help for our Friends with Zac Clark: RECAP

The hosts say that his proposal made them teary.
Asked to expand on his story of addiction and recovery.
First notice of the addiction being a problem.
Challenging part about working in recovery.
Family’s importance and that dynamics.
His experience and his family.
Definition of hitting a rock bottom.
Sobriety
Release Recovery and his work.
Recovery and life in general
WHAT A GUY!!!
Very rarely do you hear someone who is so self-aware, kind, humble and eloquent.
Please listen to this because the hosts were amazing too. They let him speak and he didn't hold back.
submitted by RemarkablyCrazy_007 to thebachelor [link] [comments]

My Homelessness Perspective

I debated making this post for awhile because I normally just comment in replies to other things. But someone came across an old post and thought I should share directly, particularly given the influx of homeless discussion.
I'm a homeless person in the area. I lived on paid campgrounds in the region when the weather was nicer and now when I have the cash, I stay in motels. So I'm not someone on the lawn, chopping up bikes (I actually sold mine for $50 to pay for another room night) I'm a nobody and you've probably stood in line next to me and had no idea I was homeless because I do everything in my power to keep it together. But I cry a lot and the longer this goes on, the more difficult it is to climb out of because literally everything in society is working against you and I don't think many people realize the logistics of how difficult homelessness can be.
I lost my job literally the week after the NBA shut down. For what it's worth, my former boss got a six figure PPP loan (it was on ProPublica which is how I found out) and I haven't heard from them since. Other than when I had to fight some reporting stuff that they messed up. The shitty thing too is, the company made multiple millions of dollars. Still in business. Still operating btw. Anyway...
I was raised in foster care, so I don't have a family to run to when times get tough. All of my IRL friends live in Canada and I was actually in the IEC working visa pool and hoping to go over, get work experience, make connections, and eventually immigrate there permanently. My friends there are like my family, but there's nothing they can do to bring me over because we aren't blood related and they can send me some money but the exchange rate sucks and so do all the exchange fees. They really just don't know how this country just lets people struggle. But the pool suspended draws in March and at the end of last year, they fully closed it out. There hasn't been any announcement on if they'll ever bring it back and jesus christ I feel so fucked.
So, I want to explain how people end up in situations like mine. I was on a short term lease and it didn't get renewed. It was probably for the better anyway because my former roommate was talking about stabbing Jews like Soros to end the pandemic. (I'm Jewish.) Oh and she owns a business in town.
That was early on in the pandemic when I lost my previous place and I thought honestly this would be over by summer, my job would ask me back and it wouldn't be an issue, so I rented airbnbs even though they were pricey. I don't think many people thought this would all go on as long as it did either.
Then I had car issues (tires balded completely, brakes, rotors, and tired rods iirc? I needed a whole lot of shit done.) Then I got really sick too and medical bills were an arm and leg. I was applying to places to live and my credit was going to obviously get dinged with maxing out credit cards and having unpaid medical bills would just obviously make me a shitty candidate to rent to.
But through June I tried applying to places. But those are hard credit pulls and I did...a number of them over 2-3 months to try my damndest. However, I can't get approved for housing because I'm unemployed and have been unemployed for months. I don't make enough from sex work other than to cover some nights nor is that a viable "job" to most people. I don't have a WA cosigner, hell I don't have ANY cosigner that lives in America, so that takes me out of the running of the vast vast majority of places. And not only that, a number of landlords would only take me if I could pay something like $5k or pay the full amount of the lease upfront. One woman almost rented a room to me, but I have now no "recent" landlord for them to reference and call. When I explained to her I was living in a motel, she called me homeless scum looking for a place to do drugs. One of my friends tried to "act" as a former landlord, but they looked up property records and he wanted to arrest me for fraud. I was just desperate for a place to live (and I want to share this story too because a lot of people make VERY VERY VERY bad suggestions to homeless people.)
I don't even drink in this goddamn state full of craft breweries. I don't like NOT having my wits about me. So no, I'm not some tweaker that does drugs. I also cannot fucking stand the smell of marijuana. I'm a lame ass square. But it doesn't matter because every single stereotype is what you are when you are homeless.
You can't rent a room without having CURRENT employment THAT PAYS THE RENT. So a part time, 10 hour a week gig at $15 McD's won't qualify you for housing. I don't know what is so difficult about understanding that but people really seem to struggle with that. You need to make at least 3-4x to qualify for anything, including just a bedroom.
And? You can't rent without RECENT landlord to reference. It's one of the several sneaky requirements they throw in there in order to make it damn near impossible for someone who is homeless to get permanent housing.
Mentally, it's all a constant waking nightmare. I have to try to figure out the best prices on places to stay, I have to make lots of calls, I apply for aid, I have to stay warm, I have to try to sleep, I have to try to promote my sex work, I have to try to think if there's any future for me. It's exhausting.
"Now you're wondering why not go to the shelter?"
I did one night and I had to fight off assault. I know another girl who was raped and she attempted suicide and had to be committed. PLEASE stop thinking this shit doesn't happen in this town just because your homes cost half a million fucking dollars.
Most people may not also understand the restrictions or lack of dignity that occurs at a lot of shelters. Some shelters force you to change into scrubs they provide, so it feels like prison. You can't keep your stuff on you. It's very time restrictive, so if you are working later than the entry time, you're totally fucked. Or if you need to go to work, you can also be fucked for violating the rules. It's also just full of people who are screaming at night from the mental anguish this shit leaves you in. It's literally sleeping among nightmares.
A lot of aid in town and in general, America, is run by churches or "loosely affiliated religious organizations". I have been point blank asked to convert in order to get help. I'm ethnically Jewish and I dunno how they can't quite get that I can't exactly convert into a new ethnicity. The synagogue in this county has been closed and offers zero aid or help. Also LOTS of charities focus strictly on families and there is also one in town for young adults (under 24.) While I understand that's important, there isn't a lot of help for people like me in their mid-30s or who are single.
"Why not apply for affordable housing?"
Well, most people don't even know that the waiting lists are closed for 1 bedrooms. The list is 5-10+ y e a r s long. Many people have probably never visited it, despite constantly suggesting it to me: https://bellinghamhousing.org/home/applicants/open-waitlist/ go ahead and tell me what's open and what's closed. And that's the waiting list- that's not even you getting housing tomorrow.
"You must make a lot sex working!"
90% of OnlyFans accounts make under $50 a month. It's not the money maker you think it is, earning even $100 is hard work. Processors take huge chunks of earnings, then you have transfer fees, and yeah it's a lot to be desired. There's also the mental toll it can take. Also, I'm not a hot young college thing, I have a specific niche and it doesn't really pay.
So just a few other things, especially as it concerns food:
People want to help and I get that. And you're like "goddammit what can I do?"
Just hand people money.
Just give people the dignity that they know how to prioritize their needs.
Research continually bares this out: https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/09/americas/direct-giving-homeless-people-vancouver-trnd/index.html
Don't give me coats, I have one. The one you gave me probably won't fit or if I'm allergic to wool, I will have no use for it. (I'm not allergic to wool, but people are!)
Don't give me things I haven't asked for in general. Someone send me a PM saying they have a twin bed I could have. Uh, I have a bed in storage, no thanks. They called me a cunt and told me to kill myself.
Don't hand me lotto tickets. Most scratch offs are loser tickets and then it looks like I'm wasting my money on gambling. You also have no idea who might have be struggling with or recovering from a gambling addiction.
Don't donate your trash and expect me to grateful. You gave me the work of throwing away your garbage and reminding me that's all I am to you and the community.
Don't bitch about homelessness and in the same breath fight Section 8 or assume shit about housing vouchers. If you're a landlord in this town, maybe you ought to accept vouchers and actually try to be a force for good. Or bitch about how minimum wage is too high. It ain't high enough.
Don't send me a PM saying you have a room for me to stay in or will "take me out on a date" to get me food. That's taking advantage of someone. That's also really fucking unsafe. If you do allow homeless and jobless people a place to stay, put that on your facebook or craigslist ad publicly or respond back when someone does explain their situation. (Note: and while I sex work, I'm not an in/outcall worker or an escort. I'm not going to have sex with you or put myself in an incredibly dangerous situation.)
Don't criticize people who are homeless who are trying to tell you what they actually need- you do not know their needs. Please stop assuming you do.
You can encourage groups to just give straight cash grants. If you absolutely are committed to give giftcards, do them for useful places like Target, Walmart, grocery stores, etc. where someone can buy toiletries, clothing, etc. Don't send me a $5 giftcard to like Cabela's. The closest one is a drive away and what can I do with that? I would spend more in gas to get to one. In the same vein, someone offered me a giftcard to like a steakhouse in Seattle. I hope you can understand how those aren't useful.
You can also hold your church, your preferred charity org, etc. ACCOUNTABLE. Actually look what they require of applicants for aid, ask them for how they advertise to the public and what their outreach is, ask how much is going to people, demand transparency.
"Okay, so I want to give to United Way--"
Wait. Stop. PLEASE understand that United Way is a passthrough organization. It's a middle man. They just help fund other charities and they obviously skim off the top as "operating expenses". Likewise, I saw here and on facebook lots of folks donating to Whatcom Community Foundation. They also do not provide any direct aid. It's also a middle man. Listen, I understand they fund a few scholarships and help promote nonprofits and I'm NOT saying it's bad or the worst idea ever, but if we are talking about the most direct, most efficient, and most bang for your buck, just hand your dollars to people struggling.
Hand me $5 and that can go towards my storage unit or cell phone bill or private mailbox or gas or insurance. It can go towards supplements, it can go towards getting a warm cup of soup, or it can go towards another night of a safe warm place to stay. Other sex workers, my friends in Canada, and a couple nice souls on reddit who have helped via paypal/cashapp/venmo? That's been THE reason I've stayed afloat, it's the been THE reason I can stand next to you in line at Target and I don't reek of piss because I was able to actually have a real shower. It has NOT been because of nonprofit organizations.
I think it's really important for people to understand that some bills, some bad luck, and some pandemic fuckery can easily spiral your life into daily struggling and homelessness. It's not easy to move and most of our safety net requires you to have a robust social network. I hope one day I can migrate to Canada, but now I need to resave thousands of dollars to qualify for any visa and to be brutal with you, my chances of achieving that dream and being able to have a real life again are very slim. I'll soon age out of IEC Working Holiday visa and I simply don't have tens of thousands of dollars to pay for graduate school as an alternate way in. It's a hard road ahead for me to get through until I can even get the vaccine.
My hope in sharing this lengthy long diatribe is that it causes you to think and critique the institutions we have. Please think about how you can truly help and what that looks like in action. Not everyone's struggles are the same, especially not everyone's homeless struggles, but thank you for reading mine.
Edit: Thank you again for reading this and really taking it to heart, I really appreciate the kindness and gratitude show. I honestly didn't think anyone would even read this. If anyone else is homeless or struggling or on the verge, I don't take any mind to you sharing your story too and please feel free to just send me a message that this sucks and I'm here to listen to bitching because lordy I get it. xo
submitted by shinygingerprincess to Bellingham [link] [comments]

