…The raging river, pulled them down.
Now they’ll always, be together,
In that Happy Hunting Ground…
- Running Bear by Sonny James
“Snakeyes! New roller, please, next up.” The game runner raked in the dice and chips and ignored the despair in the countenance of the most recent “high roller”. Ted shook his head and other people crowded him away from the dice pit. He was almost out of funds and it was still early. He’d budgeted his, “loss level” carefully to maximize his time at the reservation casino. It was an older one, filled with stereotypical paintings and statues intended to honor the local First Nations Tribes while fulfilling the expectations of rude tourists. He looked around forlornly for a new game to play. He didn’t care for the slots or the drawn-out and ever-shifting card games… ah, Blackjack! There was an opening at the table.
He rushed over before anyone else could snag it and bustled onto the chair. “Okay to deal me in on the next hand?” He interrupted the dealer, who ignored him until he was done dealing out the rest of the players and raking in the chips. He still did not speak but once Ted placed the minimum bet, he flipped a card down in front of him and the game began. Ted immediately started winning the straightforward game. He picked up most of his losses from his unfortunate run at craps and was finally enjoying himself. The couple at the far end of the table had apparently had enough and didn’t care for the new player. Ted liked to talk to new people and thought he was good at it. Before long, the other players had left and it was down to him, the dealer, and an older man, who wore a black cowboy style hat and chain-smoked thin cigarillos.
Ted, grinning heartily at his latest win, glanced over at the man, who had just fired up his next cancer-stick, “You know casinos, and a few bars are the last public places where anyone smokes. I remember when there were smoking sections at most places and my parents told me that there used to be no restrictions. I’ll bet you get plenty of pressure to stop from your family and friends. It’s a pretty bad habit for your long-term health…” Ted usually rambled on past any non-verbal cues that people might give him to stop talking, yet his diatribe came to a screeching halt at the look with which the stern-faced elder favored him.
The older man drew in a long pull on the firestick and then exhaled the stinking cloud into Ted’s face. He coughed a little and gagged at the odor of the raw blend of tobacco and chemicals. The old one removed the cigarillo from his mouth and tapped ashes onto the edge of the table and down onto the floor at his toes, “Sonny, nobody cares. Nobody wants your opinion, and you are not special, no matter what your mommy told you. I’ll do as I please and if you don’t like it, go bother people at another table.”
Ted gaped in shock. In his mind, the man’s words verged on an “assault”. He looked helplessly at the dealer, who just ducked his head and tried not to laugh. Indignant, he rose, took his pile of chips and fled into the depths of the gaming house in search of a friendlier table. He didn’t find one that he liked, so he finally gave up and sat at the bar. The bartender seemed to ignore him in favor of tidying up her workspace. He cleared his throat and received only a glance. He mumbled as much to himself as to her, “I just want a drink while I wait for a table to open.” He wondered at her stony silence, maybe she resents me for being…
His vocal ruminations were interrupted by a feminine voice, “What do you want?”
Ted looked up to see the bartender, mocking smile in place below shining, mesmerizing eyes. Ted simply gaped and eventually worked his jaw uselessly. The bartender shrugged and walked back to the other end of the bar. She spoke with a large man who was clearly part of the security team. He glared at Ted while she spoke. Ted wanted to avoid a confrontation. He’d been conditioned that he should seek authorities if such a situation loomed. Yet casino security was the only available authority here locally. There were Tribal Police on the Reservation, but he wasn’t sure they would want to listen to him. He finally shrugged and decided to go back over to the hotel for the rest of the night. This trip had been very unsatisfying… like all those he’d taken since he moved away from his parents’ home a few years previously.
There was an indoor walkway to the hotel, but Ted decided to go by the outdoor route to get some fresh air and enjoy the natural beauty that the builders had incorporated into the facility. As he walked dejectedly down the sidewalk, local flora pressing in from each side, he heard, from the nearby forest, a screeching wail. It startled him and he had to stop a moment to catch his breath and wait for his heart rate to slow to something more manageable. He realized that it must have been an owl or some other night bird. His father had told him that there were always weird noises “out in the sticks”.
As he plunged his hands into his pockets and determined to go to his room for rest, he caught the faint smell of burning tobacco on the breeze. It wafted over his shoulder from behind and caused him to emit a feeble cough. He looked back in annoyance. In the shadows behind him, he saw a figure. It was dark and stood still in a way that made him uncomfortable. An orange glowing circle of embers hovered around the face and rendered just enough light to illuminate the blue-grey curls of smoke as they exited the tiny conflagration and rose above the brim of a black hat. The ember flared for a moment and then flashed to the ground and was snuffed by a shadowed… foot? It wasn’t exactly clear to Ted; the figure’s lower extremities were... blurred. An even brighter flare, from a lighter or match stabbed into Ted’s eyes as the Smoker lit his next cigarillo.
Ted glared irritation but felt uncomfortable at the unnatural stillness to which the figure returned once the new fire was lit. He coughed once more, this time deliberately in a passive-aggressive attempt to communicate his displeasure and resumed his walk. He strained to listen behind him to determine whether the figure followed. He truly wished to get away from the stink and the threat of cancer or other respiratory illnesses. He slowed to listen, then gave up and looked over his shoulder again. There was no figure in the dark back near the exit to the casino. He turned to resume his walk, but a smoky black form now loomed before him! Its eyes glowed and smoked like large twin cigars as it gaped a maw that emitted pure black smoke and glowed with blue flames within the deep tunnel of the throat. Ted’s consciousness fled his body and found itself in a burning nightmare landscape that extended for as far as he could perceive in all directions.
**** * ****
Darnell, known to his public as “Murder Bush” a deliberate mistranslation of “merde bouche” a.k.a. “Deadly Rapper” for having been a suspect in a shooting back in his youth, stepped up to the dice pit as the geeky dude left. He had plenty of chips and cash to back them. His entourage was there to support him and kiss his backside as often as he wished. He rolled through six passes before he crapped out. He hadn’t over-bet, so he’d won a small amount. He picked up his latest winning chips and handed them to the hostess who had kept him well plied with drinks and snacks. He was sure that for the right price, she would take care of his other needs. He played a few card tables and finished with Roulette.
Each time he won a few chips, he passed them on to the young woman or to one of his flunkies. In the end, they had all received at least some reward for the praises they’d heaped upon him; not for any real accomplishments, but rather to curry favor with the man whom they considered to be wealthy and important: a celebrity. The girl stayed at his side and except for when he asked her questions, she said nothing. He liked that: bitch know her place, he reveled in internal satisfaction. He liked her looks too. She was medium height and a little, “thick”. She was clearly interested but hadn’t gotten in his way when he flirted with other women. He truly liked this one. The more he considered her, the more he wanted to get down to business.
Eventually, he posed the question to her, “How much for the next few hours?” His brazen suggestion that she would take money for sexual favors was the final test. If she grew angry, then she didn’t appreciate his genius…
“Whatever you think is fair. How about we see if I can satisfy you? If I can, then you may want to be generous… as you have been so far.” She hefted the chips so that the pieces clinked in her palm. “If not, I don’t deserve a reward.”
She had passed with flying colors. Might even take this one back to civilization with me, he purred in his mind. He’d always thought of himself as a Big Cat… maybe a leopard or jaguar, definitely something dangerous and sleek. His need grew more intense by the moment. He desperately wanted this woman. “Come on, let’s go to my room.” He husked in a voice grown thick with desire.
They reached his suite, his groupies having been dismissed to their own nefarious pursuits, even his bodyguard. The big man had shrugged, “Your call boss-man.” and then stumped across the hallway to his own room. Now he was finally alone with… her. He stripped off his shirt and flipped his shoes into a corner. She stood by the window and watched. The drinks he’d consumed finally caught up with him before he’d shucked his pants and drawers, “Hold on, I’ll be right back.” He was excited, which made urinating a challenge, but it had to be done, so that he could maximize his pleasure. When he stepped from the restroom, au natural, he saw that his latest conquest had done the same and now stood, bare to the world and staring out the window, all the curtains on it pushed to one side, so that the night loomed and the light of a single small desk lamp lit the room. He stalked over to her, ready to take her right there at the window in full view of anyone who looked up from the outside. He secretly hoped for an audience. He enjoyed having others watch him take what he wanted.
She turned to face him, her head lowered… no, it had sunken into her body, only her hair remained above her shoulders! A… mouth, gaping and slavering opened on her stomach, a mouth too large for her body and rimmed with rows of teeth like sharpened spikes. She stepped forward to embrace him and the screaming began… sounds that he was accustomed to eliciting from others rather than emitting from his own person.
**** * ****
“Rhino” was unhappy. He didn’t like to leave Darnell unattended. Perhaps now that his boss was in the room, he could go stand guard outside the door. He took care of some personal ablutions as he wolfed down a couple of energy bars and then walked out into the hallway. He started to settle in front of Darnell’s door, when he heard a muffled scream and faint… slobbering-gobbling noises come from the other side. He quickly tried the door, initially too panicked to think of the extra key card with which Darnell had entrusted him. He fumbled for it and soon had the door open. The interior was completely dark. The light from the hallway spilled inward but didn’t seem to reach as far into the room as it should.
He drew his pistol from the holster on his waistband and began to stalk forward, “Boss, you okay? You hurt?” The room was as silent as a tomb, he shivered a little as that thought crossed his mind. Over by the closed drapes, he smelled something awful: fresh blood and spilled entrails… recent death. His feet squelched on wet carpet. He turned around quickly. There had been no noise, but he’d felt a… presence. There she stood, arms spread wide, mouth on her gut spread wider. Rhino wasn’t one to scream or yell, even in extremis, so no others would come to this room to investigate.
**** * ****
Shelly was glad when the rowdy group left the roulette wheel that sat behind her favorite row of slots. The former “one-armed bandits”, that were now, “multiple button digital bandits” lined every available wall space, and in some spaces stood in rows that drew regulars like a dung-heap draws flies. She’d grabbed her favorite machine early in the evening and sat sliding in dollar bills and working up her points. It was called “Buffalo Dance” and featured images of American Bison and feather-bedecked hunters. The theme on the screen matched and she hoped to one day see the “White Buffalo” image adorn the entire set of images… the grand prize view. Despite the fun graphics, it was her favorite because it was near a restroom and a free soda and snack bar. She found herself ahead and on a roll. She absently lipped her dangling cigarette back into her mouth for a long draw. The smoke obscured the screen for a moment, and then she noted a shadow that lengthened across the reflective surface. Someone stood close behind her. Someone who exuded a chilly air. She paused and looked around, “Can I help you?”
There was no answer, though the shadow shifted slightly as if its caster had heard her.
Now she grew annoyed, this is just the sort of thing to break my winning streak! she raged internally. She braced her hands against the machine and worked her buttocks to make the stool on which she perched spin, so she could confront her harasser. She gaped, and nearly lost her cigarette, there was no one standing near enough to cast the shadow. No one even faced her. She chalked it up to excitement, maybe someone stepped too close when passing to go to the restroom, she thought, still a little annoyed and... chilled.
She turned back to her game and continued working the buttons, pumping in bills, and winning, a little at a time, the points now built well above her investment. This weekend is gonna pay for the last two months of losing and breaking even, she thought triumphantly. The shadow loomed across the screen once more, this time even larger, as though the figure that cast it stood closer. The shape was amorphous but hinted at anthropomorphic. She shivered as an icy breeze flowed around her, as though the air conditioning had sent out a short, cold burst, a minor malfunction…
She turned around with more alacrity and determination than the last time, mouth agape, cigarette once more dangling… precipitously and endangering the cleavage she displayed, already baked and wrinkled from years of sunbathing. The frigid air passed, and no one stood anywhere near her, though a customer approached, headed for either snacks or relief. “Excuse me sir, did you just see someone, maybe a large man, standing behind me?”
The man paused and looked at her in confusion. He had clearly been absorbed in his own thoughts, “Er, what? Uh, No. I wasn’t really paying attention, but… no.” He bustled on toward the free fountain drinks machine.
Shelly shrugged, can’t give up now, the pot is even bigger. She checked her points; she was nearing her all-time high. The winnings would pay her space rental fee at the RV park for the entire month. She pressed and played the buttons more fervently than ever, determined to break the bank on straight points or to reach that magical spin that would offer an instant reward of $10,000.00. She set her new points record and reveled for a moment. She reached for the now small stack of dollar bills the rest having been devoured by the machine. She fed in the entire remaining amount, then once more gazed at the screen. It was entirely blackened by a looming shadow.
The temperature of the air around her plummeted and she shuddered with the sudden biting cold. The cigarette was long extinguished, and she’d let the cold fag fall into the ash tray built onto the side of the machine opposite the drink holder. She was so cold, and she wanted to cry out for help, but the darkness closed in around her as the shadow enveloped her and cut off her breathing. Her fingers, paused above the “spin” button, struck and as her consciousness faded, she saw the flashing blue light and heard the blare of the winner’s siren. White Buffalo images filled all nine spaces. I won! The grand prize!
**** * ****
Terry filled his large cup and stood sipping and daydreaming. He’d lost everything he’d budgeted to lose. Yet he knew that one more try would put him back in black for this trip. He mused about what he would do with the prize money. He’d set his limit at $300.00 and had quickly lost it all on slots. Maybe he could risk just a few more dollars… skip a lunch or two until his next paycheck if it didn’t work. He was startled by the jackpot winner’s flashing light and siren that went off just behind him. That bitch! He yelled internally. Figures some old used up skank would win the big prize. He looked over at the nearby machine with anger and envy vying for control of his senses. She was gone!
He stepped over to the machine and looked around in confusion. Maybe she’d gone to the restroom? No, she’d have passed right by me. He shook his head and stepped up to look at the screen. He could still feel the recent presence of a player, the trace of warmth from a human body that might linger in a space for just a moment after the human had vacated the space. He looked around the casino floor, she was nowhere in sight. She’d been wearing a low-cut silver-spangled top that was cut way too low for her sagging, sun-ravaged bosom. She should be easy to spy, she looked like a deflated disco ball that had fallen from the ceiling to play slots. The only thing that came his way was a train of employees, led by a waitress in a skimpy outfit with purple sparkles and carrying a tray with a glass and a dark bottle. She was followed by other employees, who’d formed a sort of conga line: they sang a congratulatory chorus as they approached.
Terry gaped for a moment when he realized that they thought he was the big winner. He’d have to deny it of course. Surely the woman would be back at any moment to claim her prize. The floor cameras would have recorded who had sat at the machine, but it was too late. The group of enthused employees encircled him, and the attractive young waitress poured him a glass of champagne and snuggled up to him. The manager approached and seized his hand for a vigorous shake, “Well done sir! I see that not only have you hit the jackpot, but you’ve raised an additional $3,000.00 in points. A fabulous prize and well played I’m sure.”
Terry was flabbergasted. He’d never won anything like this… I still haven’t, not really, he reminded himself. He rarely broke even on his gambling forays, whether to the casino, or the corner store for lottery tickets and video slots. He allowed himself to be swept into the reverie and led from the machine to the bar. The employees peeled away as they approached, and he soon found himself with only the bottle and a receipt that he could cash out before he left the premises. A sullen-looking woman stood behind the bar, wiping glasses and a large, mean-looking security staffer menaced the far end. He already had his bottle, so he wasn’t sure why the staff members had deposited him with these two killjoys. He shrugged, picked up the champagne and started to walk away from the bar.
“You can’t take that with you. Either drink it here or give it to me and I’ll put it in the trash.” The bartender stated in monotone.
The security officer stood up straight from where he’d been leaning against the far wall, apparently propping up the building. He folded his massive arms in a threatening manner. Silly, thought Terry, folded arms should be a hindrance, but I get the feeling he’s dangerous regardless. He figured that he’d had enough anyway and set the nearly empty bottle on the bar, “You can keep it ma’am. I can afford another at the hotel.” Terry started to walk away from the bar, but a huge ham-like hand seized his shoulder.
Sausage-sized fingers applied painful pressure, “You apologize to the lady.” The wet heat from a mouth placed uncomfortably close to his ear and beath smelling of river bottom, sent a shiver of disgust through his body. The voice was low and deep as the river that ran past the back side of the property.
Terry decided on the better part of valor and head facing forward to avoid the obscene orifice, “Sorry ma’am, I meant no offense.”
The fingers let go and a harsh laugh sounded from behind the bar. “He don’t even know why he’s apologizing, fool. He ain’t worth the trouble, let him go.”
Terry felt a slight shove and he was sent on his way to the cash-out window. There he met with the lead cashier, an older woman in drab clothing, “I’m sorry sir, we give out only these pre-paid cards, we cannot provide cash over $1,000.00. However, you can treat them like a debit or credit card.” the cashier informed him. It seemed he had no choice, so he accepted. Thirteen grand is thirteen grand, he assured himself. He was elated, though he continued to glance around nervously, waiting for the woman in the sparkly fish-scale top to accost him and name him thief. Yet she was nowhere to be seen. The floor was full of players, some laughing, some intense, some dejected or mesmerized by the games of chance in which they’d lost themselves.
He thought about what to do with the rest of his evening. He didn’t have a hotel room; he’d planned to sleep in his station wagon as he always did before the long haul home. Perhaps he should get a room? Maybe they would take him without a reservation… he giggled a little at the unintended pun: a reservation at the Reservation… he shook his head to clear his overreaction to the silly internal joke. He decided that maybe someone on staff could help him. He approached the major domo at the front entrance that led to the interior walkway and the hotel beyond, “Excuse me sir, do you know whether the hotel will accept a resident without a prior reservation?”
The man, single dark braid wrapped in a leather holder and draped over one shoulder, looked at him gravely, “Yes, I know.” He said nothing more and did not smile as though he’d intended to be humorous.
Terry tried again, “Will you tell me please?”
The man flicked his chin in the direction of the hotel, “See the clerk at the desk.”
“Jerk, you’d think I hadn’t pissed away enough cash in this place over the past few years,” Terry muttered as he stumped toward the hotel, ensuring that he was well beyond earshot before he spoke. His head had begun to buzz a little from the champagne. Took a while for it to affect me, he mused. The hallway appeared to narrow, and his peripheral vision grew grey. He felt dizzy and as he entered the main lobby, the large room began to spin. His last view was of the sky-blue ceiling decorated with a few puffy clouds as it faded into darkness like the sun had set.
He awakened to the sounds of voices chattering happily. He looked around, his vision blurred slightly and his head feeling heavy and sore. He soon found that he could not move his arms or legs… they were bound… he was strapped to a table. He saw numerous bodies moving about in the mostly dark space in which he found himself. “Please.” He croaked, throat dry and feeling scraped. “Please, help me, let me loose. Loose me…” his perceptions cleared slowly, and he saw that the bodies that moved around him, now chanting rhythmically rather than babble-chattering, were emaciated. The owners showed as much bone through their skin as would a dead thing, long decayed. He noted spikes above a few heads… no, antlers… The rest wore… masks? Of various beasts… no, the skulls of those creatures, still filled with glistening fangs. Their dance grew ever more frantic, more energetic than they should be capable of performing. Then one of them reached out with a stick, on the end of which was a small claw, taken and preserved from some dead animal. It used the claw to gouge out a scoop of flesh from Terry’s side. He screamed in torment and horror. His screams soon matched the rhythm of the chanting and they went on for a long time before they at last faded when he’d lost too much blood to remain conscious.
**** * **** END PAGE 1 of 2