My (40F) husband (40M) committed financial infidelity and I’m struggling moving forward.

Long time lurker first time poster, throwaway as my husband knows my main account.
My story is not up for fodder elsewhere.
I’m looking for some outside perspective on a situation that has been ongoing for 4 years now. Aside from this situation my husband was/is an amazing husband and dad. He is hands on, does a lot around the house, he puts us all first and is the type of husband and dad everyone prays for which is why this is so conflicting. 4 years ago my (40F) husband (40M) (together 12 years at that point with 3 kids) quit his job to run a business. I was completely onboard and supportive, said I would work extra if needed to help get the business rolling and gave the go ahead.
Throughout the first year I’d check in and ask if we were making enough for our bills, if I needed to work extra, ask about different things. During that time we planned a trip to the happiest place on earth, went out for lunch at least twice a week and bought a lot of luxuries we never had previously. My husband was in charge of our finances.
There were a few red flags I noticed, the gas company sent an employee out to shut off the gas - I was told it was an oversight and a payment was made right then to stop the disconnection. One of our bank accounts was in the negative and I was told that it was another oversight and money was switched from one account to the other making up for the mistake. I wanted something new for our house I would need to finance and was rejected for my income to debt ratio being too high, was told to pay off the CCs and I would qualify. My husband told me the amount the CCs were, I worked extra and they were paid and still I didn’t qualify. I felt uneasy and again asked if everything was being paid and was assured we were in good financial standing.
Fast forward another year and my husband told me it was time he had to get a job, business was slow, he was bored and so he got a job. I started receiving phone calls of CC debt. The first time it happened, my husband told me it was a scam and showed me the account they claimed I owed a huge amount on- it was at a $0 balance. The next time I just hung up believing it was a scam. The third time I sat my husband down and asked what was going on. I had to beg, plead and cry to get an answer. He told me we had x amount in CC debt, I was shocked. I made a budget to pay off the debt ASAP. As I was working extra to pay it off I asked multiple times if there was more debt or anything else, was promised there wasn’t- I forgave my husband, he said he didn’t want to worry me with finances and to be proud of him and he just didn’t know how to get out of the hole he dug. The CCs were used to pay our regular bills but also to keep up the facade that he was successful. I did scour every single account to be sure he wasn’t gambling or had an addiction I didn’t know about, he was clean there. I also felt guilty that he had shouldered this all on his own and felt that I should take at least some responsibility- I shouldn’t have been so hands off.
I worked extra and the debt was paid off in 2 months (love DOT). I received another call from the original debt collector that started this chain reaction that I still owed x amount- my husband denied it at first, then said he forgot about it and then after begging and pleading for the truth told me it was true and he had actually showed me a bogus account that had $0 balance on it. I told him our marriage was over as I had already said previously that if anything else came up after promising it was only x amount I could not forgive and move forward.
Long story short, as I was working extra to pay the new amounts off, my checks were garnished by the IRS for mistakes made on previous tax returns. It was then I found out that mail was being hidden as well and it could have all been avoided with a payment plan. He also admitted to tampering with our tax returns for extra money. I also found out that it was my name on ALL the credit cards/debts. There were days he spent all day telling me how he was on the phone with debt collectors working things out only to find out a month later that those situations never happened, he was just placating me because he was scared of what I would do. There was one debt that he swore we didn’t owe and he got angry with me for asking him to call the company in front of me. He did so and yelled at the agent and hung up- only to find out he knew we owed the money and was saving face by yelling at an innocent person.
During this time we were in counseling, together and individually. It came out that he is a pleaser and will do anything/say anything not to “get in trouble.” He took psych tests and had evaluations done and continues to do counseling to this day because he wants to be a better man. I took over the finances and we are now debt free and are in great financial standing. I agreed to stay but we live more as roommates on my end. He is upset (but respects my boundaries) that I am not interested in a traditional marriage. I have tried to work through the anger, the bitterness and try to understand how this happened and I do understand why he initially lied and forgive him for that but I can’t get over the repeated lies which spanned over an entire year and only came out because I begged and pleaded and got phone calls and garnishments etc.
I stayed because I do love him as a person, he makes me laugh and we are compatible in every other way and like I said he is an amazing dad and husband other than this nightmare. But I am not romantic with him, I have no interest in that aspect as I feel disrespected and honestly would yell at any other woman about how dumb they are that stayed through something like this. He on the other hand is waiting for the day that I wake up and am his wife again. I don’t foresee this happening, I feel nothing sexual towards him yet I do feel love and smile when I think of him. I’m so conflicted. I don’t want to waste his life staying with me when he could find someone to give him everything he needs, yet at the same time I enjoy his company and all he does for our family and honestly would miss him.
Full disclosure I have NO interest in ever being with anyone else so even if we did separate I’d be single for the rest of my life. We’ve also talked about him leaving and still coming over to see the kids every day and he said he’d still do everything he does now so really there’s no reason to separate if he’ll be here all the time anyway. It would just devastate the kids and take finances away from them.
I don’t know what I’m looking for here, I go back and forth daily. Has anyone been through this and come out the other side intact? The counselor acknowledges my feelings and also acknowledges that my husband loves and adores me and has done everything he can to be a better version of himself and at this point there’s nothing more to be done as he continues to seek guidance and do everything I’ve asked of him.
TL:DR my husband committed financial infidelity and I’ve stayed as a roommate and he wants more. Wondering if I’m being selfish for not wanting more than friendship even though I do love him and he is a wonderful dad.
Edited to make it easier to read
submitted by thrwawyneedadvice1 to relationships [link] [comments]