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Hello,
I am a gambling addict. I recognized my addiction 10 years ago but didn’t acknowledge it and try to get better until 5 years ago.
After struggling to stay gamble free for 2 years, I finally was able to stop completely with support of family and friends around me. I opened up to them and in return was blessed with love and empathy.
Last week I was 15 days away from 3 years straight gamble free. For business I had to travel to a different state, and there was a casino open near my hotel that my company put me in. I wanted to go in just to see how it felt and prove I was disconnected. This was a mistake.
I sat at a slot and immediately couldn’t help myself. I convinced myself that I needed to play to prove that it wouldn’t feel the same. I know that from an outside perspective this rationalization sounds utterly foolish, but in the moment I tricked my mind to where it made sense.
I put in a $100 bill and hit the max bet for a $20 spin. Nothing. Hit it again, and the feature triggers and goes to the bonus wheel.
The wheel stops. The machine screams and the lights go haywire. I hear people around me clapping. I hit the Mega Jackpot for $163,000.
Now, I was smart enough to take the net winnings after tax and get out of there as fast as I could. Since then I have paid off every dollar of debt I had and I still have a ton of money leftover just sitting in my checking account. My credit report will now show $0 debt. Credit cards and student loans gone.
I’m still in shock. While it’s incredible to be debt free and have some real cash on hand, I feel like I didn’t deserve this and I should’ve been punished, not rewarded. I haven’t gambled since and I am currently 6 days clean after the relapse.
My grandpa, who is super supportive, told me to take it as a blessing from God. He said that I should use it as motivation to “go out a winner” and if I ever feel like gambling again to just remember I’ll never win more than I did this time.
Guys, I’m conflicted emotionally and mentally. I’m afraid of myself and how easily I relapsed after almost 3 years. I’m disappointed and afraid. I keep thinking about what could’ve happened if I didn’t get ridiculously lucky and win the jackpot and if I just kept losing. I would’ve probably played until I lost it all, as I used to until 3 years ago.
I used to say, “one day I’ll hit the jackpot and all my problems will be solved.” What sucks is I had just come to terms with how sick and delusional that sounded when I’d say it. The issue is, it actually happened now, and I’m in the best financial place I’ve ever been. I should feel on top of the world.
I know not to go back. I need to hear from others though. I need advice to help me stay strong and to help me forgive myself. Please.

…The raging river, pulled them down.
Now they’ll always, be together,
In that Happy Hunting Ground…
- Running Bear by Sonny James
“Snakeyes! New roller, please, next up.” The game runner raked in the dice and chips and ignored the despair in the countenance of the most recent “high roller”. Ted shook his head and other people crowded him away from the dice pit. He was almost out of funds and it was still early. He’d budgeted his, “loss level” carefully to maximize his time at the reservation casino. It was an older one, filled with stereotypical paintings and statues intended to honor the local First Nations Tribes while fulfilling the expectations of rude tourists. He looked around forlornly for a new game to play. He didn’t care for the slots or the drawn-out and ever-shifting card games… ah, Blackjack! There was an opening at the table.
He rushed over before anyone else could snag it and bustled onto the chair. “Okay to deal me in on the next hand?” He interrupted the dealer, who ignored him until he was done dealing out the rest of the players and raking in the chips. He still did not speak but once Ted placed the minimum bet, he flipped a card down in front of him and the game began. Ted immediately started winning the straightforward game. He picked up most of his losses from his unfortunate run at craps and was finally enjoying himself. The couple at the far end of the table had apparently had enough and didn’t care for the new player. Ted liked to talk to new people and thought he was good at it. Before long, the other players had left and it was down to him, the dealer, and an older man, who wore a black cowboy style hat and chain-smoked thin cigarillos.
Ted, grinning heartily at his latest win, glanced over at the man, who had just fired up his next cancer-stick, “You know casinos, and a few bars are the last public places where anyone smokes. I remember when there were smoking sections at most places and my parents told me that there used to be no restrictions. I’ll bet you get plenty of pressure to stop from your family and friends. It’s a pretty bad habit for your long-term health…” Ted usually rambled on past any non-verbal cues that people might give him to stop talking, yet his diatribe came to a screeching halt at the look with which the stern-faced elder favored him.
The older man drew in a long pull on the firestick and then exhaled the stinking cloud into Ted’s face. He coughed a little and gagged at the odor of the raw blend of tobacco and chemicals. The old one removed the cigarillo from his mouth and tapped ashes onto the edge of the table and down onto the floor at his toes, “Sonny, nobody cares. Nobody wants your opinion, and you are not special, no matter what your mommy told you. I’ll do as I please and if you don’t like it, go bother people at another table.”
Ted gaped in shock. In his mind, the man’s words verged on an “assault”. He looked helplessly at the dealer, who just ducked his head and tried not to laugh. Indignant, he rose, took his pile of chips and fled into the depths of the gaming house in search of a friendlier table. He didn’t find one that he liked, so he finally gave up and sat at the bar. The bartender seemed to ignore him in favor of tidying up her workspace. He cleared his throat and received only a glance. He mumbled as much to himself as to her, “I just want a drink while I wait for a table to open.” He wondered at her stony silence, maybe she resents me for being…
His vocal ruminations were interrupted by a feminine voice, “What do you want?”
Ted looked up to see the bartender, mocking smile in place below shining, mesmerizing eyes. Ted simply gaped and eventually worked his jaw uselessly. The bartender shrugged and walked back to the other end of the bar. She spoke with a large man who was clearly part of the security team. He glared at Ted while she spoke. Ted wanted to avoid a confrontation. He’d been conditioned that he should seek authorities if such a situation loomed. Yet casino security was the only available authority here locally. There were Tribal Police on the Reservation, but he wasn’t sure they would want to listen to him. He finally shrugged and decided to go back over to the hotel for the rest of the night. This trip had been very unsatisfying… like all those he’d taken since he moved away from his parents’ home a few years previously.
There was an indoor walkway to the hotel, but Ted decided to go by the outdoor route to get some fresh air and enjoy the natural beauty that the builders had incorporated into the facility. As he walked dejectedly down the sidewalk, local flora pressing in from each side, he heard, from the nearby forest, a screeching wail. It startled him and he had to stop a moment to catch his breath and wait for his heart rate to slow to something more manageable. He realized that it must have been an owl or some other night bird. His father had told him that there were always weird noises “out in the sticks”.
As he plunged his hands into his pockets and determined to go to his room for rest, he caught the faint smell of burning tobacco on the breeze. It wafted over his shoulder from behind and caused him to emit a feeble cough. He looked back in annoyance. In the shadows behind him, he saw a figure. It was dark and stood still in a way that made him uncomfortable. An orange glowing circle of embers hovered around the face and rendered just enough light to illuminate the blue-grey curls of smoke as they exited the tiny conflagration and rose above the brim of a black hat. The ember flared for a moment and then flashed to the ground and was snuffed by a shadowed… foot? It wasn’t exactly clear to Ted; the figure’s lower extremities were... blurred. An even brighter flare, from a lighter or match stabbed into Ted’s eyes as the Smoker lit his next cigarillo.
Ted glared irritation but felt uncomfortable at the unnatural stillness to which the figure returned once the new fire was lit. He coughed once more, this time deliberately in a passive-aggressive attempt to communicate his displeasure and resumed his walk. He strained to listen behind him to determine whether the figure followed. He truly wished to get away from the stink and the threat of cancer or other respiratory illnesses. He slowed to listen, then gave up and looked over his shoulder again. There was no figure in the dark back near the exit to the casino. He turned to resume his walk, but a smoky black form now loomed before him! Its eyes glowed and smoked like large twin cigars as it gaped a maw that emitted pure black smoke and glowed with blue flames within the deep tunnel of the throat. Ted’s consciousness fled his body and found itself in a burning nightmare landscape that extended for as far as he could perceive in all directions.
**** * ****
Darnell, known to his public as “Murder Bush” a deliberate mistranslation of “merde bouche” a.k.a. “Deadly Rapper” for having been a suspect in a shooting back in his youth, stepped up to the dice pit as the geeky dude left. He had plenty of chips and cash to back them. His entourage was there to support him and kiss his backside as often as he wished. He rolled through six passes before he crapped out. He hadn’t over-bet, so he’d won a small amount. He picked up his latest winning chips and handed them to the hostess who had kept him well plied with drinks and snacks. He was sure that for the right price, she would take care of his other needs. He played a few card tables and finished with Roulette.
Each time he won a few chips, he passed them on to the young woman or to one of his flunkies. In the end, they had all received at least some reward for the praises they’d heaped upon him; not for any real accomplishments, but rather to curry favor with the man whom they considered to be wealthy and important: a celebrity. The girl stayed at his side and except for when he asked her questions, she said nothing. He liked that: bitch know her place, he reveled in internal satisfaction. He liked her looks too. She was medium height and a little, “thick”. She was clearly interested but hadn’t gotten in his way when he flirted with other women. He truly liked this one. The more he considered her, the more he wanted to get down to business.
Eventually, he posed the question to her, “How much for the next few hours?” His brazen suggestion that she would take money for sexual favors was the final test. If she grew angry, then she didn’t appreciate his genius…
“Whatever you think is fair. How about we see if I can satisfy you? If I can, then you may want to be generous… as you have been so far.” She hefted the chips so that the pieces clinked in her palm. “If not, I don’t deserve a reward.”
She had passed with flying colors. Might even take this one back to civilization with me, he purred in his mind. He’d always thought of himself as a Big Cat… maybe a leopard or jaguar, definitely something dangerous and sleek. His need grew more intense by the moment. He desperately wanted this woman. “Come on, let’s go to my room.” He husked in a voice grown thick with desire.
They reached his suite, his groupies having been dismissed to their own nefarious pursuits, even his bodyguard. The big man had shrugged, “Your call boss-man.” and then stumped across the hallway to his own room. Now he was finally alone with… her. He stripped off his shirt and flipped his shoes into a corner. She stood by the window and watched. The drinks he’d consumed finally caught up with him before he’d shucked his pants and drawers, “Hold on, I’ll be right back.” He was excited, which made urinating a challenge, but it had to be done, so that he could maximize his pleasure. When he stepped from the restroom, au natural, he saw that his latest conquest had done the same and now stood, bare to the world and staring out the window, all the curtains on it pushed to one side, so that the night loomed and the light of a single small desk lamp lit the room. He stalked over to her, ready to take her right there at the window in full view of anyone who looked up from the outside. He secretly hoped for an audience. He enjoyed having others watch him take what he wanted.
She turned to face him, her head lowered… no, it had sunken into her body, only her hair remained above her shoulders! A… mouth, gaping and slavering opened on her stomach, a mouth too large for her body and rimmed with rows of teeth like sharpened spikes. She stepped forward to embrace him and the screaming began… sounds that he was accustomed to eliciting from others rather than emitting from his own person.
**** * ****
“Rhino” was unhappy. He didn’t like to leave Darnell unattended. Perhaps now that his boss was in the room, he could go stand guard outside the door. He took care of some personal ablutions as he wolfed down a couple of energy bars and then walked out into the hallway. He started to settle in front of Darnell’s door, when he heard a muffled scream and faint… slobbering-gobbling noises come from the other side. He quickly tried the door, initially too panicked to think of the extra key card with which Darnell had entrusted him. He fumbled for it and soon had the door open. The interior was completely dark. The light from the hallway spilled inward but didn’t seem to reach as far into the room as it should.
He drew his pistol from the holster on his waistband and began to stalk forward, “Boss, you okay? You hurt?” The room was as silent as a tomb, he shivered a little as that thought crossed his mind. Over by the closed drapes, he smelled something awful: fresh blood and spilled entrails… recent death. His feet squelched on wet carpet. He turned around quickly. There had been no noise, but he’d felt a… presence. There she stood, arms spread wide, mouth on her gut spread wider. Rhino wasn’t one to scream or yell, even in extremis, so no others would come to this room to investigate.
**** * ****
Shelly was glad when the rowdy group left the roulette wheel that sat behind her favorite row of slots. The former “one-armed bandits”, that were now, “multiple button digital bandits” lined every available wall space, and in some spaces stood in rows that drew regulars like a dung-heap draws flies. She’d grabbed her favorite machine early in the evening and sat sliding in dollar bills and working up her points. It was called “Buffalo Dance” and featured images of American Bison and feather-bedecked hunters. The theme on the screen matched and she hoped to one day see the “White Buffalo” image adorn the entire set of images… the grand prize view. Despite the fun graphics, it was her favorite because it was near a restroom and a free soda and snack bar. She found herself ahead and on a roll. She absently lipped her dangling cigarette back into her mouth for a long draw. The smoke obscured the screen for a moment, and then she noted a shadow that lengthened across the reflective surface. Someone stood close behind her. Someone who exuded a chilly air. She paused and looked around, “Can I help you?”
There was no answer, though the shadow shifted slightly as if its caster had heard her.
Now she grew annoyed, this is just the sort of thing to break my winning streak! she raged internally. She braced her hands against the machine and worked her buttocks to make the stool on which she perched spin, so she could confront her harasser. She gaped, and nearly lost her cigarette, there was no one standing near enough to cast the shadow. No one even faced her. She chalked it up to excitement, maybe someone stepped too close when passing to go to the restroom, she thought, still a little annoyed and... chilled.
She turned back to her game and continued working the buttons, pumping in bills, and winning, a little at a time, the points now built well above her investment. This weekend is gonna pay for the last two months of losing and breaking even, she thought triumphantly. The shadow loomed across the screen once more, this time even larger, as though the figure that cast it stood closer. The shape was amorphous but hinted at anthropomorphic. She shivered as an icy breeze flowed around her, as though the air conditioning had sent out a short, cold burst, a minor malfunction…
She turned around with more alacrity and determination than the last time, mouth agape, cigarette once more dangling… precipitously and endangering the cleavage she displayed, already baked and wrinkled from years of sunbathing. The frigid air passed, and no one stood anywhere near her, though a customer approached, headed for either snacks or relief. “Excuse me sir, did you just see someone, maybe a large man, standing behind me?”
The man paused and looked at her in confusion. He had clearly been absorbed in his own thoughts, “Er, what? Uh, No. I wasn’t really paying attention, but… no.” He bustled on toward the free fountain drinks machine.
Shelly shrugged, can’t give up now, the pot is even bigger. She checked her points; she was nearing her all-time high. The winnings would pay her space rental fee at the RV park for the entire month. She pressed and played the buttons more fervently than ever, determined to break the bank on straight points or to reach that magical spin that would offer an instant reward of $10,000.00. She set her new points record and reveled for a moment. She reached for the now small stack of dollar bills the rest having been devoured by the machine. She fed in the entire remaining amount, then once more gazed at the screen. It was entirely blackened by a looming shadow.
The temperature of the air around her plummeted and she shuddered with the sudden biting cold. The cigarette was long extinguished, and she’d let the cold fag fall into the ash tray built onto the side of the machine opposite the drink holder. She was so cold, and she wanted to cry out for help, but the darkness closed in around her as the shadow enveloped her and cut off her breathing. Her fingers, paused above the “spin” button, struck and as her consciousness faded, she saw the flashing blue light and heard the blare of the winner’s siren. White Buffalo images filled all nine spaces. I won! The grand prize!
**** * ****
Terry filled his large cup and stood sipping and daydreaming. He’d lost everything he’d budgeted to lose. Yet he knew that one more try would put him back in black for this trip. He mused about what he would do with the prize money. He’d set his limit at $300.00 and had quickly lost it all on slots. Maybe he could risk just a few more dollars… skip a lunch or two until his next paycheck if it didn’t work. He was startled by the jackpot winner’s flashing light and siren that went off just behind him. That bitch! He yelled internally. Figures some old used up skank would win the big prize. He looked over at the nearby machine with anger and envy vying for control of his senses. She was gone!
He stepped over to the machine and looked around in confusion. Maybe she’d gone to the restroom? No, she’d have passed right by me. He shook his head and stepped up to look at the screen. He could still feel the recent presence of a player, the trace of warmth from a human body that might linger in a space for just a moment after the human had vacated the space. He looked around the casino floor, she was nowhere in sight. She’d been wearing a low-cut silver-spangled top that was cut way too low for her sagging, sun-ravaged bosom. She should be easy to spy, she looked like a deflated disco ball that had fallen from the ceiling to play slots. The only thing that came his way was a train of employees, led by a waitress in a skimpy outfit with purple sparkles and carrying a tray with a glass and a dark bottle. She was followed by other employees, who’d formed a sort of conga line: they sang a congratulatory chorus as they approached.
Terry gaped for a moment when he realized that they thought he was the big winner. He’d have to deny it of course. Surely the woman would be back at any moment to claim her prize. The floor cameras would have recorded who had sat at the machine, but it was too late. The group of enthused employees encircled him, and the attractive young waitress poured him a glass of champagne and snuggled up to him. The manager approached and seized his hand for a vigorous shake, “Well done sir! I see that not only have you hit the jackpot, but you’ve raised an additional $3,000.00 in points. A fabulous prize and well played I’m sure.”
Terry was flabbergasted. He’d never won anything like this… I still haven’t, not really, he reminded himself. He rarely broke even on his gambling forays, whether to the casino, or the corner store for lottery tickets and video slots. He allowed himself to be swept into the reverie and led from the machine to the bar. The employees peeled away as they approached, and he soon found himself with only the bottle and a receipt that he could cash out before he left the premises. A sullen-looking woman stood behind the bar, wiping glasses and a large, mean-looking security staffer menaced the far end. He already had his bottle, so he wasn’t sure why the staff members had deposited him with these two killjoys. He shrugged, picked up the champagne and started to walk away from the bar.
“You can’t take that with you. Either drink it here or give it to me and I’ll put it in the trash.” The bartender stated in monotone.
The security officer stood up straight from where he’d been leaning against the far wall, apparently propping up the building. He folded his massive arms in a threatening manner. Silly, thought Terry, folded arms should be a hindrance, but I get the feeling he’s dangerous regardless. He figured that he’d had enough anyway and set the nearly empty bottle on the bar, “You can keep it ma’am. I can afford another at the hotel.” Terry started to walk away from the bar, but a huge ham-like hand seized his shoulder.
Sausage-sized fingers applied painful pressure, “You apologize to the lady.” The wet heat from a mouth placed uncomfortably close to his ear and beath smelling of river bottom, sent a shiver of disgust through his body. The voice was low and deep as the river that ran past the back side of the property.
Terry decided on the better part of valor and head facing forward to avoid the obscene orifice, “Sorry ma’am, I meant no offense.”
The fingers let go and a harsh laugh sounded from behind the bar. “He don’t even know why he’s apologizing, fool. He ain’t worth the trouble, let him go.”
Terry felt a slight shove and he was sent on his way to the cash-out window. There he met with the lead cashier, an older woman in drab clothing, “I’m sorry sir, we give out only these pre-paid cards, we cannot provide cash over $1,000.00. However, you can treat them like a debit or credit card.” the cashier informed him. It seemed he had no choice, so he accepted. Thirteen grand is thirteen grand, he assured himself. He was elated, though he continued to glance around nervously, waiting for the woman in the sparkly fish-scale top to accost him and name him thief. Yet she was nowhere to be seen. The floor was full of players, some laughing, some intense, some dejected or mesmerized by the games of chance in which they’d lost themselves.
He thought about what to do with the rest of his evening. He didn’t have a hotel room; he’d planned to sleep in his station wagon as he always did before the long haul home. Perhaps he should get a room? Maybe they would take him without a reservation… he giggled a little at the unintended pun: a reservation at the Reservation… he shook his head to clear his overreaction to the silly internal joke. He decided that maybe someone on staff could help him. He approached the major domo at the front entrance that led to the interior walkway and the hotel beyond, “Excuse me sir, do you know whether the hotel will accept a resident without a prior reservation?”
The man, single dark braid wrapped in a leather holder and draped over one shoulder, looked at him gravely, “Yes, I know.” He said nothing more and did not smile as though he’d intended to be humorous.
Terry tried again, “Will you tell me please?”
The man flicked his chin in the direction of the hotel, “See the clerk at the desk.”
“Jerk, you’d think I hadn’t pissed away enough cash in this place over the past few years,” Terry muttered as he stumped toward the hotel, ensuring that he was well beyond earshot before he spoke. His head had begun to buzz a little from the champagne. Took a while for it to affect me, he mused. The hallway appeared to narrow, and his peripheral vision grew grey. He felt dizzy and as he entered the main lobby, the large room began to spin. His last view was of the sky-blue ceiling decorated with a few puffy clouds as it faded into darkness like the sun had set.
He awakened to the sounds of voices chattering happily. He looked around, his vision blurred slightly and his head feeling heavy and sore. He soon found that he could not move his arms or legs… they were bound… he was strapped to a table. He saw numerous bodies moving about in the mostly dark space in which he found himself. “Please.” He croaked, throat dry and feeling scraped. “Please, help me, let me loose. Loose me…” his perceptions cleared slowly, and he saw that the bodies that moved around him, now chanting rhythmically rather than babble-chattering, were emaciated. The owners showed as much bone through their skin as would a dead thing, long decayed. He noted spikes above a few heads… no, antlers… The rest wore… masks? Of various beasts… no, the skulls of those creatures, still filled with glistening fangs. Their dance grew ever more frantic, more energetic than they should be capable of performing. Then one of them reached out with a stick, on the end of which was a small claw, taken and preserved from some dead animal. It used the claw to gouge out a scoop of flesh from Terry’s side. He screamed in torment and horror. His screams soon matched the rhythm of the chanting and they went on for a long time before they at last faded when he’d lost too much blood to remain conscious.
**** * ****