Old Austin Tales: Forgotten Video Arcades of The 1970s & 80s

In the late 1980s and early 1990s when I was a young teen growing up in far North Austin, it was a popular custom for many boys in the neighborhood to assemble at the local Stop-N-Go after school on a regular basis for some Grand Champion level tournaments in Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat. The collective insistence of our mothers and fathers to get out of the house, get some exercise, and refrain from playing NES or Sega on the television only led us to seek out more video games at the convenience store down the road. Much allowance and lunch money was spent as well as hours that should have been devoted to homework among the 8 or 9 regular boys in attendance, often challenging each other to 'Best of 5' matches. I myself played Dhalsim and SubZero, and not very well, so I rarely ever made it to the 5th match. The store workers frequently kicked us out for the day only to have us return when they weren't working the counter anymore if not the next day.
There is something about that which has been lost in the present day. While people can today download the latest games on Steam or PSN or in the app store on your smartphone, you can't just find arcade games in stores and restaurants like you used to be able to. And so the fun of a spontaneous 8 or 10 person multiplayer video game tournament has been confined to places like bars, pool halls, Pinballz or Dave&Busters.
But in truth it was that ubiquity of arcade video games, how you could find them in any old 7-11 or Laundromat, which is what killed the original arcades of the early 1980s before the Great Crash of 1983 when home video game consoles started to catch up to what you saw in the arcade.
I was born in the mid 1970s so I missed out on Pong. I was kindergarten age when the Golden Age of Arcade Games took place in the early 1980s. There used to be a place called Skateworld on Anderson Mill Road that was primarily for roller skating but had a respectable arcade in its own right. It was there that I honed my skills on the original Tron, Pac Man, Galaga, Pole Position, Defender, and so many others. In the 1980s I remember visiting all the same mall arcades as others in my age group. There was Aladdin's Castle in Barton Creek Mall, The Gold Mine in Highland, and another Gold Mine in Northcross which was eventually renamed Tilt. Westgate Mall also had an arcade but being a north austin kid I never went there until later in the mid 1990s. There were also places like Malibu Grand Prix and Showbiz Pizza and Chuck-E-Cheeze, all of which had fairly large arcades for kids which were the secondary attraction.
If you're of a certain age you will remember Einsteins and LeFun on the Drag. They were there for a few decades going back way before the Slacker era. Lesser known is that the UT Student Union basement used to have an arcade that was comparable to either or both of those places. Back in the pre-9/11 days it was much easier to sneak in if you even vaguely looked like you could be a UT student.
But there was another place I was too young to have experienced called Smitty's up further north on 183 at Lake Creek in the early 1980s. I never got to go there but I always heard about it from older kids at the time. It was supposed to have been two stories of wall to wall games with a small snack bar. I guess at the time it served a mostly older teen crowd from Westwood High School and for that reason younger kids my age weren't having birthday parties there. It wasn't around very long, just a few years during the Golden Age of Arcades.
It is with almost-forgotten early arcades like that in mind that I wanted to share with y'all some examples of places from The Golden Age of the Video Arcade in Austin using some old Statesman articles I've found. Maybe someone of a certain age on here will remember them. I was curious what they were like, having missed out by being slightly too young to have experienced most of them first hand. I also wanted to see the original reaction to them in the press. I had a feeling there was some pushback from school/parent/civic groups on these facilities showing up in neighborhood strip malls or next to schools, and I was right to suspect. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First let's list off some places of interest. Be sure to speak up if you remember going to any of these, even if it was just for some other kid's birthday party. Unfortunately some of the only mentions about a place are reports of a crime being committed there, such as our first few examples.
Forgotten Arcade #1
Fun House/Play Time Arcade - 2820 Guadalupe
June 15, 1975
ARCADE ENTHUSIASM
A gang fight involving 20 30 people erupted early Saturday morning in front of an arcade on Guadalupe Street. The owner of the Fun House Arcade at 282J Guadalupe told police pool cues, lug wrenches, fists and a shotgun were displayed during the flurry. Police are unsure what started the fisticuffs, but one witness at the scene said it pitted Chicanos against Anglos. During the fight the owner of the arcade said a green car stopped at the side of the arcade and witnesses reported the barrel of a shotgun sticking out. The crowd wisely scattered and only a 23-year-old man was left lying on the ground. He told police he doesn't know what happened.
March 3, 1976
ARCADE ROBBED
A former employee of Play Time Arcade, 2820 Guadalupe, was charged Tuesday in connection with the Tuesday afternoon robbery of his former business. Police have issued a warrant for the arrest of Ronnie Magee, 22, of 1009 Aggie Lane, Apt. 306. Arcade attendant Sam Garner said he had played pool with the suspect an hour before the robbery. He told police the man had been fired from the business two weeks earlier. Police said a man walked in the arcade about 2:45 p m. with a blue steel pistol and took $180. Magee is charged with first degree aggravated robbery. Bond was set on the charge at $15,000.
First it was called Fun House and then renamed Play Time a year later. I'm not sure what kind of arcade games beyond Pong and maybe Asteroids they could have had at this place. The peak of the Pinball craze was supposed to be around 1979, so they might have had a few pinball machines as well. A quick search of youtube will show you a few examples of 1976 video games like Death Race. The location is next to Ken's Donuts where PokeBowl is today where the old Baskin Robbins location was for many years.
Forgotten Arcade #2
Green Goth - 1121 Springdale Road
May 15, 1984
A 23-year-old man pleaded guilty Monday to a January 1983 murder in East Austin and was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Jim Crowell Jr. of Austin admitted shooting 17-year-old Anthony Rodriguez in the chest with a shotgun after the two argued outside the Green Goth, a games arcade at 1121 Springdale Road, on Jan. 23, 1983. Crowell had argued with Rodriguez and a friend of Rodriguez at the arcade, police said. Crowell then went to his house, got a shotgun and returned to the arcade, witnesses said. When the two friends left the arcade, Rodriguez was shot Several weeks ago Crowell had reached a plea bargain with prosecutors for an eight-year prison term, but District Judge Bob Perkins would not accept the sentence, saying it was shorter than sentences in similar cases. After further plea bargaining, Crowell accepted the 15-year prison sentence.
I can't find anything else on Green Goth except reports about this incident with a murder there. There is at least one other report from 1983 around the time of Crowell's arrest that also refer to it as an arcade but reports the manager said the argument started over a game of pool. It's possible this place might have been more known for pool.
Forgotten Arcades #3 & #4
Games, Etc. - 1302 S. First St
Muther's Arcade - 2532 Guadalupe St
August 23, 1983
Losing the magic touch - Video Arcades have trouble winning the money game
It was going to be so easy for Lawrence Villegas, a video game junkie who thought he could make a fast buck by opening up an arcade where kids could plunk down an endless supply of quarters to play Pac-Man, Space Invaders and Asteroids. Villegas got together with a few friends, purchased about 30 video games and opened Games, Etc. at 1302 S. First St in 1980. .,--.... For a while, things, went great Kids waited in line to spend their money to drive race cars, slay dragons and save the universe.
AT THE BEGINNING of 1982, however, the bottom fell out, and Villegas' revenues fell from $400 a week to $25. Today, Games, Etc. is vacant Villegas, 30, who is now working for his parents at Tony's Tortilla Factory, hasn't decided what he'll do with the building. "I was hooked on Asteroids, and I opened the business to get other people hooked, too," Villegas said. "But people started getting bored, and it wasn't worth keeping the place open. In the end, I sold some machines for so little it made me sick."
VILLEGAS ISNT the only video game operator to experience hard times, video game manufacturers and distributors 'It used to be fairly common to get $300 a week from a machine. Now we rarely get more than $100 .
Pac-Man's a lost cause. Six months ago, you could resell a Pac-Man machine for $1,600. Now, you're lucky to get $950 if you can find a buyer." Ronnie Roark says. In the past year, business has dropped 25 percent to 65 percent throughout the country, they say. Most predict business will get even worse before the market stabilizes. Video game manufacturers and operators say there are several reasons for the sharp and rapid decline: Many video games can now be played at home on television, so there's no reason to go to an arcade. The novelty of video games has worn off. It has been more than a decade since the first ones hit the market The decline can be traced directly to oversaturation or the market arcade owners say. The number of games in Austin has quadrupled since 1981, and it's not uncommon to see them in coin-operated laundries, convenience stores and restaurants.
WITH SO MANY games to choose from, local operators say, Austinites be came bored. Arcades still take in thousands of dollars each week, but managers and owners say most of the money is going to a select group of newer games, while dozens of others sit idle.