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Hey, folks. I wasn't going to post this since I didn't think it met the criteria for tech support, and probably isn't all that interesting, but I figure I might as well - if it doesn't make the cut, the mods will take it down, and I'll get a better story another day.
Me again with another story from the wonderful world of casinos. As my name implies, I'm a slot techician, which means I fix the machines and get asked 1024 times a day if I can rig it to win as if it's the funniest shit I've ever heard.
Like my other story, any names, brands, amounts, and locations that may appear have been changed for anonymity. Procedures may be changed if altering them does not break the flow of the story. Industry-standard terms (e.g. "TITO") have been left as-is.
With COVID still a major issue in my jurisdiction, I haven't been able to satisfy my crippling Altoids addiction as well as I had been before April - and to make things worse, I had grabbed the wrong tin when I'd gone to the store yesterday. (Why they'd decided to make peppermint and cinnamon look so similar, I'll never know.)
I and $supervisor from the previous story were in the tech shop, shooting the breeze and relaxing between calls, when the radio earpiece crackled up with the sweet sound of... background noise. I'm pretty sure I heard a voice in there somewhere, before the channel went dead. It definitely wasn't an accidental key, since the assault on my ear lasted a solid ten seconds.

$me: "Repeat that? All we got was background noise."

The radio crackled back to life, and the quality of it wasn't much better, but at least they were talking in the vicinity of their microphone this time - it was enough for me to hear the location "1-Foxtrot-2301".

$me: "You said 1-Fox-2301?"
$radio with excessive background noise: "10-4."

I stand up and stretch my legs a moment, and $supervisor and I walk out to the machine that bore the location plate reading 1-FF-2301. That one was a game we'd recently converted into a 3-pack of linked games that "shared" a bonus, which linked all 3 upper screens together. Of note is that the "shared bonus" was on a timer as a sort of attract mode, rather than triggered via gameplay - it would appear at certain intervals, and players would have to get a certain combination on the payline to play this bonus mode. After a period of time elapsed in the shared bonus mode, the game would return to normal play, to repeat again a few minutes later.
This was my first shift back after the games had been converted, so I hadn't had the time to read the game rules before then. (Still haven't, actually.)
The attendant - Rebecca, one of the ones that would actually try to troubleshoot some issues before calling us - was there when we arrived. She explained the issue to me and $supervisor: The patron wasn't seeing the win tally at the end of the shared bonus, when the timer reached zero and returned to normal play. Rebecca had tried explaining that it wasn't like a free-games bonus where the win was tallied at the end, but the patron wouldn't accept the answer. Rebecca then checked that we didn't need her, and excused herself to handle other calls.
So, we watch the game. Soon enough, it goes into the shared bonus mode, and almost immediately I notice that it's a "game within a game" bonus, where the paytable is changed but wagering is still required to play (compared to a free games bonus, where the paytable is usually the same, but a wager is not required). And as the patron is playing, she's mashing the spin button like it was the "fire" button on a Galaga coin-op. Eventually, she gets awarded a "trip" to the shared bonus on the upper screens, and wins... a good chunk of money, actually.
And then we see the issue: as it was tallying at the end of the "trip", she began playing Galaga again with the spin button, skipping the tally animation on the upper screen.
Eventually, the timer ends, the game exits the shared bonus mode, and the patron is upset that the win didn't show up on the upper screen.

$patron: "See? It didn't show the 'big win' with the little numbers!"
$me: "It showed, you just skipped it. When you press the spin button, it'll skip the little numbers."
$patron: "But I didn't! It didn't show when the timer hit zero!"
$me: "You weren't in the bonus when the timer hit zero. It tried to play right after you went in the bonus, but you pressed 'spin' and skipped it."
$patron: "Are you sure?"
$me: "Yes, ma'am. We can wait for another bonus and show you, if you want."

The patron nods, and eventually the five or so minutes passes before the shared bonus mode triggers again. A couple of spins into it, the patron gets another trip to the bonus. The bonus plays out, and I see her reach for the spin button.

**$me: "Ma'am, no, wait. Don't press the button yet."

The patron looks at me confused, and I gesture towards the screen, which reads "BIG WIN" with the numbers quickly counting up to a number I'd normally expect to see on my check stub. After a couple of seconds, the patron gives the 'Ohhhhhhh' of Understanding and thanks us.
Reels turn on, electronic bells ring, and someone, somewhere, wins a jackpot large enough for it to be taxable. As for me, I just curse the peppermint Altoids I'd grabbed yesterday.

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I held up my boarding pass and walked through the gate. My wife, Harper, was right ahead of me, and we both were so loaded with bags and suitcases that we could barely fit between the doorways. Our 10th anniversary was in a couple of days. We both had come into agreement that there was no better way to celebrate than to go on an all-expense-paid cruise to Hawaii.
As we made it up to the deck, we marveled at all the entertainment. There was a band playing to greet us. Pools, water slides, mini-golf, a drive-in sized screen that was displaying boarding information, bars, and restaurants, and that was just what we could see while walking in! This was definitely the right choice for our anniversary vacation. I couldn’t wait to get these bags unloaded and start to enjoy ourselves.
We went into the doors that led to the cabins. There was another beautiful bar down below us. There was a sports bar to the left showing the games on different screens and a small library to our right. Before we made it to the cabins, there was a coffee bar that served specialty coffees and desserts. If religion has it right, I hope that heaven is something like this. You couldn’t walk through a door anywhere without finding something exciting.
Once we made it to our cabin, we dropped all our bags and looked at each other with stars in our eyes. I pulled my wife close for a kiss and then kept my arms around her. I asked eagerly about how we should begin.
“Well, what should we do first? The casino? The arcade?”
She smirked before replying.
“Such a man, don’t forget about the fine dining at 6, followed by the show at the Theatre.”
I drew back and acted faux offended.
“Are you insinuating that I have no culture? I made our reservations before we even boarded, don’t worry. Dinner isn’t for a long time though, how about we go get some of those tacos and a coffee to get ourselves going.”
“Now you’re speaking my language.” She replied with a grin.
“Let’s unpack later. I am starving, and I think that coffee bar right there makes caramel macchiatos.”
Her eyes lit up yet again as I grabbed her hand, and we rushed towards the door. The coffee bar did have macchiatos, which I got with an extra shot of espresso. She ordered a frozen drink that was more sweetness than coffee, and we made our way back onto the deck where the tacos awaited.
The weather was beautiful. It was Fall time, and the sun was just warm enough to be inviting, accompanied by the blissful breeze that blew along the top of the deck. As we drew near to Tito’s Taco Shop, we heard the captain coming through the loudspeakers announcing takeoff. He reminded us about the mandatory safety meeting in a couple of hours and then wished us to have a great time aboard the ship.
It was still strange to be in large groups of people without wearing a mask. The pandemic was finally eradicated once the vaccines were distributed. The cruise and tourism industries were hit hard, as were many others. It seemed that people were at last willing to come back out again, and there was no shortage of cruise-goers ready for a trip to the islands.
I had my phone out and was looking up things to do in Honolulu for the days that we were in port. Scuba diving was a must. I had heard that sometimes you could see sharks or even hold an octopus on your hand if you got lucky enough. I wanted to do some hiking near the volcanoes if we had time. All the spam was going to be strange, but as much as they cook with it, I bet they were able to make it taste like a delicacy.
They were in the process of building a new aquarium. It looked like it was going to be a huge one. Sadly, it did not look like it would be done in time for us to check it out. The black sands beach looked incredible, though. Instead of sand, it said that the whole beach was covered in smooth black lava rocks. We would definitely have to make a stop there.
“Ethan! Do you want salsa on your tacos? Chicken or steak?”
I put my phone away and looked at the meats before responding and did so to the guy who was making them as he finished up my wife’s two glorious looking tacos.
“I’ll take one of both with some of that green salsa. Thank you!”
All the free tacos that you could eat, why couldn’t life always be like that?
“Let’s sit over there by the side, so we can watch the takeoff,” Harper said, before taking a big sip of her frozen coffee.
We took a seat and took in the last sight of land that we would see for about 4 days. Once we arrived, we would tour the different islands, stopping at each port and having a day to explore. There were some people on land waving towards the ship. We joined many others who were near the side waving back. I couldn’t help but feel bad for all of those poor people stuck on the land.
“Bon Voyage to us, I guess.”
I held up my coffee for a cheers, and Harper returned the gesture. Her face was glowing. I couldn’t remember seeing her so happy since the day of our wedding.
“This is really going to be a nice break from reality.” She said as she picked up her taco to take her first bite.
“Yeah, it will. Nothing like this in the world.”
We took our time, enjoying each bite as our view of the coastline became a thing of the past. When we were finished, we looked into each other’s eyes. I reached across the table to hold her hand. She sounded a bit anxious as she spoke.
“It is a lot to take in, isn’t it? There is so much to do that I’m afraid of missing out on something. Where should we go first?”
I squeezed her hand and spoke in a reassuring tone.
“We have plenty of time to take it all in. Let’s just make sure to relax and do whatever makes us happy. It will all work itself out.”
Once we had our fill of gazing into the ocean, we decided that we would head back to the room and get unpacked, while we waited for the safety orientation. The time flew by, and before we knew it, they were calling our section over the loudspeaker.
We arrived with all the other passengers and waited for a moment until the crew member made it so we could begin. They gave us the spiel about the life jackets. They explained how the evacuation process works in case of a problem and let us hear a sample of the siren that would be played if there was an emergency.
I was zoning out and staring out of the window. We were near the bottom of the ship, and you could see the water moving beside us. It put me in a bit of a trance, and I kind of lost myself in it for a moment. I was snapped out of it when I saw something I couldn’t quite comprehend.
It happened pretty fast, and most of the people were looking at the crew member as he spoke. I could have been mistaking, but It looked like a giant tentacle had moved by the window and curled out of sight.
I looked around to see if anyone else had seen what I thought I just saw. There was a teenaged boy who looked excited and shocked. He was tugging at his father’s sleeve and explaining something to him. He seemed to brush him off and looked frustrated at the interruption. Everyone else was paying attention to the speech and had apparently not seen a thing.
Harper noticed how shaken I was and asked me quietly if everything was alright. I shook it off and said I would tell her about it later. We sat through the rest of the orientation. Nothing else went by the window, other than the waves being made by the ship.
As we arrived back on the deck, we were grabbing a drink from the tiki-themed bar. Harper chose one of those blue drinks with the little umbrella on top. After what I had seen, I opted for a straight glass of their best scotch. I had explained my story to her, and she was busy trying to figure out what it could have been that I saw.
“So, you’re sure it was all the way up by the window? Even at that lower level, that must be pretty high up from the water. Maybe it was something that crawled up the side, and it just seemed like it was larger because of forced-perspective?”
I took a big sip of my scotch and shook my head in confusion.
“Yeah, I mean, maybe. I really don’t know.”
She looked as if a light bulb went off in her head, and she shot back a smart remark.
“You’ve been reading a bunch of that H. P. Lovecraft stuff again, haven’t you? I’m sure it wasn’t Cthulhu if that’s what you are thinking.”
I laughed and felt my tension release.
“No, it’s not that. I just thought it was weird, that’s all. Enough about that, let’s figure out what we’re going to do until the formal dinner and play tonight.”
She responded with a grin.
“I seem to remember someone mentioning the arcade and the casino.”
I must have looked like a kid on Christmas morning because she burst out laughing. We finished our drinks and made our way past the large screen that was now cycling through reminders of all the different events that you could attend. Night club, comedy club, it seemed like there was no end to the number of things you could do on this ship.
We walked through the casino that was already bustling with cruise-goers. It looked like a good time. They even had versions of those toy cranes that were set up to pick up huge wads of cash. That might be the next stop, but I had my eyes set on the zombie shooter game with two green guns. The arcade was right past the casino and was full of all kinds of games to keep us entertained.
Not as many people were eager to jump straight for the arcade apparently. Harper and I had the whole place to ourselves. I went to the coin machine to get out some tokens. There was a door that read “Staff Only” right by the machine. I heard a loud slamming noise that caught my attention, even over the music that was playing in the arcade. I leaned in a little and heard a heated conversation on the other side.
“This is so fucked up. I can’t believe that they got loose. They need to tell all of the people!”
“Can you imagine the chaos that would cause? I get where you are coming from, trust me. It’s better this way, though.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right… People would be going crazy.”
The door opened, and I jumped as I was still leaning in to eavesdrop. This must have been apparent to the two kids who walked out because they looked a bit frightened and then hurried right past me. I grabbed the tokens out of the machine and walked over to the machine where my wife was waiting.
“You look like you just saw a ghost or something. Don’t tell me some fish people are walking around on board now.”
I couldn’t even fake a laugh or smile. I explained what I had just heard as I put the coins into the machine and started up the game. She did not seem concerned about the new development.
“They could have been talking about a mechanical issue or something. Try not to worry too much. We deserve to have the time of our lives on this trip. I don’t want you to start to obsess on this and lose sight of why we are here.”
I shrugged at this and answered in a resigned tone.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Worrying isn’t going to fix anything anyway. Could you please start taking out some of these zombies, though? I’m carrying the whole game over here. You have a power-up to use, hit the red button.”
She smacked me with the gun for talking trash, but the mood felt much lighter after that. Before long, we grew tired of the arcade and decided to play a few games at the casino. I have never been the best card player, and she was no better than me. This being the case, we opted for the giant money claw machine.
I swear that both of us grabbed a stack a handful of times each. The claw would never hold its grip, though. Feeling more than a little bit scammed, we decided to blow a bit of time at the slots until we had to go get ready for dinner. As soon as we sat down, the person who went on the money claw right behind us exclaimed loudly as the machine lit up and started to make a loud ringing noise. I looked over to Harper and gestured towards him.
“That seems about right, huh? We pump fifty dollars into that thing, and he walks away with a jackpot after one.”
“Such is life.” She responded as she pumped some tokens into the slot machine.
I couldn’t help but hear two guys on some machines behind us, as they were beginning to get a bit rowdy with each other.
“You tryin’ to say I don’t know what I saw man?”
His friend responded quickly.
“No, no, no, man. I’m not trying to say you’re seeing things or whatever else. I’m just saying that it’s crazy. There is no way it can be right!”
After this, the first man shot up out of his seat, knocking over his stool as he did. This caused quite the scene, and many people were starting to gaze in the direction now.
“Yeah, that’s alright. You think whatever the hell you want. I’m gonna go find someone to talk to about it right now!”
He stormed off, leaving his friend looking a bit shell-shocked and embarrassed. Harper looked toward me, and as if reading her mind, I pushed my seat back away from the machine.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here. We need to get ready for dinner.”
She raised her eyebrows in surprise at what we had just witnessed and responded.
“Sounds good to me. I haven’t won anything anyway. Let’s go.”
I looked back towards the guy’s friend, who he left standing there. After considering it for a moment, I leaned in towards my wife.
“You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you in just a second.”
She looked a bit frustrated but did not fight it.
“Hurry up, I want to make sure we get a good seat. It’s going to take us a while to get ready.”
She kissed me on the cheek and took off towards the deck, which led over towards the cabins. I walked up towards the man who was about to walk off before I caught his attention.
“Excuse me, sir? I overheard you and your friend. What was it that he thinks he saw?”
He looked at me warily. It was clear that he really didn’t want to discuss the matter.
“Look, he’s usually not like that, you know? I don’t know what’s gotten into him, honestly.”
I shook my head. He obviously didn’t understand why I was asking.
“No, I saw something strange as well. I’m not trying to say your friend is going crazy at all. I was just wondering what it is that he was saying he saw.”
This seemed to unnerve him more than help calm his nerves. He looked around to make sure nobody was listening in.
“Man, he was saying that he saw a giant fucking octopus, bro. Like, 30 feet long or so is how he was describing it. It’s ridiculous, there is no way they would allow something like that on one of these ships.”
My heart dropped all the way to my feet. I covered my mouth, and I think he could tell by my reaction that what he said had rocked me to the core. I stammered and managed a weak reply as horror rushed through my body.
“I..I… On the boat??”
He nodded and looked at me with the same type of concern he had been showing to his friend. My face must have been as white as a sheet at this point.
“Thanks.”
I took off out of the door, in a huge rush to catch up with Harper. I was looking around in a panic, my heart racing and ready to beat right out of my chest. I was about to just take off to the room when I heard Harper’s voice.
“Ethan! Over here, I grabbed some hot tea.”
I saw her over by the edge of the deck, waving me over. I ran up to her and could hardly focus.
“I thought you needed something to help you relax, and it looks like I was right. What are you freaking out about right now?”
I tried to collect my thoughts and was going to respond when she pointed behind me and cut me off.
“Hey, isn’t that the guy that was just going nuts in the casino?”
I turned around, and the man was being dragged towards a door that was marked “Employees Only”. Two larger deckhands were pulling him that way, each with a tight grip on one of his arms. He was fighting hard to try and break their hold and calling out for help. As they made it through the door with the man, I grabbed Harper by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.
“We have to go. Let’s get to the room, I don’t want to explain out here.”
She nodded, and we made our way towards the cabins. Once we were in our own cabin, she put down the hot teas on our dresser and walked right up to me with an exasperated look on her face.
“Babe, what in the heck is going on right now? This isn’t about the freaking tentacle that you saw out the window, is it?”
I looked shiftily around the room and towards our view of the ocean.
“Yes… I mean, no… Well, not really, anyway.”
“You have got to calm down. Just take a deep breath and explain.”
I did as she suggested and took a long deep breath to collect my thoughts. I told her about what the guy’s friend had said back at the casino. She made the connection between this and the man being dragged off the deck against his will. I also explained what I heard from the crew members when we were at the arcade. I could tell she was beginning to take what I was saying seriously.
I looked off into a corner as I made a connection. It seemed like a bit of a stretch to me, but it was the only thing I could think of. I know that she wouldn’t judge me at this point if it sounded a bit outlandish. After thinking it over for a moment, I decided to tell her what I was thinking.
“When I was looking for things to do in Honolulu earlier, there was an advertisement for a new aquarium that was coming soon. One of the main attractions was that they were going to have a bunch of Giant Pacific Octopi.
I didn’t think about it until now, but what if that is what is on this ship? Let me google it really quick, I had never heard of that type of octopus, so I didn’t think much of it.”
I got the search pulled up and nodded in a cold understanding before continuing.
“This is exactly what that guy was describing. I don’t know why they would use a cruise ship to deliver something like that. It’s the only thing that makes any sense right now, though.”
Harper was looking at the google search thoughtfully and responded.
“I mean, I guess that these were two of the hardest-hit economies during the pandemic, tourism, and cruise ships. It makes some kind of twisted sense that they would come together to try and help each other out. Octopi are known to be very mischievous, even when they aren’t the size of a freaking semi-trailer.”
She made a good point. Nothing had really made sense for a few years now with how crazy the world had been. This made as much sense as anything else when it was put into perspective. I just shook my head in amazement and looked towards her.
“Well, what do we do from here?”
“I know this is crazy, but I’m sure they will have a handle on those things. They would not have arranged to have them on board and not prepared for the possibility that they could escape.
I say we get ready and go to dinner as we had planned. We don’t want to spend our whole 10th-anniversary cruise holed-up in the cabin. Even if all this crazy guesswork is correct, and that is what the guy from the casino saw, I’m sure that they have everything under control.”
I pressed my fingers against my eyes and tried to wrap my mind around everything. I may have been scared out of my mind, but she was right. Our best bet was to hope that it was all under control and at least try to enjoy our time on the ship. This was not going to happen again anytime soon, if ever.
“Yeah. Let’s do that, I agree. Let’s just get dressed and try to have a good time. I’m sure if it was too bad, everyone would be on lockdown or something.”
She brightened up a bit with my saying this. We both went into our luggage and began to start the process of getting changed into our formal dining attire. Before long, I was tying the knot in my tie, and she was putting the final touches on her hair. I walked up behind her in the mirror and held her by the shoulders.
“You look incredible. Let’s go and have the time of our lives.”
She gave me a big smile, and I pulled her in for a kiss. I backed up and held out my arm towards her. As she grabbed onto it, we made our way for the door.
The formal dining room was the most luxurious area on the ship by far. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling. There were large wine racks along many of the walls, and the entire dining room was walled in by the most beautiful windows that I had ever seen. There was an ornate window on the ceiling as well. It was just beginning to get dark, and I was sure that soon we would be able to see the stars all across the sky.
The waiter walked up and asked what we would like to drink. He was dressed in a black vest with a bow tie and a white shirt. I told him that we would take a bottle of wine that he recommended. I also asked him to give me a recommendation for my meal. Once Harper heard his suggestion of parmesan encrusted lamb with asparagus, she decided that she would follow suit.
He brought out some bread with olive oil as a complimentary appetizer to go with our wine. As he poured our first glasses and set the bottle down, I grabbed my glass of wine and held it up toward my beautiful wife. She looked every bit as lovely as the day of our wedding, and I was flooded with a flurry of emotions as I said my toast.
“Here is to 10 amazing years. Every one of them has been an adventure, and I look forward to every year that I’ll be lucky enough to spend with you as we continue that adventure.”
She smiled and blushed ever so slightly as she reached her glass to clink off of mine. We both took a sip, and she responded in a relieved manner.
“That’s the spirit, it is starting to actually feel like a relaxing vacation.”
“Hey, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? It’s so nice to have a break from work, housework, and all the monotony of the day-to-day. We make a pretty good team through all of that drudgery, though. Don’t you think?”
Suddenly, I saw the smile get wiped from her face. The look that crept onto her face was one of sheer terror. Her glass of wine had been in her hand. When her face went from delight to horror, she tossed it on the ground with a crash. A scream came from deep within her, which was blood-curdling and intimated that absolute ruin was imminent.
I turned toward the spot that she was staring at. I understood all at once the doom that awaited all of us in the dining room. A giant octopus came crashing through the windows near the entrance where we all had arrived, knocking over the many racks of wine as it came and turning the floor as red as blood. Seemingly at the same time, another came from the side closest to the ocean and blocked the only other way out of the dining room into the kitchen.
I grabbed Harper’s arm, and we ran toward the corner as far from the beasts as we could manage. It was pandemonium as the whole dining room erupted into turmoil. I flipped a circle table up against the corner so that Harper and I could try to hide behind it for protection.
I saw one man who ran as fast as he could towards a small opening next to the octopus, who was blocking the main entrance. The creature reached a giant tentacle out for him and pulled him into his beak. There were shrieking howls of pain, unlike anything I have ever heard as blood sprayed out from underneath.
A couple of people were able to dart around as the octopus was distracted. Another unfortunate lady was grabbed by one of the spare tentacles, though. He squeezed her around the throat, and we had to watch as her face turned purple. Eventually, the life was squeezed right from her body.
I held Harper tight as she was sobbing like mad and unable to stop her body from shaking. We saw an opening. The one by the front entrance went toward a group of people on the opposite side of the room. As soon as it did, we bolted for the door. As we drew near, another octopus came crashing through the window on the ceiling, crushing a few unfortunate souls as it joined in the massacre. We kept running until we were well onto the deck.
The chaos did not stop in the dining room. People were running like mad all over the deck. I didn’t know where we would be safe, but I thought that maybe we could lock ourselves in our cabin until we could be rescued from this madness. It was a nice thought, but as we went for the doors, another one of those damn things came down to block our way.
We ran for the area in front of the drive-in style screen where Re-Animator was playing. A man was gibbering to himself in a wild manner and hiding behind a chair. As we drew near, I noticed a tear in the screen as another one came through and snatched the man up as he yelled out for help.
Our options for safety were becoming extremely limited. We ran for the bar where we jumped over the top and hid with a large group of people, peaking over to watch it all unfold. That was when we saw what I knew would be the end of us all. There was an army of them descending upon us. I held Harper tight as we waited on the inevitable.
I watched as a family of three were huddling together in the middle of the deck. They were almost surrounded, but the father pushed the mother and child toward an opening so that they could make it to safety with the rest of us. He let out a guttural cry as they ripped him to shreds. His little girl cried in a high-pitched squeal reaching for him until the mother grabbed her and ran towards us.
The mother was getting close when one of the monstrous creatures came hurtling behind her. As she noticed, she reached out with her daughter. I leaned out over the bar and grabbed onto her as the octopus reached the mother and held her tightly. I was pulling my hardest as the mother was holding on tight, and I hoped that they both might be saved.
I was punching and pulling at the tentacles and doing my best to cause him to let the mother go. She released her daughter, and the others brought her down behind the bar. I wouldn’t let go of her mother’s arms as she cried out in distress.
That was when I heard it. It was the deepest and most powerful sound that I have ever heard. It shook the ship violently. The bottles of liquor and glasses were falling all around us. It was hard to describe the immense strength and power that the sound exhibited all around us. When the sound came, though, something strange began to happen.
The octopus that held the child’s mother released her, and we pulled her behind the bar with us quickly. She fell to her daughter and clutched her tightly as they wept in each other’s arms. All of the creatures began to release the people that they were attacking. They were moving in unison towards the edges of the ship. They crawled over the side, and one by one, they made their way into the ocean.
Once all the monsters had left the ship, the people made their way slowly to the side to see what was happening. For some reason, they were all leaving. As quickly as they had descended upon us, they left us. It appeared to be almost in a synchronized manner. They all were swimming in the same direction, and we watched in disbelief. Nobody aboard this ship would ever be the same if they made it out alive, but many of us were saved by what could only be described as a call. A call that came from something massive, much larger than the creatures that had plagued us. It was a call that came from deep within the ocean and was more monstrous than anything that we could have ever imagined.