"After awhile, they all seem the same," said Dan Moyed, 22, as he relaxed at Muther's Arcade at 2532 Guadalupe St "You get to know what the game is going to do before it does. You can play without even thinking about it" Arcade owners say that that, in a nutshell, is why the market is stagnating.
IN THE PAST 18 months, Ronnie Roark, owner of the Back Room at 2015 E. Riverside Drive, said his video business has dropped 65 to 75 percent Roark, . who supplied about 160 video games to several Austin bars and arcades, said the instant success of the games is what led to their demise. "The technology is not keeping up with people's demand for change," said Roark, who bought his first video game in 1972. "The average game is popular for two or three months. We're sending back games that are less than five months old."
Roark said the market began dropping in March 1982 and has been declining steadily ever since. "The drop started before University of Texas students left for the summer in 1982," Roark said. "We expected a 25 percent drop in business, and we got that, and more. It's never really picked up since then. - "It used to be fairly common to get $300 a week from a machine. Now we rarely get more than $100. 1 was shocked when I looked over my books and saw how much things had dropped."
TO COMBAT THE slump, Roark said, he and some arcade owners last year cut the price of playing. Even that didn't help, he said. Old favorites, such as Pac-Man, which once took in hundreds of dollars each week, he said, now make less than $3 each. "Pac-Man's a lost cause," he said. "Six months ago, you could resell a Pac-Man machine for $1,600. Now, you're lucky to get $950 if you can find a buyer." Hardest hit by the slump are the owners of the machines, who pay $3,500 to $5,000 for new products and split the proceeds with the businesses that house them.
SALEM JOSEPH, owner of Austin Amusement and Vending Co., said his business is off 40 percent in the past year. Worse yet, some of his customers began returning their machines, and he's having a hard time putting them back in service. "Two years ago, a machine would generate enough money to pay for itself in six months,' said Joseph, who supplies about 250 games to arcades. "Now that same machine takes 18 months to pay for itself." As a result, Joseph said, he'll buy fewer than 15 new machines this year, down from the 30 to 50 he used to buy. And about 50 machines are sitting idle in his warehouse.
"I get calls every day from people who want to sell me their machines," Joseph said. "But I can't buy them. The manufacturers won't buy them from me." ARCADE OWNERS and game manufacturers hope the advent of laser disc video games will buoy the market Don Osborne, vice president of marketing for Atari, one of the largest manufacturers of video games, said he expects laser disc games to bring a 25 percent increase in revenues next year. The new games are programmed to give players choices that may affect the outcome of the game, Os borne said. "Like the record and movie industries, the video game industry is dependent on products that stimulate the imagination," Osborne said "One of the reasons we're in a valley is that we weren't coming up with those kinds of products."
THE FIRST of the laser dis games, Dragonslayer and Star Wan hit the market about two months ago. Noel Kerns, assistant manager of The Gold Mine Arcade in Northcross Mall, says the new games are responsible for a $l,000-a-week increase in revenues. Still, Kerns said, the Gold Mine' total sales are down 20 percent iron last summer. However, he remain optimistic about the future of the video game industry. "Where else can you come out of the rain and drive a Formula One race car or save the universe?" hi asked.
Others aren't so optimistic. Roark predicted the slump will force half of all operators out of business and will last two more years. "Right now, we've got a great sup ply and almost no demand," Roark said. "That's going to have to change before things get- significantly better."
Well there is a lot to take from that long article, among other things, that the author confused "Dragonslayer" with "Dragon's Lair". I lol'd.
Anyone who has been to Emo's East, formerly known as The Back Room, knows they have arcade games and pool, but it's mostly closed when there isn't a show. That shouldn't count as an arcade, even though the former owner Ronnie Roark was apparently one of the top suppliers of cabinet games to the area during the Golden Era. Any pool hall probably had a few arcade games at the time, too, but that's not the same as being an arcade.
We also learn from the same article of two forgotten arcades: Muthers at 2522 Guadalupe where today there is a Mediterranean food restaurant, and another called Games, Etc. at 1302 S.First that today is the site of an El Mercado restaurant. But the article is mostly about showing us how bad the effects were from the crash at the end of the Golden Era. It was very hard for the early arcades to survive with increasing competition from home game consoles and personal computers, and the proliferation of the games into stores and restaurants.
Forgotten Arcades #5 #6 & #7
Computer Madness - 2414 S. Lamar Blvd.
Electronic Encounters - 1701 W Ben White Blvd (Southwood Mall)
The Outer Limits Amusements Center - 1409 W. Oltorf
March 4, 1982
'Quartermania' stalks South Austin
School officials, parents worried about effects of video games
A fear Is haunting the video game business. "We call it 'quartermania.' That's fear of running out of quarters," said Steve Stackable, co-owner of Computer Madness, a video game and foosball arcade at 2414 S. Lamar Blvd. The "quartermania" fear extends to South Austin households and schools, as well. There it's a fear of students running out of lunch money and classes to play the games. Local school officials and Austin police are monitoring the craze. They're concerned that computer hotspots could become undesirable "hangouts" for students, or that truancy could increase because students (high-school age and younger) will skip school to defend their galaxies against The Tempest.
So far police fears have not been substantiated. Department spokesmen say that although more than half the burglaries in the city are committed by juveniles during the daytime, they know of no connection between the break-ins and kids trying to feed their video habit But school and parental worries about misspent time and money continue. The public outcry in September 1980 against proposals to put electronic game arcades near two South Austin schools helped persuade city officials to reject the applications. One proposed location was near Barton Hills Elementary School. The other was South Ridge Plaza at William Cannon Drive and South First Street across from Bedlchek Junior High School.
Bedichek principal B.G. Henry said he spoke against the arcade because "of the potential attraction it had for our kids. I personally feel kids are so drawn to these things, that It might encourage them to leave the school building and play hookey. Those things have so much compulsion, kids are drawn to them like a magnet Kids can get addicted to them and throw away money, maybe their lunch money. I'm not against the video games. They may be beneficial with eye-hand coordination or even with mathematics, but when you mix the video games during school hours and near school buildings, you might be asking for problems you don't need."
A contingent from nearby Pleasant Hill Elementary School joined Bedichek in the fight back in 1980, although principal Kay Beyer said she received her first formal call about the games last Week from a mother complaining that her child was spending lunch money on them. Beyer added that no truancy problems have been related to video game-playing at a nearby 7-11 store. Allen Poehl, amusement game coordinator for Austin's 7-11 stores, said company policy rules out any game-playing by school-age youth during school hours. Fulmore Junior High principal Bill Armentrout said he is working closely with operators of a nearby 7-1 1 store to make sure their policy is enforced.
The convenience store itself, and not necessarily the video games, is a drawing card for older students and drop-outs, Armentrout said. Porter Junior High principal Marjorie Ball said that while video games aren't a big cause of truancy, "the money (spent on the games) is a big factor." Ball said she has made arrangements with nearby businesses to call the school it students are playing the games during school hours. "My concern is that kids are basically unsupervised, especially at the 24-hour grocery stores. That's a late hour for kids to be out. I would like to see them (games) unplugged at 10 p.m.," adds Joslin Elementary principal Wayne Rider.
Several proprietors of video game hot-spots say they sympathize with the concerns of parents and school officials. No one under 18 is admitted without a parent to Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre at 4211 S. Lamar. That rule, says night manager David Dunagan, "keeps it from being a high school hangout. This is a family place." Jerry Zollar, owner of J.J. Subs in West Wood Shopping Center on Bee Cave Road, rewards the A's on the report cards of Eanes school district students with free video games. "It's kind of a community thing we do in a different way. I've heard from both teachers and parents . . . they thought this was a good idea," said Zollar.
Electronic Encounters in Southwood Mall last year was renovated into a brightly lit arcade. "We're trying to get away from the dark, barroom-type place. We want this to be a place for family entertainment We won't let kids stay here during school hours without a written note from their parents, and we're pretty strict about that," said manager Kelly Roberts. Joyce Houston, who manages The Outer Limits amusements center at 1409 W. Oltorf St. along with her husband, said, "I wouldn't let my children go into some of the arcades I've visited. I'm a concerned parent, too. We wanted a place where the whole family could come and enjoy themselves."