A pleasant sunday to you. I'm a day late due to a real crime: A friend of mine planning their party on a friday instead of a saturday. And well, as it had to be, I got a decent hangover and wasn't able to concentrate on writing properly. This week we got ourselves revamps of the earlier base 5* units and a fantastic free unit in Machina, which I'll also review. Normally I do not review most free units, but Machina is on meta level despite being free and has some awesome merrits. Thus he shall be reviewed.
Other than that I hope you enjoy the review! See you on the other side. SPOILER: This is quite a long post.
PS: After having to take a break from writing due to other plans, I sadly have to continue this on the next day. My sincerest apologies, but at 11:30 PM after a long day it does become hard to keep on writing without sounding like your tired grandfather. I hope nobody will be bothered for the additional delay to the delay for some more quality. This review easily took 6 hours.
Generally, if you feel like something is lacking or changed, I'd appreciate your feedback :).

Banner Review: CG Ace WC Ace, BB Rem RemV2 & SS Machina MachinaV2 by Memel0rd

 

CG Ace Wild Card Ace:

Trust Master Reward : Wild Card (Throwing Weapon) - 44 ATK, 144 MAG, +20% MAG, 25% demon / machina killer
STMR : Vermilion Flag (Accessory) - 60 MAG, 50 SPR, MAG/SPR Break immunity
 

Overview:

First up is Ace and I'm glad they gave him the name Wild Card. I remember back then when Ace came out, he didn't receive a lot of attention. A friend of mine and I tried to convince some others that, the way Wild Card worked, he could be a competent damage dealer on par with Dark Fina, but sadly nobody calced units back. Even back then, Ace had the first magic ability that works like physical attacks.
Stat-wise WC Ace is very frail due to his low base HP and low base DEF. His MAG is really high and he also has high SPR. In terms of innate bulk, 60% HP and 40% DEF really isn't looking hot at all, but luckily through 80% SPR, innate MTDW and the newly added TMR from BB Rem turns WC Ace in a decently tanky mage. He also has 40% phys evasion and 50% magic evasion, thus really REALLY good chances to just ignore it. Additionally, he has a Guts passive that locks at 5% HP, thus, with an external guts materia or accessory, can technically survive two fatal attacks in one turn. With his own TMR, WC Ace has a total 220% MAG as well as 100% MTDW. With only TMRs he won't be able to hit the MTDW cap, but get pretty close. He also has an innate 150% demon / machina killer (175% with TMR), which is really good. In the current DV not too hot for the demon killer part and against the boss I also wouldn't use him due to the super high SPR. But later on you'll see why you still might want to use him. With Confusion, paralyze, blind and stop resistance, he's decently prepared against a lot of the fights. Blind immunity will actually be important.
WC Ace can W-/T-Cast all of his abilities and has a few neat supportive capabilities, setting him apart from our usual meta mages. He can also use any party esper, though on a damage dealer that often isn't the best call to make.
Firstly, ALL of his magic damage acts like physical attacks. This means that they will proc physical resistance on bosses and potentially bypass magic resistance. But more importantly, this means Ace will benefit from weapon elements, imbues AND physical killers, making damage gains far more accessable compared to mages. Killers in some regards aren't as bad anymore, but imbues / weapon elements mean that Ace is not restricted to any element. This is already a huge boost over all other mages in DV who can only work when matching against their own preferences.
Talking about imbues, WC Ace can self-imbue himself with Spark or Freeze Card for 6 turns while chaining and imperilling, though his on-demand chains will also imperil.
In terms of support, Ace can keep up chains, even though weak, while either negating the next incoming spell such as Dispelga or Meteor through Blind Stud, or apply a mirage stack on your whole party through Support Hand+. Both are awesome to have at any time.
This isn't where it stops as he can gradually improve on his HP Charge / MP Charge abilities. They start out as ST HP or MP recovers and use after use unlock better versions such as Giga HP / MP Charge up to Peta Charges after a total of 4 turns. Once you use the final version once, you'll unlock them until death. After the second tier, Giga Charges, the effects will be AoE. While MP Charge isn't that great with only an AoE 80 MP recover, HP Charge at the final stage can be handy due to chaining for decent amounts of damage while applying an AoE 20% Reraise, a self 5000 HP barrier and an okay-ish heal on the next turn.
Short Burst+ works in the same fashion as HP / MP Charge but is used to apply 100% AoE Stops. Sounds nice for arena but won't be available until your third turn, which is way too slow for the Arena.
But for on-demand chaining, Burst+ / Burst++ will also have the same upgrade system. The only difference between those two abilities is the family, either CWA or BS. We're using the BS chain in the rotation due to slightly higher chain values.
The way it works, it starts out as a 5300% chain while also imperilling both lightning and ice by 100%. Then on the next turn, Tera Burst has the same imperil but a 5500% chain. Then Peta Burst 110% imperil + 6000% mod BUT for fire as well and lastly Exa Burst with the triple 120% imperil and a 6500% modifier. So even starting out, the difference in modifiers isn't that big of a deal. If Ace died, you don't receive a major penalty.
And even if you lost everything, at Turn 7 you can receive ALL final versions of all the graduating abilities that I've just described. Once you use them, they'll stay permanently. If the fight lasts long enough, the additional support might net you the win or if you died on Turn 6 you can easily get all the progress back.
For offensive capabilities, Jackpot Triad, which is available at Turn 4, is a slightly stronger chain at 7000% while Attack Hand+, available at Turn 1 with a 3 turn cooldown, provides an undispellable and 100% uptime 250% MAG buff.
Do you remember the 7* versions of the Type-0 units? Do you remember 7 star Nyx? WC Ace takes both ideas and turns it into a way better version. He can still sacrifice himself to fill your entire evocation gauge, but with a twist. This time, he also fills 40 LB crysts for your entire party! Basically a strong AoE entrust. Not on the same level as Emperor Foo, but he fulfills a different role. Now sadly any sort of Reraise will be self-dispelled upon using it, so you gotta immediately revive him.
Every 7 turns Ace can also redirect all ST attacks to one ally for one turn. I'm not sure how particularly useful that'll be as if you do want to tank something, you likely bring a ST provoker anyway and the units who do redirect attacks onto themselves, such as Doctor Aiden, also have mirage mechanics built in.
His Limit Burst despite having a massive 7200% base modifier and the luxury of being filled right at the start due to Ace being a CG unit lacks LB damage. He doesn't surpass Elly's LB damage unless you have an external 50% LB damage buff. This assumes you do have an open materia slot for killers. For Turn 1 shenanigans his Limit Burst is still very useful due to being a way higher burst than his usual Turn 1 allows. In terms of burst, it is also only slightly better than his highest burst turn and would deal less damage overall due to the loss in MAG and the loss in potential killer materias over LB damage.
 

How does he fare in the meta?

WC Ace easily takes the throne in average damage in comparison to all of our other options.
Not only damage wise does he exceed, in every other imaginable way except for burst he's better. His bulkiness due to BB Rem's TMR is almost on par with DS Sol's while still having his guts passive and really high evasion stats. Then, on top of that, in comparison to every other meta mage that's listed in his damage calcs, he can swap his element by choice. Either through imbues or equips. He can also equip physical killers, which grants him yet another edge over others.
Despite having less burst than Physalis, I'd still rate him way above her for Dark Visions simply because he isn't only good in a few stages but potentially in every stage. Well, those where you'd want to use mages anyway, if the enemy has 6000 SPR but only 600 DEF then yeah, no.
In Dark Visions his Limit Burst can be a really good source of magic damage as finishing for every element you want, but without the use of an external LB damage buffer, his damage is subpar to Elly's LB. And using an LB damage buffer would "sacrifice" a slot to make WC Ace slightly stronger, which could've been filled up more efficiently.
In the future there are better LB damage buffers such as Pone or Ambie to bump WC Ace up in Dark Visions even further.
Even then, he has a really cool kit idea that works well and always having a mirage ability available is neatoo. The spell absorption is niche but when it can be useful it can easily save up an action of another unit who'd have to use it via an event materia.
The TMR itself isn't that great since many mages can't equip throwing weapons and even then it has significantly less base MAG than the other rods / the Dark Visions rod, but on Ac himself gives himself yet another 20% MAG for a total 40% as well as 50% bonus esper stats, which do make up for it. His STMR I don't think is that desireable. It has 60 MAG and 50 SPR, which is good if your mage can't tank the incoming magic attack and you don't want to sacrifice MAG, but the MAG/SPR break immunity is... eh. Breaks only decrease your base stats and outside of ambushes can easily be prevented by using proper buffs.
 

Build + Maths:

Wild Card Ace Damage Build: https://ffbeEquip.com/builder.html?server=GL#0e08c030-c425-11ea-8219-c768f320c4e6
Realistic Build: https://ffbeEquip.com/builder.html?server=GL#4dfa1310-c425-11ea-8219-c768f320c4e6

Wild Card Ace Damage MAG post 250% buff: 3742 MAG post 150% buff: 3457 Assuming spark chains Rotation: Turn 1: Spark Card + Attack Hand+ + Burst++ Turn 2: Tera Burst+ x3 Turn 3: Peta Burst+ x3 Turn 4: Exa Burst+ x2 + Jackpot Triad Turn 5: Attack Hand+ + Exa Burst+ x2 Turn 6: Exa Burst+ x3 Turn 7: Spark Card + Exa Burst+ x2 Turn 8: Exa Burst+ x2 + Jackpot Triad Turn 9: Attack Hand+ + Exa Burst+ x2 Turn 10: Exa Burst+ x3 Turn 11: Exa Burst+ x3 Turn 12: Exa Burst+ x2 + Jaackpot Triad Turn 1: 3457^2 x 39 x 3.556 x 1.5 + 3742^2 x ( 42 + 53 ) x 4 x 2 = 13128035954 Turn 2: [ 3742^2 x 55 x 3.6115 + 3742^2 x 55 x 2 x 4 ] x 2 = 17884984907 Turn 3: 3742^2 x 60 x 3.6115 x 2.05 + 3742^2 x 60 x 2 x 4 x 2.1 = 20334726477 Turn 4: 3742^2 x 65 x 3.6115 x 2.15 + 3742^2 x ( 65 + 70 ) x 4 x 2.2 = 23702239851 Turn 5: [ 3742^2 x 42 x 3.556 + 3742^2 x 65 x 2 x 4 ] x 2.2 = 20619817280 Turn 6: [ 3742^2 x 65 x 3.6115 + 3742^2 x 65 x 2 x 4 ] x 2.2 = 23250480379 Turn 7: [ 3742^2 x 39 x 3.556 + 3742^2 x 65 x 2 x 4 ] x 2.2 = 20291182704 Turn 8: [ 3742^2 x 65 x 3.6115 + 3742^2 x ( 65 + 70 ) x 4 ] x 2.2 = 23866593195 Turn 9: [ 3742^2 x 42 x 3.556 + 3742^2 x 65 x 2 x 4 ] x 2.2 = 20619817280 Turn 10: [ 3742^2 x 65 x 3.6115 + 3742^2 x 65 x 2 x 4 ] x 2.2 = 23250480379 Turn 11: [ 3742^2 x 65 x 3.6115 + 3742^2 x 65 x 2 x 4 ] x 2.2 = 23250480379 Turn 12: [ 3742^2 x 65 x 3.6115 + 3742^2 x ( 65 + 70 ) x 4 ] x 2.2 = 23866593195 Average Turn 1-12: 21,172,119,331 -> 169% of Dark Spirit Sol's damage ( 12,522,410,497 ) -> 153% of Lezard Valeth's Damage ( 13,790,027,420 ) -> 151% of Draconian Princess Fina's damage ( 14,006,112,259 ) -> 141% of Serah's damage ( 14,967,170,643 ) -> 129% of Four Winds Physalis' damage ( 16,424,984,030 ) 

 
Character Design: 8.5/10 Sprite: 9/10 Chainer: 9.5/10 Trust Master Reward: 7/10 STMR: 7.5/10 Arena: 5/10 Limit Burst: 8/10 Future Proof: 8/10 Free 2 Play: 9.5/10 Pay 2 Play: 9/10 Personal Rating: 9/10 Optimal Rating: 9/10
 
 

RemV2 Benevolent Beauty Rem:

Trust Master Reward : Knowing Tag (Materia) - Increase HP (10%) and MAG/SPR (30%) Increase potency of healing items (200%) Increase equipment MAG (25%) when dual wielding
STMR : Orichalcum Dirk (Dagger) - 22 ATK, 171 MAG, 120 SPR, 100% LB Fillrate, Enable Dual-Wield
 

Overview:

Back then Rem and Ace were probably one of my favourite units in the game despite me never having even touched Type-0. I'm very glad the Type-0 units are keeping me interested with actually cool kits!
BB Rem is back and has very similar base stats to WC Ace with the only except being that her pot stats don't focus on MAG but on MP. Back then it wasn't the worst, but generally focusing on MP is almost always suboptimal. With 230% innate MAG and an innate 125% MTDW as well as two more copies of her own TMR, she can almost reach the MTDW cap. Unlike WC Ace though, she has an ... ace up her sleeve. Rem has the 6x chain cap! Wooo. This definitely makes up the difference in MAG. Her own bulk is also pretty good, especially with three of her TMRs. Innately she has 120% SPR with 70% HP and 40% DEF. Again, the DEF department is lacking but that's not unusual for mages. At least she also has a guts passive. BB Rem definitely has worse resistances compared to WC Ace with poison, silence and stop. But hey, she has that 150% demon / machine killer.
BB Rem can W-/T-Cast all of her abilities and has a few note worthy abilities outside of her main rotation that might see some use. She can also use any party esper, though on a damage dealer that often isn't the best call to make.
For one, she has her old Healing Prayer back to cure all status ailments. This time around it has a higher mod but status ailment curing isn't nearly as important as it was back then but to be fair, despite also having Dualcast for Curaja and Reraise, she isn't a healer nor a true red mage. Though if you have some pesky boss imbues on you, for example dark, an element that he'd absorb, you can self-dispel your entire party, too, to get rid of these.
More interestingly is that BB Rem can spend 20 LB crysts, which she doesn't really need, to recover your party's MP by 200. If we ever get a nasty MP drain boss again then she can still recover MP without spending MP. She can also act as an MP battery, though that's mostly not required and since she is a damage dealer would rather have someone else do the job.
If you are using Rem without the assistance of MM Xon, you get the pleasure of having AoE 30% demon / machine killer buffs at disposal. WC Ace had them, too, with even higher numbers but as self-buffs. After using her Accelerate CD ability, the buffs go up to 50% and since they last 3 turns can easily be used in Dark Visions.
In terms of chaining, BB Rem does have access to CWA chains through her imbues and Dagger Boomerang, but you'll mostly use them when requiring AoE damage as the modifier of Dagger Boomerang is significantly lower. Also, the three AoE imbues for fire, ice and lightning don't work as physical attacks while all the other ones do.
She has the same set of self-imbues as Bolting Strike chains, which will count for all following ones, while imperilling by 90% and the imbue also lasts 2 turns longer than the prior options for a total of 6 turns. Having three different self imbues allows for easy element swapping if needed and requires less external set up as many elemental magic weapons usually lack MAG stats.
Instead of Dagger Boomerang, BB Rem's new on-demand chain is Flying Daggers+, which has a 4300% modifier by itself and after using Accelerate turns into a 4700% chain. Not the biggest increase but at least that means that she will barely lose out on any damage upon dying.
Two of her abilities match WC Ace's almost entirely. Almost.
Just like Ace, she has a self-sacrifice CD abilities with the same effects, too, but a shorter cooldown. Instead of having to wait 6 turns, you can cast it after 4 turns. That might enable some niche set ups-
Accelerate also has the same MAG buff, the same cooldowns and almost the same damage as Ace's Attack Hand+ with only less modifiers. Thus we'll use it every time we can since it also upgrades Flying Daggers+ Slightly.
To still give BB Rem some red mage vibes, she gains some really good utility via her CD ability Live On. Available at Turn 1 with a 4 turn cooldown, Rem can patch up team compositions including AWoL, enemy dispels or grant a neat headstart from your mage. Especially with two copies you could technically maintain the following buffs. All of the buffs last 2 turns, including a 50% mitigation, a super strong regen that heals over 6000 HP per turn and a 100% HP Reraise. If you actually do use two Rems, without any deaths or dispels, the regen and the mitigation can be kept up and might allow your tanks to focus more on support chaining or for some of the older tanks to keep up with trials if you got unlucky.
Her last CD ability shares the same cooldowns with Live on and her self-sacrifice while being used to imperil and up your damage at the same time! Triple 120% imperil for her three elements and a 6000% modifier? Yes and yes! The imperil effectively lasts 5 turns, so even if you miss out on it for one turn, it's not the biggest deal.
If the dispel does run out, you could use her Limit Burst alternatively as it re-applies the triple imperil while having an innate 9000% modifier (including her passives), but outside of that won't see much use. She doesn't get her LB for free unlike WC Ace, so no easy Turn 1 strats with it, and the modifer as well as her MAG is lower than Ace's.
 

How does she fare in the meta?

BB Rem is extremely close to Wild Card Ace for the simple reason of having the 6x chain cap. Despite having way less modifiers and less MAG. That shows how much of a difference the 6x chain cap really makes.
Outside of that, BB Rem can also perfectly chain with another WC Ace copy at any point in the fight for having on-demand CWA chains with Dagger Boomerang and on-demand Bolting Strike chains on her Flying Dagger+, making WC Ace much easier to use in Dark Visions. The best thing about it? Their damage is almost identical. WC Ace starts out slightly slower but has higher damage peaks while BB Rem is a lot more consistent.
In terms of bulk, BB Rem offers more stats but only slightly more while missing the 40% phys / 50% mag evasion, but in return has some awesome support in her kit. Her 50% mitigation might be able to save you up slots in a few Dark Vision areas and in trials while running a dupe or having a (busy) tank who can't (re) apply the damage mitigation can always help out. Remember, she's your damage dealer, having that kind of regen and mitigation on a damage dealer is always a huge pro.
All the other pros listed on Ace's meta comparison also apply for her as her abilities used in the rotation all act as physical abilities, meaning she can potentially utilise every element in the game and gear for physical killers, which grants more killers from almost all espers and more easily accessable ones to equip.
BB Rem's TMR is so amazing but puts the TMR mage builds in a very awkward spot. It can stack with itself, which is almost a phenomenon in GL for good TMR materias and boosts HP by 10%, 30% MAG/SPR and 25% MTDW. This means we got ourselves our first source of MTDW in TMR form. As a materia. Excluding the killer slot, this means all mages have way better MTDW potential now while gaining bulk, too. It's absolutely worth using a moogle container for as three copies of her TMR aren't exactly easy to get. Her STMR is a bit harder to rate. It's a dagger with a high 171 MAG and 120 SPR that also allows Dual-Wield and 100% LB fillrate. Here's the thing though: Even though many mages can equip Daggers, those who do go for MTDW often already have innate Dual-Wield. And if they don't, Four Winds Physalis' TMR already gives DW and 50% MAG. And the dagger can't have the 20% MAG rare ability from Item World. I'd personally use it for the 120 SPR, but it's very likely not going to be part of a BiS build due to lower potential MAG passives. It's good but I wouldn't STMR moogle it nor chase for it.
 

Build + Maths:

Benevolent Beauty Rem Damage Build: https://ffbeEquip.com/builder.html?server=GL#cf54fdc0-c421-11ea-8219-c768f320c4e6
Realistic Build: https://ffbeEquip.com/builder.html?server=GL#f85d9970-c421-11ea-8219-c768f320c4e6

Benevolent Beauty Rem Damage MAG post 250% buff: 3525 MAG post 150% buff: 3275 Assuming spark chains Rotation: Turn 1: Cleansing Freeze + Accelerate + Seraphim Strike Turn 2: Flying Daggers++ x3 Turn 3: Flying Daggers+ x3 Turn 4: Accelerate + Flying Daggers++ x2 Turn 5: Flying Daggers++ x2 + Seraphim Strike Turn 6: Flying Daggers+ x3 Turn 7: Cleansing Freeze + Accelerate + Flying Daggers++ Turn 8: Flying Daggers++ x3 Turn 9: Flying Daggers+ x2 + Seraphim Strike Turn 10: Accelerate + Flying Daggers++ x2 Turn 11: Flying Daggers++ x2 + Seraphim Strike Turn 12: Flying Daggers+ x3 Turn 1: 3275^2 x 25 x 4.9675 x 1.45 + 3525^2 x 35 x 6 x 1.9 + 3525^2 x 60 x 6 x 2 = 15835657779 Turn 2: [ 3525^2 x 47 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x 47 x 2 x 6 ] x 2.2 = 21800007312 Turn 3: [ 3525^2 x 43 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x 43 x 2 x 6 ] x 2.2 = 19944687540 Turn 4: [ 3525^2 x 35 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x 47 x 2 x 6 ] x 2.2 = 20170485998 Turn 5: [ 3525^2 x 47 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x ( 47 + 60 ) x 6 ] x 2.2 = 23932244562 Turn 6: [ 3525^2 x 43 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x 43 x 2 x 6 ] x 2.2 = 19944687540 Turn 7: [ 3525^2 x 25 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x ( 35 + 47 ) x 6 ] x 2.2 = 16844332570 Turn 8: [ 3525^2 x 47 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x 47 x 2 x 6 ] x 2.2 = 21800007312 Turn 9: [ 3525^2 x 43 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x ( 43 + 60 ) x 6 ] x 2.2 = 22732997790 Turn 10: [ 3525^2 x 35 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x 47 x 2 x 6 ] x 2.2 = 20170485998 Turn 11: [ 3525^2 x 47 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x ( 47 + 60 ) x 6 ] x 2.2 = 23932244562 Turn 12: [ 3525^2 x 43 x 4.9675 + 3525^2 x 43 x 2 x 6 ] x 2.2 = 19944687540 Average Turn 1-12: 20,587,710,541 -> 149% of Lezard Valeth's Damage ( 13,790,027,420 ) -> 147% of Draconian Princess Fina's damage ( 14,006,112,259 ) -> 138% of Serah's damage ( 14,967,170,643 ) -> 125% of Four Winds Physalis' damage ( 16,424,984,030 ) -> 97% of Wild Card Ace's damage ( 21,172,119,331 ) 

 
Character Design: 9/10 Sprite: 9/10 Chainer: 9/10 Trust Master Reward: 9.5/10 STMR: 8/10 Arena: 4/10 Limit Burst: 6/10 Future Proof: 8/10 Free 2 Play: 9.5/10 Pay 2 Play: 8.5/10 Personal Rating: 9/10 Optimal Rating: 9/10
 
 

MachinaV2 Steadfast Soldier Machina:

Trust Master Reward : Lævateinn (Sword) - 151 ATK, 30% MP, Enable Dual-Wield
STMR : Pluviale (Clothes) - 33 ATK, 38 DEF, 44 SPR, 50% ATK w/ Swords
 

Overview:

Now, for the gem of the banner: the free unit! I also don't like having to write SS Machina. So we'll keep it to Machina, hope that's okay.
Machina's base stats are surprisingly good with high HP, high DEF and high ATK, and again, for a free unit, can get to surprisingly high stats when fully geared. His innate bulk on top of being a TDW unit is great. An innate 70% HP, 140% DEF and 60% SPR can definitely be worked with. In return, his offensive passives are severely lacking in comparison with only 140% ATK and 50% TDW, but he does get the 6x chain cap. If you've build an esper up to max, for example Asura, Machina benefits from that a lot as he receives double bonus esper stats. Thus he gets a ton of free extra bulk, e.g. Asura with little trouble can give him +150 DEF/SPR. He's resistant against poison, blind, disease and confusion, which isn't the worst but poison and disease resistance aren't that useful. You'd much rather want sleep and petrification. Or paralyze. The 50% demon / machine killer won't do a whole lot since he doesn't deal the highest damage, but why not.
Machina can W-/T-Cast all of his abilities. This is extremely important as he has some awesome stuff. Unlike WC Ace and BB Rem, him being able to use all party espers can be beneficial for using e.g. Fenrir for the AoE Mirage, Golem for an AoE 70% phys mitigation or if needed, Lakshmi for an AoE heal. Depending on how you use Machina, he can have a free turn occasionally.
While Machina has poor average damage in comparison to other meta damage dealers, it doesn't hurt to gear him for high ATK as he gets a lot of natural bulk and once every 5 turns can deal actually good damage. Through his CD Ability, L'Cie's Duty, he can buff his own ATK by 300%, the modifier of all of his chains by 2000% and chains with a 3000% chain. Combined with Fear Slash, which will end up with a 4000% modifier, you can have a total 11000% modifier on a turn with 6x chain cap and a 300% ATK buff, thus making him actually contribute to burst damage decently. You can also imbue Machina with fire or lightning innately for 2 turns to prepare for the burst.
Now, more importantly, Machina is an amazing free unit as a breaker for various reasons.
As his original version, he is all about the chaining and breaking at the same time and he does that way better now.
All of his chains are Bolting Strike chains, matching well with the other two banner units but can also be used nicely alongside MM Xon as he also has T-Cast.
Machina has on-demand 75% DEF/SPR or ATK/MAG break that last two turns and turn into 70% breaks afterwards. Due to the T-Cast they are extremely easy to maintain and thus should be seen as 75% fullbreaks. They are ST but, yet again, you can apply two ATK/MAG breaks on Turn 1 if facing more enemies or if you set up the T-Cast you can apply up to three, which often enough covers all mobs.
If you need to dispel and re-apply breaks, he can do that, too. One of his breaks dispels first, then applies a 70% fullbreak and then re-casts the fullbreak on the two next turns, but be careful not to accidentally dispel your own debuffs.
In the same territory as his breaks, Machina can imperil and chain at the same time with Elemental Weakning. At first you have an effective 2 turn 120% triple imperil for fire, ice and lightning, matching BB Rem well, and then transition into 100% imperils. Again, since you can set up T-Cast and have 2 turns, it's extremely easy to maintain them.
My personal favourite part about his kit is that Machina not only is super fast and easy to use, but has 3 turn AoE 30% phys or magic mitigations. They aren't uncommon at this point but having them available just like that does make him stand out from other breakers as Rikku doesn't have any mitigations, neither does DoD Vanille nor Kryla and Locke only has magic mitigation. He also buffs DEF/SPR by 150% and cures the responding breaks, but those stat buffs likely only see some use if you skip tanks / healers for easier Dark Vision stages for example. The phys mitigation buff provides ally counters, too, with a max of 3. Seeing as many tanks nowadays don't counter with normal hits anymore, the additional LB generation isn't bad.
Machina has the same self-sacrifice CD ability as Rem and seeing as he isn't a direct damage dealer and can definitely work around dying for a turn, having your breaker self sacrifice himself for an AoE 40 LB gauge fill can easily be built into a burst turn. Let's say you are just done with breaking and prepare for the burst: if you're using an LB unit such as AC Cloud, this will surely come in handy.
Lastly, in order to unlock T-Cast, Machina can either use his CD ability Awakening+, which is available at Turn 1 with a 4 turn cooldown or his Limit Burst. In both cases, the T-Cast will last 6 turns and thus can be super easily maintained through his CD ability alone. The additional 200% ATK buff makes his chains hit a bit harder, but isn't relevant for his main burst.
The Limit Burst itself should be used either for preparing burst damage or for protection against a strong threshold. Beside the 6 turn T-Cast enable, the Limit Burst also applies an AoE 80% fullbreak. This break sadly only lasts one turn and his LB with 32 crysts is too hard to maintain to use it every turn. Even then, it would hinder him to use his kit properly. Thus having the option of going even higher to Rikku level of breaks is great for thresholds or bursting.
 