Well you can see which way the tone of all these articles is going. There were some crimes committed at some arcades but all of them tended to have a negative reputation for various reasons. Parents and teachers were very skeptical of the arcades being in the neighborhoods to the point of petitioning the City Government to restrict them. Three arcades are mentioned besides Chuck-E-Cheese. Electronic Encounters in Southwood Mall, The Outer Limits amusements center at 1409 W. Oltorf, and Computer Madness, a "video game and foosball arcade" at 2414 S. Lamar Blvd.
Forgotten Arcade #8
Smitty's Galaxy of Games - Lake Creek Parkway
February 25, 1982
Arcades fighting negative image
Video games have swept across America, and Williamson and Travis counties have not been immune. In a two-part series, Neighbor examines the effects the coin-operated machines have had on suburban and small-town life.
Cities have outlawed them, religious leaders have denounced them and distraught mothers have lost countless children to their voracious appetites. And still they march on, stronger and more numerous than before. A new disease? Maybe. A wave of invading aliens from outer space? On occasion. A new type of addiction? Certainly. The culprit? Video games. Although the electronic game explosion has been mushrooming throughout the nation's urban areas for the past few years, its rippling effects have just recently been felt in the suburban fringes of North Austin and Williamson County.
In the past year, at least seven arcades armed with dozens of neon quarter-snatchers have sprung up to lure teens with thundering noises and thousands of flashing seek-and-destroy commands. Critics say arcades are dens of iniquity where children fall prey to the evils of gambling. But arcade owners say something entirely different. "Everybody fights them (arcades), they think they are a haven for drug addicts. It's just not true," said Larry Grant of Austin, who opened Eagle's Nest Fun and Games on North Austin Avenue in Georgetown last September. "These kids are great" Grant said the gameroom "gives teenagers a place to come. Some only play the games and some only talk.
In Georgetown, if you're from the high school, this is it." He said he's had very few disturbances, and asks "undesirables" to leave. "We've had a couple of rowdies. That's why I don't have any pool tables they tend to attract that type of crowd," Grant said.
Providing a place for teens to congregate was also the reason behind Ron and Carol Smith's decision to open Smitty's Galaxy of Games on Lake Creek Parkway at the entrance to Anderson Mill. "We have three teenage sons, and as soon as the oldest could drive, it became immediately apparent that there was no place to go around here," said Ron, an IBM employee who lives in Spicewood at Balcones. "This prompted us to want to open something." The business, which opened in August, has been a huge success with both parents and youngsters. "Hundreds of parents have come to check out our establishment before allowing their children to come, and what they see is a clean, safe environment managed by adults and parents," Ron said. "We've developed an outstanding rapport with the community." Video arcades "have a reputation that we have to fight," said Carol.
Kathy McCoy of Georgetown, who last October opened Krazy Korner on Willis Street in Leander, agrees. "We've got a real good group of kids," she said. "There's no violence, no nothing. Parents can always find their kids at Krazy Korner."
While all the arcade owners contacted reported that business is healthy, if not necessarily lucrative, it's not as easy for video entrepreneurs to turn a profit as one might imagine. A sizeable investment is required. Ron Smith paid between $2,800 and $5,000 for each of the 30 electronic diversions at his gameroom.
Grant said his average video game grosses about $50 a week, and his "absolute worst" game, Armor Attack, only $20 a week. The top machines (Defender and Pac-Man) can suck in an easy $125 a week. That's a lot of quarters, 500 to be exact but the Eagle's Nest and Krazy Korner pass half of them on to Neelley Vending Company of Austin which rents them their machines. "At 25 cents a shot, it takes an awful lot of people to pay the bills," said Tom Hatfield, district manager for Neelley.
He added that an owner's personality and the arcade's location can make or break the venture. The game parlor must be run "by an understanding person, someone with patience," Hatfield said. "They cannot be too demanding on the kids, yet they can't let them run all over them." And they must be located in a spot "with lots of foot traffic," such as a shopping center or near a good restaurant, he said. "And being close to a school really helps." "Video games are going to be here permanently, but we're going to see some operations not going because of the competition," which includes machines in virtually every convenience store and supermarket, Hatfield said.
This article talks about three arcades. One in Georgetown called Eagles Nest, another in Leander called Krazy Korner, and a third called Smitty's Galaxy of Games on Lake Creek Parkway "on the fringes of North Austin". This is the one I remember the older kids talking about when I was a little kid. There was once a movie theater across the street from the Westwood High School football stadium and behind that was Smitty's. Today I think the building was bulldozed long ago and the space is part of the expanded onramp to 183 today. Eventually another unrelated arcade was built next to the theater that became Alamo Lakeline. It was another site of some unrecorded epic Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat tournaments in the 90s.
But the article written before the end of the Golden Era tell us much about the pushback I was talking about earlier. Early arcades were seen as "dirty" places in some circles, and the owners of the arcades in Williamson County had to stress how "clean" their establishments were. This other article from a couple of weeks later tells of how area school officials weren't worried about video games and tells us more arcades in Round Rock and Cedar Park. Apparently the end of the golden age lasted a bit longer than usual in this area.
At some point in the next few years the bubble burst, and places like Smitty's were gone by the late 80s. But the distributors quoted earlier were right that arcade games weren't going completely away. In the mid 1980s LeFun opened up next in the Scientology building at 2200 Guadalupe on the drag. Down a few doors past what used be a coffee shop and a CVS was Einsteins Arcade. Both of those survived into the 21st century. I remember the last time I was at Einsteins I got my ass beat in Tekken by a kid half my age. heheh
That's all for today. There were no Bonus Pics in the UT archive of arcades (other than the classical architectural definition). I wanted to pass on some Bonus newspaper articles (remember to click and zoom in with the buttons on the right to read) about Austin arcades anyway but first a small story.
I mentioned earlier the secret of the UT Student Union. I have no idea what it looks like now but in the 90s there was a sizable arcade in with the bowling alley in the basement. Back in 1994 when I used to sneak in, they featured this bizarre early attempt at virtual reality games. I found an old Michael Barnes Statesman article about it dated February 11, 1994. Some highlights:
Hundreds of students and curiosity-seekers lined up at the University of Texas Union to play three to five minutes of Dactyl Nightmare, Flying Aces or V-Tol, three-dimensional games from Kramer Entertainment. Nasty weather delayed the unloading of four huge trunks containing the machines, which resemble low pulpits. Still, players waited intently for a chance to shoot down a fighter jet, operate a tilt-wing Harrier or tangle with a pterodactyl. Today, tickets will go on sale in the Texas Union lobby at 11:30 a.m. for playing slots between noon and 6 p.m.
Players, fitted with full helmets, throttles and power packs, stood on shiny gray and yellow platforms surrounded by a circular guard rail. Seen behind the helmet's goggles were computer simulated landscapes, not unlike the most sophisticated video games, with controls and enemies viewed in deep space. "You're on a platform waiting to fight a human figure," said Jeff Vaughn, 19, of Dactyl Nightmare. "A pterodactyl swoops down and tries to pick you up. You have to fight it off. You are in the space and can see your own body and all around you. But if you try to walk, you have to use that joy stick to get around."
"I let the pterodactyl carry me away so I could look down and scan the board," said Tom Bowen of the same game. "That was the way I found out where the other player was." "Yeah, it's cool just to stand there and not do anything," Vaughn said. The mostly young, mostly male crowd included the usual gaming fanatics, looking haggard and tense behind glasses and beards. A smattering of women and children also pressed forward in a line that snaked past the lobby and into the Union's retail shops.
"I don't know why more women don't play. Maybe because the games are so violent," said Jennifer Webb, 24, a psychology major whose poor eyesight kept her from becoming a fighter pilot in real life. "If the Air Force won't take me, virtual reality will." "They use stereo optics moving at something like 60 frames a second," said computer science major Alex Aquila, 19. "The images are still pretty blocky. But once you play it, you'll want to play it again and again." With such demand for virtual reality, some gamesters wondered why an Austin video arcade has not invested in at least one machine.
The gameplay looked like this.
Bonus Article #1 - "Video fans play for own reasons" (Malibu Grand Prix) - March 11, 1982
Bonus Article #2 - "Pac-Man Cartridge Piques Interest" - April 13, 1982
Bonus Article #3 - "Video Games Fail Consumer" - January 29, 1984
Bonus Article #4 - "Nintendoholics/Modems Unite" - January 25, 1989
Bonus Article #5 and pt 2 "Two girls missing for a night found at arcade" (truly dedicated young gamers) - August 7, 2003
submitted by s810 to Austin [link] [comments]

How to spot a cheating man

EDIT/UPDATE:
I read some of your responses with tears. Thank you to everyone who said something encouraging! I tried to answer some questions and hope I didn't miss any. I am not able to respond very fast; I still feel some emotional hangover just from sharing what I wrote. I initially made this as a one-and-done throwaway, but now I will keep this account active and hopefully share some more in the future, since some of your responses really got me thinking. I am truly grateful that this space exists. I still received some harassment (which I blocked), but I know the mods / automod filter out a lot more, and that level of safety was what encouraged me to speak up. Thank you!!
-----
(TW for self harm and abuse.)
I am a FDS membeposter. I made an alt to tell my story as a former sugar baby. I understand this might not go through because sex work is fundamentally anti-FDS. I am now anti-sex work and I hope this post has value here.
I won't go into childhood details, but I suffered from abuse and poverty from a very young age, so everything about luxury and having a sugar daddy appealed to me. I was also raised very patriarchal, and was told since birth that certain things were only achievable via a man, even if I was deeply ambitious when young. My own family tried to "match" me at age 15 with an adult family friend they felt was wealthy. Thanks to FDS, I now realize I was groomed and it was statutory rape. It was a major breakthrough when I told my therapist for the first time two weeks ago, and what sparked my motivation to write this post.
There was no clear "beginning" to my sw journey. I have always slept around casually. I also have always had rough/kinky sex. I was exposed to porn at a very young age. Eventually I happened into sleeping with richer men. But I became successful as a SB after I unknowingly implemented very strict FDS-like ground rules and demanded more. The irony was, after I started earning more, I got banned from several sex work/sugar baby forums. People thought I was lying about my standards and earnings. Even in the sw community, you had to be a deferential pickme to be accepted. Any high standards must be a lie. I was unknowingly lifting myself out of the sw fog, becoming more outspoken, and I was alienated.
I eventually managed to make a lot of money (bought my family a house). I had strict requirements that men provide verification of their identities (passport / work profile), and ability to provide. At my peak (financial peak and self-delusion peak), I abandoned my own career to do it full time, and even considered outsourcing the admin side of vetting + marketing myself like a product, to maximize earnings.
This was also a time when my self esteem was so chipped that I only knew one avenue of building it up: male validation and monetary reward.
Looking back now, even if money was there, everything else was bad. I traveled all the time. I was burned out. I still experienced FREQUENT sexual assault and rape without recourse, which I treated as "occupational hazard." I suffered emotional damage, extreme guilt and shame, loss of sense of self, loss of friendship, loss of sense of value regarding money and life. I spiraled to a point of being constantly suicidal. I was a shell. I drank a lot.
Finally, the most prominent of all: despite what I was telling everyone in my circle, I never could fully feel pride about my "work." I had a nagging sense that I was meant for something else, something not this, except who knows what though. It was like the part of myself I locked away was knocking from its cage. So I became more and more split psychologically. I dissociated a lot, where I literally floated up to the ceiling and "saw" my body going through the motions, even if it's not sexual and just a dinner at a nice restaurant. I was potentially losing my mind. I often imagined ending my life during a dissociated phase so I wouldn't "feel' it.
Yet, I continued to justify that all that was just normal work stress, because "sex work is work." My feelings must be wrong. I must have internalized slutshaming. This is the danger of that kind of rhetoric. Even if I entered it voluntarily as an adult, seemingly benefitted financially, I gaslighted myself about leaving and delayed it for far too long. My pickme self felt I was not like the others who were traumatized, and I was fine. In reality, I was in danger mentally and physically. I still feel this eerie brush with death when I try to imagine if I had never left.
I still have a very small circle of friends in the lifestyle and I make a point of talking to them about leaving whenever possible. I don't know if some of them will ever leave, though. I have to rebuild my social life as well.
Welp, that got long. I originally wanted to share some cheating red flags here, since many of my sugar daddies were married. I hope these help confirm everything FDS already says in the handbook. So here it is:
That's all I can think of for now. I don't know if a healthy relationship with an age-appropriate man will ever happen for me. I have tried to date normally since my exit, but found that I struggle to vet as strictly as I did when I was a sugar baby. I have stopped dating. I do know I am now a radfem working on spending a life with myself if a man doesn't happen. I genuinely believe men, as a whole, abuse women, and we cannot categorically escape it, and must always watch our own backs. I am working up the courage to become more outspoken against sex work, and hopefully help younger girls out of the trap I fell in myself.
It's been 1 year since I last had a drink, and 1.5 years since I broke up with my last SD. My wish for 2021 is to rebuild my career and friendships. I start to feel low when I think of the last 5 years of a black hole, and how to explain that. I am working up the strength. When I was a young girl, I wanted to be a lawyer. I don't know if I have the gumption to follow through, but I can fantasize. I also have a couple of other fields I have interest in. I only need my self worth to catch up and open my eyes that I can achieve my dreams.
I wish you all a happy 2021.
submitted by taxthrowaway00 to FemaleDatingStrategy [link] [comments]