How does he fare in the meta?

Frankly, for a free unit, Machina is extremely impressive. Even in comparison to the prior ones.
He has the bulk, he has the easiness of use and he sets himself apart from other current meta breakers by constantly chaining all the time, being fast and bringing damage mitigation. He can even act as an LB supporter similar to Nyx did back then, but well, it kills himself.
I wouldn't put him above Rikku as she does a lot, too, while providing chains, imbues, mirage stacks and higher breaks. I would place him higher than Locke though as Locke, to be fully efficient, requires you to utilise Graviga, which does eat up two actions: using the Graviga and healing the damage done to yourself.
So while Locke has potentially higher breaks, Machina does everything else better. He's faster, has better mitigations, chains more frequently and has T-Cast.
Honestly there is no reason to not grab him. Especially for the following:
Both his TMR and STMR for being free gear are amazing. His TMR is a worse version of his prior version's STMR, but only by a tiny bit. You have a 151 ATK sword that grants Dual-Wield. This is great for units that prefer Dual-Wield but don't have it innately, such as the good old Cid, though he's a tad outdated. While his STMR is an amazing free chest piece for any sword wielding unit. 33 ATK and 50% ATK is on the same level as a limited unit's STMR, Fayt, and matches even other STMR's ATK levels. Just like Quistis' STMR, no reason to not grab it.
 

Build:

Steadfast Soldier Machina Build: https://ffbeEquip.com/builder.html?server=GL#9d93d230-c51f-11ea-8219-c768f320c4e6
 
Character Design: 9.5/10 Sprite: 8.5/10 Breaker: 9/10 Trust Master Reward: Free/10 STMR: Free/10 Arena: 3/10 Limit Burst: 8/10 Future Proof: 8.5/10 Free 2 Play: 9.5/10 Pay 2 Play: 7.5/10 Personal Rating: 8.5/10 Optimal Rating: 8.5/10
 
 

Conclusion

This banner brought a nice, fresh wind. All of the units genuinely feel different from each other and bring uniqueness into the rather stale meta. Wild Card Ace and Benevolent Beauty Rem both set themselves apart from our traditional mages that we have seen for the past months by utilising their original selling points. Using physical attack mechanics is a lot more beneficial, though also means that they can't be used properly against enemies with high physical resistances vs low / none magic resistance, such as Wicked Moon. On the upside, they do not get cucked by facing a fire resistant enemy and having nothing but fire elemental attacks. Machina is a fast pace breaker with a ton of chain utility as well as damage mitigations with the potential to cast espers and being a strong LB support. All while being free. This banner is a great catch up for those who have been lacking a proper breaker and mage as both Ace and Rem have way higher average damage than all other current choices while gaining easy tankiness. Rem's TMR plays a big role in all TMR mage builds as well and thus will stick around. That's how damage dealer banners should be like, actual kits with interesting, unique flavours.
 
I hope you enjoyed, even though it was a longer review I am glad that we finally got something new!
 

Memel0rd out​

"King-high diamond flush," I said boldly as I laid my cards out on the table.
Despite my strong hand, my heart still thumped in my chest as I waited for the only other player in the hand to reveal his cards. Although my odds of winning were good, I was nervous. If my opponent had the ace...
"Ace-high diamond flush," my train of thought was disrupted and heart my sank. My opponent had the goddamn ace.
Unlike any other time I had played Texas Hold 'Em at a casino, I had no idea what to expect. See, I wasn't at a normal casino. I was at the Holy Grail Casino, where one does not gamble with money.
My opponent had wagered a finger, and I thought that that had been some colloquial way of making a small bet. Just as we frequently say "an arm and a leg" figuratively for an exorbitant cost, I thought that 'finger' was being used in the same context. I was proven brutally wrong when the dealer, without a hint of emotion, pulled a large knife out from some concealed location and chopped my pinky finger off.
I screamed, both in pain and disbelief. I had been expecting the most intense gambling experience of a life time, but I hadn't imagined anything of this magnitude.
I had finally found a form of gambling even I balked at.
I'll come clean and say it, I'm a compulsive gambler. I've had an enduring fixation on Lady Luck as early as I can remember. As a child, I loved making bets - even small and petty ones - with my peers.
When I was eighteen, and had my first job, I squandered a bigger portion of my very first paycheck than I care to admit on scratch-off lottery tickets.
With my addictive proclivities, I ignored the glaring net financial loss that this incurred, instead gravitating to the mere twenty dollars I did win with those tickets.
Now you can tell me that my gambling winnings are heavily outweighed by my losses over the years, and you'd be right. It's a stubborn fact that cannot be truthfully denied.
But it didn't matter to me. I was addicted to gambling. I was always convinced that the big, life-changing win I needed was right around the corner. It is this lifelong habit that has not only brought about a life of financial strain, but which, I fear, has brought about my imminent appointment with my own mortality.
You see, my gambling problem reached its zenith last year after I cajoled one of my poker friends, Dallas, into taking me to a secretive and high-stakes casino that he frequently spoke of, and this is as good a place as any to begin telling what happened.
"So, is this the night you're finally going to accede and tell me more about the mythical 'high stakes venue' you claim to frequent, Mr. Big Shot?" I asked my friend Dallas.
Dallas was a pro at gambling. At least, he swept the floor with the competition nine times out of ten and the backroom card games we frequented.
Dallas groaned loudly in the passager seat.
"Come on bro," I said doggedly, "you can't just set something up on a pedestal like this and not expect someone to persist."
"I don't know man. This isn't kitty shit. This is the big leagues." Dallas answered.
"I'm not a lightweight." I objected.
"No...but this is way more than anything we'd ever bet back there," he said, referring to our backroom games, one of which we had just left.
"This is the real shit. Hard-fucking-core. This is the most hardcore gambling around." Dallas continued.
"Like what, Russian Roulette?" I joked.
"Nah man." Dallas said cryptically.
"Look man, I give you rides to these games every week. You owe me." I was getting seriously annoyed at his reticence.
"Fine," Dallas groaned, exasperated.
I couldn't believe it. I had actually worn him down!
"But I'm warning you. This is serious shit." Dallas said sternly.
"I want to go." I said firmly.
Dallas reached into his wallet and handed me a medallion.
Upon inspection, I saw one side was affixed with the design of an ornate, bejeweled chalice with the words 'Holy Grail Casino' written above it. On the other side, written in elegant calligraphy was the phrase 'omnem marmora' - "all the marbles" in Latin.
This certainly bore the look of a ritzy and exclusionary place. I had a feeling I'd either win the jackpot of jackpots or end up homeless on the street. The reality would prove much worse than the latter.
Dallas was looking at me oddly, almost as if he was worried. But he could tell he wasn't going to be able to talk me out of it. I still hate him for his acquiescence to my pestering.
"When can we go?" I asked excitedly.
"I was planning to go tomorrow-," Dallas started.
"When I should I pick you up?" I interrupted.
"That's...not how we get there." Dallas answered.
"What-," I started, but it was Dallas' turn to interrupt.
"When you go to bed tomorrow night, write your full name on a piece of paper, then put it and the medallion in your pocket when you go to sleep."
I looked at him incredulously. Had he been fucking with me this whole time?
"Look...just trust me. Either do it or don't, but that's how you get there." Dallas said matter-of-factly.
I looked silently at the road as we neared the place where Dallas lived. Dallas seemed to be pensively looking out the window, as if he was debating whether or not he should have give me the medallion.
I dropped Dallas off without a word and raced home. I don't know why I was such a hurry - I guess I wanted to start waiting for tomorrow night as soon as possible.
After a torturous day of waiting, the next night finally came. Remembering Dallas' instructions, I wrote my full name on a slip of paper and placed it, along with the medallion, in the pockets of my sweatpants that I was wearing to bed for that purpose.
I could have sworn that I had heard my name being chanted as I drifted off to sleep, but the authenticity of those sounds is still ambiguous. What is not ambiguous is the fact that, shortly after falling asleep, I found myself in an opulent red-carpeted casino.
I was in a lobby of sorts, at least I think that's what it was. I was in a large, marble room with Greco-Roman style columns flanking a plush red carpet that led to two magnificent ebony doors, which boasted intricately carved ivory handles.
As I was soaking in the amazing luxurious sight, a man in a suit briskly approached me.
"You can't go to the floor dressed like that!" He admonished me, pointing to my sweatpants and white t-shirt.
"I'm sorry-," I began sluggishly, a bit confused by everything. Was I honestly expected to go to bed in a suit in order to gamble here?
"No worries sir," the man had a rather upper class accent, "we will get you outfitted here free of charge."
A short while later I was sporting a fine burgundy suit, a white dress shirt, and black loafers, and being led by the casino worker back to those grandiose doors. He stopped in front of them, held one of the doors open, and ushered me in.
"Enjoy your stay sir," he said as he closed the door behind me.
I took in the even more impressive sight that was the gambling floor. I stood at the top of a red-carpeted staircase with gilded railing, looking down at a large room. On the far end, the words 'Holy Grail Casino' were displayed prominently on the wall, illuminated by spotlights.
Like the lobby, a red carpet ran through the center, bisecting the impressive layout of games and tables. Interestingly, there didn't appear to be any slot machines- there seemed to be exclusively traditional games. Poker tables, blackjack tables, roulette wheels, and craps tables I all recognized.
Finally, I descended the stairs. The patrons and staff paid me little attention as I set foot on the floor. I briefly scanned the floor for Dallas but saw no saw no sign of him.
I shrugged and decided to jump into the games. All around me, finely dressed patrons were engrossed in their games, and others stood to the side, nursing cocktail glasses or puffing on cigars.
I had never had much of an affinity for roulette or craps, and I avoided blackjack like the plague (it's definitely rigged for the house). Accordingly, I quickly settled on poker.
After eyeing several tables I settled on a table occupied by just one patron - an uninterested old man in a black suit.
"Can I join here?" I asked.
The dealer replied affirmatively.
I sat down and noticed there were no chips in sight. I thought it had been odd that I hadn't received any, but I had just figured they would be given at the table. Curious, I asked.
"First time?" The dealer raised an eyebrow.
"Yes."
The old man sighed, annoyed. What the hell? Shouldn't a patron at such a purportedly high-stakes venue be eager to have fresh meat?
"Well, the rules state that one's first game is one round of betting only." The dealer said in a monotone voice. No wonder old man was annoyed.
I nodded and sat down.
"But the chips-," I began to inquire.
"We don't use 'em here." The old man spoke for the first time.
Before I ask what we did use, the old man placed what would apparently be the sole bet of this hand: a finger.
Had I heard him right? He couldn't actually mean-
"Bet is one finger." The dealer said, interrupting my thoughts.
As I stated in the beginning, I assumed that 'a finger' was being used in the same figurative context that one often uses the term 'an arm and a leg.' I called the bet.
The cards were dealt, and I felt confident as I laid out the King-high flush I spoke of in the beginning. But then came the old man's ace-high flush, and then came the chop.
I screamed. To my shock, none of the other patrons even looked up from their games at the sound of my screams and the chop. Was this an ordinary occurrence?
Before I could get up from the table, the dealer also procured some sort of ointment and quickly dabbed some on the nub where my finger had been. The bleeding instantly stopped, and the pain eased, but I was having none of it. I got up from the table and began to run back to the doors. This was too much. I had to get out of here.
I heard a despaired howl coming from the direction of the roulette wheels as I made it back to the center of the floor, but didn't dare look back at the source. I stepped onto the carpet and set for the stairs when I nearly collided with Dallas.
"Hey you made it!" He said. "Oooh tough break with the finger," he indicated my hand.
"How have you never lost anything?!" I asked pointedly, barely resisting the urge to shake his shoulders.
"Well I have," Dallas smirked.
"You-you have all your digits." I sputtered.
"Well that's cause I won them back." He said.
"You can win them back?!" I was in disbelief.
"Of course, they'll reattach it if you win one."
I should have just cut my losses. I shouldn't have been swayed by temptation. But if you know the rabbit hole that is gambling, you'll know how much people put themselves in the hole vainly trying to win back a negligible loss, all the while turning that negligible loss into something substantial.
I was still weighing my options (stay or quit while still ahead) when a booming voice disrupted my deliberation.
"Attention floor! We have a class ten loser! Death!"
He couldn't actually mean-
Before I could make any kind of move, the patrons become a mob, and the wave people pushed Dallas and I to the center with them.
A man, who I noticed was already missing an arm, was on his knees sobbing. An emotionless casino dealer stood before him, holding a sword.
"Everyone c-cut y-your loss-losses," the man stuttered through sobs.
Before he could say anything else, the sobs were cut off by the slice of the sword, and the poor man's head hit the floor and tumbled, landing at my feet.