Unusual Options Activity 101: Whale Watching Tips

This is long, if you’re uninterested skip to the ten tips list or TLDR
A while ago I started mixing unusual options activity into my gamblinginvesting. At first I lost a shitload of money chasing dumbass whales with zero plan, but now I actually have a pretty good feel for it. I still fuck up alot, but more often I do not fuck up. This is to help those of you who want to start chasing whales, or are at a basic level and want to do it better.
I'm using some plays from this week as examples because they are fresh in my mind and I have a couple screenshots.
Tools I use barchart in tandem with Unusual Whales. For barchart, you can honestly get by using their free version, you just can't sort as well. They have a free month trial too. I also pay the 20 bucks for Unusual Whales to confirm what I scan, and they have a good stocks volume standard deviation tool. I have zero affiliation to either, just saying what I use.
There are way more technical ways to do this, but I like to use my eyes to scan sporadically throughout the day like a boomer.
Basic Concept Long story short, you're ideally chasing the options purchases of what are, presumably, deep-pocketed individuals or institutions. UOA identifies certain options contract orders that are higher than the average daily contract order. For example, if the average daily option volume on an GME weekly is 4,000, and an option order enters for 4,000 or higher, it's flagged as unusual activity since it's a multiple of that daily average volume--sometimes it shows as multiple orders if "they" push through a few smaller purchases that produce heavy volume.
MM are sneks who like to move in silence, which they can do with with stock positions via dark pools and the like. However, they can't get away with that with options activity--it all shows. That fact, young autist, is your slingshot against the institutional goliath.
Hunting the Whale So I've got my unusual options activity page open on barchart or wherever for the current day. I adjust the expiration date option so that the options I'm looking at don't expire past a couple weeks out (more on why later), then I'm ready to eye scan.
I typically start by looking for one of two things: 1) large clusters of orders that belong to one ticker or 2) sporadic orders for a ticker that consistently show up over a couple hours, but belong to non-hot, non-meme stonks that do NOT have earnings imminent. To make sure I'm looking at something potentially weird, I choose to exclude options that expire more than a couple weeks out.
1) Clusters of orders—ABNB example The way I scope it is kind of a tiered process. First, I'm looking to see if there are any clusters of orders that catch my eye on a quick scan. Second, I'm looking to see if those clusters of orders contain both calls AND puts, with some OTM activity and spreads preferred. Third, I look to see if the number of seperate call orders outweighs the number of put orders (or vice versa), and additionally I look to see if the volume of the calls drastically outweighs the volume of the puts (or vice versa).
Why? Because it helps you determine if the options order is just a hedge, or if it’s hedging against itself as it’s own position. This is super important so try to follow along-- most UOA is just institutions hedging; Mr. MM has a nice, busy life and fancy yacht and can't just exit his positions back and forth all day like a WSBer. He also has like a billion shares of his stonks, so if he dumps it when he's got paper hands it will siginficantly tank the value and cause a ripple effect. So, instead of hedging by dumping his shit, he hedges by adding OTM options against his position--next level fucking diamond hands. That would be the type of whale order from Mr. MM we don't want to follow. But, if Mr. MM buys 4,000 FB call options in a few blocks, and you see like 1,000 in FB puts go through right alongside it, the odds are that someone is betting big on FB and using the puts as a hedge, since the puts represent a smaller volume in the call/put ratio. Instead of the options being a hedge for a bigger stock position they hold, these types of option clusters indicate that the option order itself is the big, independent play, and it's hedging itself with lower volume order vs the higher volume (4,000 calls to 1,000 puts).
Then I do an easy confirmation. I check the tickers general trend the past week or so in a chart, do a news search on twitter of their ticker for news catalysts and sentiment, and google and YouTube to see if the crayola kids think it's a good nerd play.
Example: Here's the screenshot on some ABNB UOA I noticed and played this week. It went to 200% and change within a couple hours, but I had unfortunate diamond hands and sold for about half that.
ABNB UOA
So, this a softball. First, you can see that ABNB all of a sudden explodes with all these options showing up at 12:52–that's our cluster. Second, the clusters have both calls and puts in that minute timespan, with some put orders showing at the bottom of the cluster. Some of the calls are deep OTM, as far as 200c. Third, the call orders far outweigh the put orders in both amount and volume. Awwwww shit, looks like we got more than a hedge—we’re onto something.
Confirmation time: ABNB had been on a general uptrend, and I typically don't like to chase, but I combed twitter and saw their were rumors of the CEO speaking the following day, and that news had just broken of their DC booking cancellations. I looked back into the morning, and saw a few more unusual blocks, and a few more rolled in just after the cluster pictured above.
Passed the smell test. Options bought, tendies gained.
Sparse Orders: SNAP example
The same principles can apply to orders on tickers that pop up individual orders, not large clusters, which a) haven’t had much attention b) have been on a steep downtrend—this makes the order unusual, and/or c) seem to keep popping up in single orders over a few hours to a day.The same principles as above apply, but if you see these types of orders with very little time left until expiration, you can assume assume it's probably not a hedge. SNAP isn't the best example of the week because there wasn't a put order in this block. But, there was positive TA sentiment when I searched, SNAP had been on an oversold downtrend, and I don't have screenshots left of the better ones I saw and went after. Plus, importantly, IT WAS TOWARDS THE END OF THE DAY (this is huge, EOD is prime time for AH news whales)
SNAP UOA
A better example from this week though is SPCE, which had only a few orders sprinkled throughout the day, and one toward the end of the day which was DEEP, DEEP OTM expiring 1/15. *That’s a flag for us—sporadic listing throughout the day, OTM toward the end of the day. * BAM! EOD SPCE OTM calls sprinkle in, ARK invests to kick off AH, SPCE moons.
Sparse Orders Patterns: Connecting the dots on tech rebound with FB and SNAP
Seeing the SNAP orders above sharpened my eyes that day to looking for a pattern with tech on the whole, since big tech had been so royally gaped the past week. I kept seeing FB options like this pop up
https://i.imgur.com/muVGtq2.jpg
Sometimes you can put together sporadic listings and create a working theory based on a sector. Because this and similar FB orders were deep OTM and one day out, I knew there was a risk they could a hedge, but also knew that the tech sector was due for a rebound and saw SNAP posting sporadic OTM as well. So, I bought my options for each of those two another week out and closer to ATM (important, more below), to give the whale some breathing room in case was it was a hedge, even though the technicals agreed with the bounce. The whales were right, and it was an easy little overnight profit.
How I’ve Fucked Up 1: Don’t get tricked by trends
Although we like to believe institutions are ahead of the curve, often they are just trend-riding lemmings who follow what's already way, way up. They buy the top, just like WSB tardies such as yourself specialize in. So, when you see shit like this below, take a minute to think before you get excited:
NIO UOA LIKE THIS WAS NONSTOP
It was the same for all the memes: PLUG, FCEL, MARA, and RIOT all week, dominating the orders. If something is already too popular, just stay away from it. You can ride something up, but when you see massive orders on shit that's already like 400% IV, just...don't.
How I’ve Fucked Up 2: DO give the MM’s some breathing room
Even if you’re confident in a move you see that is a few days out, extend your play a week or two further out minimum, and strike it closer to ATM. If you can't do either of those things because you can't afford the premium just skip that play and check back for something new later; I promise a better opportunity will arise. You can recover from bagholding, but you cannot recover from blowing your account on an incorrect 0DTE.
Breathing room is also important because often whales will have the news but not the exact timing. Two months ago I followed a DDOG whale on a Thursday 1DTE that expired worthless the next day. The following Monday (1 trade day later) DDOG made the announcement that rocketed them like 20%--if I'd given them a week's breathing room, it would've been a 15 bagger. Fucking F.
So, to review: look for order clusters or sporadic ticker orders that a) have a mix of calls and puts with one dominating the other b) unpopular tickers that have deep OTM or close expirations c) always check chatter afterward and fundamentals and d) try to put together a narrative of things that are related that catch your eye (this Monday's EV run or this Friday's tech bounce could be next week's airline dominance or cruiseline craze--connect the dots). Initially look for options expiring soon, as they indicate the most riskiness--and therefore confidence--if the MM is not hedging. Shop with a short term eye, buy with a long term choice.
10 Things That Will Help You Not GUH:
1) Monday and Friday morning/afternoon are the most accurate whale times, according to data from Unusual Whales
2) If you don't have PDT always save some spending power for EOD shopping
3) If you don't have PDT never, ever follow a whale with a weekly. Sometimes the news the whale bets on is a 'sell the news' event, and you won’t recover from a drop especially if there is IV crush involved.
4) Always give the whale breathing room by purchasing an expiration at least a week further out
4b) Always give the whale breathing room by going closer to ATM strikes than theirs
5) Sign up for barchart monthly trial (then continue it) and unusual whales--they're each like 20 bucks and thats way less than you spend on an FD.
6) You don't need to learn TA, but you need to check technicals on the tickers you want to chase--almost every major ticker has youtubers or fintwits giving their daily or weekly TA. This way you know if it's a proper breakout happening if the whale hits, and you're not just guessing at when to take profits. Remember, whales can buy wayyyyyyy OTM and sell for massive profit at any point--they aren’t bagholding a call until it's in the money like you are. You may be 10% up waiting for the next 80% GME day while your whale has sold at their target 5% profits on the play and is chillin.
7) Leave at least 10% of your account spending power free each day. I promise, the one time you go full boat you will see the most obvious whale play at the end of the day. Then you won't be able to do shit about it and you'll hate yourself when it's a 10 bagger overnight. Trust me.
8) Make sure the ticker you're chasing isn't just ER anticipation/bets. Always check earnings dates before buying.
9) Remember whales are people, so they can be stupid, too. Don't baghold a position that is clearly fucked for some news that looks unlikely to come. They are gambling addicts just like you, except they have more money.
10) Always take profits if you ask yourself if it's time to. If it's good enough to screenshot, it's good enough to close the position.
Positions: Dumped a ton of stuff and loading up Tuesday because long weekends scare me, but saw some ineresting 2/5s I held including
WKHSc PLTRc SPYc (1/19, 1/22) LMNDp
And a couple tickers that I couldn’t post lol. also have AAPL and JD leaps
TLDR Use a service to follow whales so you can get ahead of announcements. Look for clusters of options activity that hedge themselves via call/put ratio, and do a legitimate check for TA and catalysts to confirm their moves. Never follow a whale into a weekly, but use weeklies are your best screener.
I might do a pretty consistent DD post (a couple times a week) on what I’m seeing at the end of each day if there is interest, and if it’s not a day I don’t have a ton of real work. If something quick catches my eye I usually throw it up on my twitter @yourboymilt (there’s no notification thing on here mods, just trying to be helpful— not selling anything) I’ll also probably throw some more potential Monday positions on here over the weekend once I decide to do some more research. Later.
submitted by AllDatDalton to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

what to do if someone has a gambling addiction video

What To Do If Someone Who Has a Gambling Addiction Asks Me ... Motivation To Stop Gambling - Rain Sounds Subliminal Session - By Thomas Hall Gambling in Judaism How to help someone with Gambling Addiction. - YouTube My husband is gambling and now in an emotional affair. How do I forgive him again? How to tell if someone has a gambling addiction - YouTube Gambling addiction: Why you shouldn’t gamble ? Dr Niki Inside the brain of a gambling addict - BBC News - YouTube My Husband Has A Gambling Addiction; How Do I Handle Our ... CHRISTIAN TESTIMONIES: BEWARE OF THE GAMBLING TRAP! Ervin Rogers Testimony: 3 of 3

Types of Help for Gambling Addiction. As you know, there is only so much you can do alone for a loved one going through a gambling addiction. Eventually, it will be necessary for them to receive professional help. Hopefully, after you provide them with information about different treatments, they will take action will one of these methods: Psychotherapy What to Do If Someone You Care About Has a Gambling Addiction More The prevalence of casinos and ease of gambling on online sports betting sites could cause more people to become gamblers than in ... Recovery From Addiction to Gambling. If there is someone with addiction issues related to gambling, they should talk about the problems with an addiction counselor. They can teach them ways to deal with the cravings and urges so that they overcome this addiction. Many gamblers may not be aware that they have a problem and some may be in denial about how excessive their hobby has become. As a result, facing up to their gambling being a problem can be a huge step. If you know someone with a gambling problem and want to help them move forward, use the following 10 tips as a guide for getting started: Gambling addiction or gambling disorder is defined as persistent and recurring problematic gambling behavior that causes distress and impairs your overall livelihood. Gambling addiction affects roughly 0.2% to 0.3% of the general U.S. population, and tends to affects males more than females, though this gender gap has narrowed in recent years. If you suspect you or someone you love has a gambling addiction, talk to your doctor or mental health professional. They can help you find the information and support you need. Gambling addiction is also known as compulsive gambling, pathological gambling, or gambling disorder. It can be defined as an impulse-control disorder. If you are an impulsive gambler, you can not control the urge to gamble, even when you know it has negative consequences for your finances, you as a person or your loved ones. Your gambling may be out of control if: it's affecting your relationships, finances, or work or school life, you're devoting more and more time and energy to gambling, you've unsuccessfully tried to stop or cut back on your gambling, you try to conceal your gambling from family or others, you resort to theft or fraud to get gambling money, or if you ask others to bail you out of financial woes ... But if you haven’t yet confirmed (but do suspect) that your spouse or partner has a gambling addiction, look carefully at his or her behavior patterns for signs that gambling has become more than just a casual occurrence. Compulsive lying is one of the symptoms of compulsive or pathological gamblers. Oftentimes, a person with a gambling addiction also suffers from bipolar disorder, depression, ADHD or obsessive-compulsive disorder, so medication or therapy to treat those conditions can alleviate gambling addiction. Gamblers Anonymous and other self-help groups help many people as well. Deciding Between Gambling Addiction Solutions

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What To Do If Someone Who Has a Gambling Addiction Asks Me ...

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what to do if someone has a gambling addiction

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